Is this functional depression?

Yellowmango — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 11:14:39 GMT

Hey guys,

I've never reached out before so I don't even know how to begin. I'll try to keep it concise. Bear with me.

When I was 18, I had aspirations to wake up in the morning and love my job and travel the world. Now I'm almost 25, people around me are travelling the world and friends I had a uni have landed positions I really wanted after graduating that I haven't been able to obtain myself. It seems everyone is having such a great time living their 20s. I'm afraid that I'm wasting mine.

Currently, I have a full-time job I dislike and basically just had to accept after finding it difficult to obtain the ones I wanted, have not been anywhere overseas and I have a very limited circle of friends. I feel I don't particularly have best friends who message and ring me to hang out all the time so I get kinda lonely. I was very fortunate to have met my partner who became my best friend. We live 1.5hrs away from each other and as time is getting closer to his phd submission date, I see him maybe twice a month if that. I've tried to talk to him about feeling lonely but he just doesn't get it because I don't think he has ever felt that way.

So basically at the moment I'm getting by with this job I hate, see my partner once in a bluemoon and have very limited friends. I'm just rolling through the motions and not particularly loving life. Is this functional depression? Does anyone else feel like they are slowly wasting their 20s feeling like this? Any suggestions on some strategies?

Cheers.

Is this functional depression?

SammyD100 — Thu, 04 Oct 2018 01:11:16 GMT

Hi Yellowmango

Firstly well done on taking the plunge and reaching out to the beyondblue forum. It must have been pretty daunting and I think it’s a really brave step. My response is more from the perspective of a Psychology student, so I hope you get some other replies and advice from people in a similar situation.

I think many people will be able to identify with those aspirations you had as an 18 year old. I certainly do!! I too expected to end up doing a job that I loved, travelling, and just generally living a life that I relished. The reality hasn’t quite matched that unfortunately! I’m now in my 30s, having never managed to find The Right Job, so am back at uni to try and get me to where I thought I would be by now : )

The job market is pretty tough, so I can imagine you may have taken a job you didn’t want, just to get a foot in the door? I think that’s probably a decision a lot of people have to take, at least when starting a career. It’s ultimately much easier to progress a career when you have employment, than when you don’t.

It’s great that you have a partner who is also a best friend, but I can imagine it must be really tough not being able to see him much. Are you interested in trying to make new connections with people, perhaps through joining a sports team or some other interest you have? I wonder if any of your friends are part of other groups / teams / activities you might be able to join in with?

I think it’s really hard to have any perspective on what other people’s lives are really, truly like. That person in a high status job with a perfect partner and beautiful house? Inside they may actually be incredibly unhappy. It's so easy to see people’s constructed images of themselves on Instagram / Facebook / etc and think that everyone else is living an amazing life. But sometimes I wonder how happy other people really are? I wonder if some of those people who seem to be having a great time, are actually struggling with similar thoughts to yourself?

You ask if you might be struggling with depression? It's hard to comment based on the information we have but it's possible that you're struggling with a bit of an adjustment at the moment. Either way I wonder if you might find it helpful to talk to someone a bit more. Perhaps try your partner again when he has some time and space to really sit with your thoughts? Or a friend or family member? Taking time to exercise, and eat and sleep well, can also be really helpful.

Best of luck, SammyD

topic Is this functional depression? in Young people

Is this functional depression?

Is this functional depression?