topic Bad reaction to breakup. in Young people

Bad reaction to breakup.

sad-artist — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 04:27:28 GMT

I'm a 20 year old female who recently broke up with a live in boyfriend. We had been together for 5 years. I'm struggling. I can't eat, I can't get motivated to do anything. I'm constantly anxious and get nauseous. My stomach has a heart beat and my chest is tight and heart beats fast.

I know it's for the best. I'm glad it happened. But I'm reacting badly. I don't know who I am , I don't know what to do now. And I don't like being in the flat on my own. I spend no time there I'm always with my mum.

I don't want to feel like this, I don't like constantly crying , I don't like not feeling like myself. But I don't know what to do to fix it.

The break up was mutual we were to different he just wanted to hang out with friends constantly, never texted me never came home never wanted to spend time with me and would never make sacrifices, and I'd be angry and horrible because of it.

I feel like I'm going to explode physically. And emotionally. It's frustrating because I know it's for the best. I don't know why I'm feeling this way.

I guess I've never been alone, and don't have my own life. And now I'm on my own I don't know how to handle myself. I'm scared and can't get myself up to get into a new routine. I need help. I'm missing work, I can't function normally.

Bad reaction to breakup.

Confusedandhurt — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 14:59:41 GMT

Hi sad-artist

Geez you are going through a tough time. Heartbreak is the worst. You said you broke up recently, how long ago?

Have you got friends / family that you can lean on for support? It can be really hard when we have centred our lives around our partner, and then when they are gone, it is hard to know who we are (I've been there a few times, and currently there after a 12 year relationship).

It is important that you find things that you enjoy doing. Even if they are solo things for now, until you build up your social network. I have found the gym is a huge help for me - it gets me out of the house, I feel better because I am looking better and I am around people, yet I don't have to interact with them if I don't want to (headphones FTW).

Another thing I have found is journalling. Some days I write pages and pages. Then the next day I go back and I read everything I wrote for the days / weeks prior...I forget that I felt that way, but at the time I didn't think I would be able to get past that feeling at that moment. It does pass though.

I like reading about the facts of why my heart feels like its actually breaking, like that physical pain of an elephant on your chest.

I think it helps to understand the bodies physical reaction and the emotional connection.

Heartbreak sucks. That is for sure. But it will pass, and to make it easier, get yourself doing things that you enjoy even if you don't enjoy them so much the first or second time around. It will get easier.

C&H xx

Bad reaction to breakup.

geoff — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 21:48:08 GMT

hello Artist, I am sorry for how you are feeling, breakups can never be nice at all, it doesn't matter what the reason was or why it happened, the decision was that it had to end, and reading through your comment you keep saying that ' I'm glad it happened' even though it was mutual.
I know you have made the right deision, simply all he was interested in was being with his mates and not treating with all the respect she so needed, that's what happens at your age, and I dearly remember it when I was going out with my real g/friend who I later married for 25 years, unfortunately not anymore, but that's besides the point, because I treated her with all my respect, she was an angel, and that's how she should have been treated, and exactly how you should have been, and it upsets that you weren't, never the less I'm pleased that there were no wedding bells here, it could have ended much worse than it has.
As you've never been alone, that makes it difficult, especially after being with him for 5 years, but your personality must be vibrant, sparkling and every bit effervescent, then you mustn't stay home, you're wasting time and what about all those guys who have had their eye on you for 5 years, I'm sure they are still out there, hoping to swoop you away, that holiday they have always promised to themselves, that if you were available it would be their dream to ask you, I beg you'll love to go with them.
I'm sure your mum has been great consoling you, but now take that advantage, they will appear without any doubt. Geoff.