https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/young-people/living-with-a-depressed-partner/m-p/336679#M15243 <P>Hi Jayden96,</P> <P>Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.</P> <P>I'm sorry that you have to go through this. As someone who has both experienced and helped a partner through depression I can see both sides of the story and it's very hard.</P> <P>I would really love to help but I'm just a bit confused; so I hear that your partner went to a psychiatrist who spent 30 minutes with him and diagnosed him as Bipolar - then prescribed an anti-psychotic. Was there any follow up? Has he been taking this medication?</P> <P>I agree with you in that I'm very hesitant to believe psychiatrists when they make a diagnosis so quickly. Sometimes the DSM (Diagnostic Manual) can seem like a bit of a checklist, so it becomes less about what the person is experiencing and more about 'fitting in a box'.</P> <P>You mentioned that you don't communicate but talk to him all the time; can you elaborate on that? What sort of discussions have you had?</P> <P>Given my own experiences, saying that he doesn't love you anymore might be his way of coping. I know that many people can feel and believe that they're unloveable and not worthy of being loved; so it's a way to 'push you away'. Another situation is that he might not really be aware of what he's feeling, so if he's not feeling the way he used to (like a honeymoon love) he might be mistaking that as not 'in love' anymore.</P> <P>I would also encourage you to consider seeing a psychologist;- as they can provide so much support in terms of being able to talk about things, find the next best step for you both, and cope with your own frustrations (like a non-existant sex life) without being judged. If this is not something you're open to, maybe you might just want to reach out more to friends and family; just so you can feel a bit more supported while you go through this together.</P> Wed, 28 Jun 2017 00:13:40 GMT romantic_thi3f 2017-06-28T00:13:40Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/young-people/living-with-a-depressed-partner/m-p/336678#M15242 <P>Hello, I've never really posted on a forum before- I've never really read them either but I feel like I need some help with dealing with my situation as I'm finding it difficult to deal with.</P> <P>I'm 20 and my partner is 21, we've been living with each other since we basically started dating 18 months ago - we have recently moved out with each other to our own place and it's going alright. Late last year my partner was feeling really down and went to see a doctor, they rushed him through appointments as he was threatening suicide - he ended up being "diagnosed" bi-polar and was instantly put on a new anti-phycotic.</P> <P>This all happened very fast and I'm trying to keep up with it all. A few months went by and he started to believe what he was diagnosed with, I didn't believe it at first as the physiatrist only had 30 minutes with him and I felt it wasn't a very in depth consultation to label my partner with something like this.</P> <P>Anyhow, the problem I'm facing is my partner believes there is nothing wrong with him although he's being ignorant to the fact of what's happening. Our sex life is non-existant and we don't communicate at all, even though I talk to him about it all the time. He's starting to say he doesn't love me anymore, then he does all of a sudden and all I'm trying to do is help him.</P> <P>Im very lost and need some guidance... What do I do?</P> Mon, 26 Jun 2017 11:59:21 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/young-people/living-with-a-depressed-partner/m-p/336678#M15242 Jayden96 2017-06-26T11:59:21Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/young-people/living-with-a-depressed-partner/m-p/336679#M15243 <P>Hi Jayden96,</P> <P>Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.</P> <P>I'm sorry that you have to go through this. As someone who has both experienced and helped a partner through depression I can see both sides of the story and it's very hard.</P> <P>I would really love to help but I'm just a bit confused; so I hear that your partner went to a psychiatrist who spent 30 minutes with him and diagnosed him as Bipolar - then prescribed an anti-psychotic. Was there any follow up? Has he been taking this medication?</P> <P>I agree with you in that I'm very hesitant to believe psychiatrists when they make a diagnosis so quickly. Sometimes the DSM (Diagnostic Manual) can seem like a bit of a checklist, so it becomes less about what the person is experiencing and more about 'fitting in a box'.</P> <P>You mentioned that you don't communicate but talk to him all the time; can you elaborate on that? What sort of discussions have you had?</P> <P>Given my own experiences, saying that he doesn't love you anymore might be his way of coping. I know that many people can feel and believe that they're unloveable and not worthy of being loved; so it's a way to 'push you away'. Another situation is that he might not really be aware of what he's feeling, so if he's not feeling the way he used to (like a honeymoon love) he might be mistaking that as not 'in love' anymore.</P> <P>I would also encourage you to consider seeing a psychologist;- as they can provide so much support in terms of being able to talk about things, find the next best step for you both, and cope with your own frustrations (like a non-existant sex life) without being judged. If this is not something you're open to, maybe you might just want to reach out more to friends and family; just so you can feel a bit more supported while you go through this together.</P> Wed, 28 Jun 2017 00:13:40 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/young-people/living-with-a-depressed-partner/m-p/336679#M15243 romantic_thi3f 2017-06-28T00:13:40Z