topic Current job.... new job? in Young people

Current job.... new job?

Life555 — Sun, 14 Oct 2018 11:22:28 GMT

Hey everyone,

So I have been working in a school at a TA for 2 and a bit years. I have had my fair share of tears at work as I care too much majority of the time. Well I guess you can’t care too much idk.

I have always struggled with anxiety and will often have times throughout every year where I have a really hard time but seem to magically “get over it”. This year on the other hand has been a constant anxiety and depression. I started seeing this amazing lady who does all these natural therapies. I had so many problems before seeing her but now all it seems to be is my job. So I’m usually okay when I’m there and I just adore the children and want the absolute best for them. I really really care about every single one of them. When I get home it is just awful I constantly cry and judge myself for everything I have done “wrong” compare myself to other staff and just want to be more like them. I feel so stupid and want to know more but can hardly ever bring myself to study. When I do I don’t seem to retain it as I’m probably just too stressed.

Anyways I could go on forever but it is really affecting my relationship as majority of the time I’m crying or zombie like and thinking of work. I am compensating leaving at the end of the year as it probably isn’t for me... but at the same time I’m not sure if I should just suck it up. Is it just me or is it the job?? So confused.

Thank you to anyone who reads this or comments. Love to you all

Current job.... new job?

Peppermintbach — Sun, 14 Oct 2018 20:41:35 GMT

Hi Life,

You are sounding very overwhelmed and drained to me. Even if it’s personally rewarding, I feel working in an an environment with lots of children can take its toll emotionally. I wonder if, anxiety aside, you might be a little burnt out...perhaps something to think about...

Your anxiety and depression seems particularly debilitating this year. It must be so hard coming home and feeling all this self doubt...

I wonder if part of this is because you hold yourself to very high standards. While there is nothing wrong with high standards, I feel it can become problematic if it starts impacting you negatively on a daily basis, for example...

Plus I suppose caring is a double edged sword at times. On the one hand, I feel it can help a person connect with others and motivate a person to help. But on the other hand, i think it can also also morph into self doubt, etc if there are other underlying issues like anxiety, etc.

I feel it’s hard to say whether it’s the job or other issues making you feel this way. Perhaps it would help to see a careers advisor as well as figure out conduct a self assessment e.g. write down your personal passions, personality traits, etc and see which career paths they align with...

Also, I’m thinking that you might like to visit the Headspace website as they focus on helping young people with mental health struggles. Maybe you could give them a call and see what advice they might have (plus they also have a range of free services)...

Those are some gentle suggestions from me. They may or may not suit you but I wanted to share them anyway...

Please know you are always welcome to write here whenever you like. There’s no pressure of course but the option is always there. If you feel up to, maybe let us know how things have been since your first post...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

Current job.... new job?

Ell43 — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 23:13:02 GMT

Hi Life555,

Pepper has given some really awesome advice, lots of which I would have suggested, but won't waste time repeating.
I just wanted to say, it sounds like you are doing such great work, and I think any student that is lucky enough to work with you is very fortunate!! A TA that worries they care too much about their students sounds like they would be an amazing support for a child, and a huge advocate for them, which is so often needed.

I also wanted to mention that the work you are doing is NOT EASY, by any measure. The kids that need extra support are often really difficult to manage, and that job can be tiring, stressful and at times feel very unrewarding. However, its also SUCH important work, and I am so grateful for the people out there that endeavour to help those kids that need it the most.

I don't know a lot about your personal situation, but I just wanted to leave a little message and say try (very hard I know) not to be too hard on yourself (eg comparing yourself to others, reflecting on mistakes ect). A lot of the time we are more harsh on ourselves than anyone else in our lives. I try to live by the motto, be as kind to yourself as you are to other people. It sounds like you are a very kind and caring young person... don't forget to show some of that compassion to yourself... you're doing the best you can!!

If you felt confident enough, I'd also suggest maybe seeing your GP and asking for a mental health care plan to see a psychologist? You might be surprised and find a few session learning some techniques to help you relax after work and separate job stress from impacting your personal life could make a huge difference!

Ell x