topic HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage in Young people

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

Chelsea l — Sat, 03 Nov 2018 05:00:37 GMT

I’m new to this, so hi I’m chelsea, I was diagnosed with Depression and anxiety 3 years ago, when I was 15 years old,I’m 18 now and my school is trying to force me into getting up on stage with all the other graduates and I’m not ready for it. I’ve slowly been able to help myself so now I have no issues with getting up in front of 15-20 people, but their trying to make me get up infront of my entire school, which goes from ages 15-18, which calculated, is about 400 people, I’m literally struggling to write this because I’m crying and shaking, And I’m annoyed because I’ve had 2 anxiety attacks this year, when I haven’t had any issues with it since I was 16, even with moving to a completely new school at 17. I just would really appreciate if somebody could give me some advice on how to explain this to my principle, cause it’s nit just the anxiety, I hate having to get up on stage because I don’t like the way I look.

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

White_Rose — Sat, 03 Nov 2018 06:55:59 GMT

Hello Chelsea

Good to meet you and welcome to the forum.

It can be very daunting to stand up in front of a large audience when your instinct says no. What exactly would you be doing on stage? Would you stand there with all the graduating students or are you expected to say or do something?

I understand how terrifying it can seem, especially when you you are still managing your depression. I do congratulate you on the progress you have made so far. It's certainly not easy to climb out of the pit called depression.

So what does your school know about you? Are they aware of your depression and the panic attacks this year? I think the attitude of throwing someone in the deep end to make them swim is a poor way to manage and this is how it seems to me about your stage appearance or non-appearance.

What do your parents say about this? They obviously know you are depressed and presumably having been helping and supporting you. It may be a good idea to ask mom or dad to speak to the school principal.

If your school does not know about your depression I can see why they think you should get up on stage. Usually it's not a problem although some students get a bit giggly about it. If this is the case you will need to think about how much do you want to tell the principal, especially as you will be leaving at the end of the year. I think this is where your parents can help. They can say you are too nervous to stand in front of the whole school.

I wonder if the school will penalise you in some way. Is this possible. Clearly they cannot stop you graduating or withhold any paperwork so I do wonder what they could do. Just a thought but very unlikely.

I think you first and best method id to get your parents involved. Please let us know if there is some reason your parents cannot speak to the principal.

Mary

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

Chelsea l — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 03:16:23 GMT

Thanks Mary and yes I have to speak on stage, I have to try and give some advice to a little 6 year old, my school does know about my depression and anxiety, they have known since I started there last year, I can’t get my parents to talk to the principle because they thin k I should do it as well, I have tried to talk to the principle myself but she still won’t listen. I have actually just calmed down from another panic attack today because of it. I have until Wednesday to convince somebody that I’m not ready to talk in front of that many people

chelsea

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

Lucifer — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 09:45:48 GMT

I personly think you have all the right to not go up on that stage, adults just don’t take things siriously. My advice is if you have a well trusted teach or a well being type thing at your school is to talk about it to them and try to get them to convince your principle.

If worst comes to worst, breathe, think about nobody is going to judge you, make eye contact with one person or none at all, pretend like your talking to only one person.

keep all this in mind and if so ask if you can have headphones and listen to music. Music helps in stressful situations.

hope this is helpful, thanks

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

Chelsea l — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:27:34 GMT

Thanks Lucifer

i have actually come to an agreement with the school, I will have a practice session, with Just the teachers and the little 6 year old that I’m giving the advice 2 (I have with held her name because ya know, she’s only a little kid) and they said that if i still am not comfortable doing it I only have to get up on stage and not say anything, although I’ll give speaking my best shot, as my mum has said that if I do I can sign out and go home with her instead of catching my normal school bus

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

therising — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 22:43:27 GMT

Hi Chelsea l

My heart goes out to you, as you have a genuine fear which those around you are unable to fully relate to. This would be frustrating and upsetting.

Chelsea, you mention the progress you have made which is truly amazing and I believe people need to respectfully acknowledge this progress. If you are not ready for this degree of challenge, something you can continue to work on in the future, then you are simply not ready.

In reality, you don't need anyone's permission when it comes to not getting up on stage. You're your own person, who has every right to decline the invitation if you feel you're not ready to accept it. Saying 'No' to authority figures, like parents and principles, can be challenging but at the end of the day the choice remains yours. Have faith in yourself and remain strong when you decline an invitation. Challenge that mental program that's taught to us from a young age, the one that says 'I must do as I am told no matter what'.

As a mum to 2 teenagers, I always encourage my son and daughter to ask the question 'Is this reasonable?' They have every right to challenge a lack of valid reason, no matter who it is coming from. If the reason given to you, in regard to public speaking, is 'Because you should and it's expected of everyone' then it sounds unreasonable and thoughtless (lacking in genuine thought and consideration, especially given your circumstances). A reasonable negotiation on your part may be 'I will stand among others on stage but I will not be singled out to give a speech. My anxiety is genuine and I am entitled to consideration and respect'. By the way, perhaps you can compose an inspiring letter to the 6yo concerned. This way, a message is still conveyed but in a different form.

Take care Chelsea and continue to ask throughout life 'What is reasonable?' The ability to reason remains a skill which encourages us to relate to our self and others.

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

Chelsea l — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 04:35:50 GMT

Good news I faced it head on. I spoke clearly into the microphone. I blocked out everybody else, except for my fellow grade 12s who are leaving with me and my little prep who I was with

anxiety: 0 Chelsea: 1

i know that my anxiety will always be there. But I feel much better having done it

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

therising — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 06:39:08 GMT

Hi Chelsea

YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND AND AN INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!

Great job!

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

PamelaR — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 06:55:00 GMT

AWESOME CHELSEA!!! As therising said, you are an inspiration. Very proud of you.

Anxiety, did not win. That is so good.

Woohoo. What a way to leave high school.

PamelaR

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

quirkywords — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 07:26:44 GMT

chelsea

That is great news. go Chelsea.!

I was about to write some reassuring advice as I read through the posts when I saw your last one.

You will give inspiration to others.

Maybe when you have time you can think about what worked for you?

Was it the chance to have a practice and the choice not to do the speech.

I think you have learnt a lot that while anxietynis always there you can do things and challenge yourself.

Thanks for your honesty in sharing your story.

Quirky

HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage

Guest_946 — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 08:58:18 GMT

Well done Chelsea! Awesome news.