topic Struggling to adult. in Young people

Struggling to adult.

Loulou97 — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 02:15:03 GMT

Hey, new here. I’m usually always happy. Always smiling, never sad. But the last few years have been really hard. I had a great childhood, and have always been just a really happy person. Until I hit my adult years. I feel like I’m drowning, both financially & mentally. How is everyone doing it?! How can they afford a house & children & still be able to pay their bills & not worry? I’ve had trouble with money from the start, my first two cars that I paid for just stopped working & I was finding it difficult to get a loan as I wasn’t much of a saver. I was in an accident 2 years ago, I was fully insured, but I was never taught what to look for in an insurance policy.... well, they ended up giving me HALF what I paid for my car, & for someone on a little wage, I was without a car & with a huge debt. I was fortunate to have a car company take pity & pay the excess & push through another loan, but that bit me in the bum even more.... my repayments were more than $100 a week, plus on top of that I had to pay this company back $50 a week.. which they didn’t disclose when they were ‘helping me’.. I felt used & abused at my lowest. I expressed how little money I was getting a week, & they ensured me all would be fine.. but alas, to this day, I’m still struggling. I’m 21 years old & my credit rating is stuffed, I’m barely living paycheck to paycheck & it seems no one can help me!! Or wants to.. I tried to consolidate my loans to make everything a bit cheaper but I was declined... thanks to a default from 2 years ago that was paid but a permanent mark on my record. I feel I can never catch a break. I want a house, a family, everything I’ve always dreamed of, but this seems so far away. Now I’m not suicidal, I am grateful for my life, but I’m struggling to see the bigger picture.. I just want to be happy again. I want to have a normal sleeping pattern, I want to stop stressing & making myself sick from worrying if I can pay my bills this week. I am looking for techniques or strategies on how to look at things a different way, or how to breathe & just take it all like a big girl. I don’t usually reach out as I’m stubborn & can do things by myself, but I can feel myself wearing thin.

Struggling to adult.

UniversityResearcher — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 10:03:19 GMT

Hey Loulou.

It sounds like you have quite a lot on your plate. And I applaud you for being brave enough to write about it here with the community, and for making it this far. You are strong and resilient, I can tell just from the way that you have written.

I believe that anyone in your position would be feeling a sense of overwhelm, and that what you are experiencing is normal, and in that sense I am validating the way you feel.

Do you currently live at home with your folks or are you renting elsewhere? And are you currently working?

Sam.

Struggling to adult.

Loulou97 — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:04:38 GMT

Hi Sam, thanks for replying. I’m currently living with my boyfriend at his parents house in a little granny flat. I pay $75 a week which only includes 2 meals a week. To top off everything that’s going on, the power bill came in which is $1000 & they’re making us pay half (there’s 3 of them & two of us). I feel I’ve got enough to worry about & now this! I just can’t catch a break. I’m finding myself just wanting to get into bed all the time & stay there. I was really getting into the gym & getting healthy (I have a few health issues but that’s another story) but now I can’t even find the want to go anymore! I’m the kind of person that always sees the bright side of things, & I don’t usually get down when things get tough, but I just can’t seem to stay positive this time. I just received the job of my dreams, but I’m starting off as a trainee on a trainee wage. I still get $520 a week which is more than enough on a normal week with bills, but it’s seems like everything has all happened at once: my car needs to be fixed, 4 new tyres, rego, greenslip, pink slip, blah blah..... I thought I was ready for it but don’t have nearly enough. I will get though it somehow, it all ends up working out (just) but it’s just getting through this tough time is the tricky part. Sorry if I sound like I’m complaining.