topic How to deal with my parent that has depression in Young people

How to deal with my parent that has depression

simply-outspoken — Fri, 23 Jun 2017 13:43:13 GMT

Hey,

One of my parents just told me that they have depression and I don't know what to say or do. I just walked away and have hardly said a word. I don't want to be selfish and make them feel bad but I feel like I can't really do or say anything with out someone getting hurt. This is all so new to me and I don't know what to do. has anyone gone through a similar situation? any advice.

How to deal with my parent that has depression

geoff — Fri, 23 Jun 2017 18:59:23 GMT

hello, I think when a parent tells you that they have depression, you feel helpless all of a sudden, because they have been there for you since birth, helping you along the way, through thick and thin, helping you overcome all those obstacles in life that you weren't able to confront on your own, but when it happens now your support base has broken down.
This can be an awkward situation for you because now you're the person who your parent has to rely on for support, a complete circle has taken place, where everything they used to do isn't happening any longer.
There is so much information on this site to read, but perhaps if you click on 'Get Support' and scroll down where you can download publications or if you want you can order them from BB, I'm only saying this so that you will become a little knowledgeable on what depression means and how it affects people, but remember your parent may have been struggling for a great deal of time, but hiding it from you.
At the moment you may not be told too much, and that's what does happen, and what they may do is sleep most of the day, and everything else that they used to do won't necessarily happen any longer, that's what depression does, it's a powerful illness that makes them be non responsive.
You have to try and organise an appointment with the doctor, where they may need to be encouraged and the doctor could quite possibly prescribe medication, some type of antidepressant (AD) but side-effects could happen, sometimes it's until their body starts to accept this new drug, but it will take about 4- 6 weeks before they start to work, if the side -effects are extreme then it's back to the doctors.
There is so much more to discuss, but as I'm running out of space, I'll leave it, but please get back to us. Geoff.

How to deal with my parent that has depression

Kid_in_denial — Fri, 23 Jun 2017 22:35:10 GMT

As a daughter and a parent with depression I would have to say that sometimes it is ok (even better) to say nothing when you are unsure what to say. My advice would be to read as much about it as possible, take lots of positive advice you find on sites such as this and use it to go back and address the elephant in the room. Acknowledge it. Learn to not only accept it yourself but to help them accept it by addressing it. Don't spend all your time asking if they're ok. Check in on them - if possible. Use the power of distraction. Know the signs you should look for to make sure they're safe. I may speak for myself but as someone with depression I just want people to understand. The best help always comes from those who truly understand. Those who can empathise and never give up.

How to deal with my parent that has depression

Croix — Sat, 24 Jun 2017 08:05:44 GMT

Dear Simply-outspoken~

It's a strange and uncomfortable thing to be told by your mum or dad that they have depression. One can feel very inadequate not having a ready reply. Also there is the worry of saying the wrong thing and maybe doing harm or hurting the person in some way.

You have already some pretty good advice from Kid_in_Denial and Geoff, one of the things he says is to use the information areas of this site (eg The Facts Menu above) to learn about depression and having conversations with family or friends about it.

You can say straight away you love the person and want to help and support them. There is also nothing wrong in saying you didn't know what to say but that your silence did not mean lack of care, just inexperience.

Please feel you can come here and talk as much as you'd like, we'll always try to help

Croix

How to deal with my parent that has depression

simply-outspoken — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 11:17:09 GMT

thank you, thats very helpful advice!

How to deal with my parent that has depression

simply-outspoken — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 11:28:53 GMT

thank you. They seem fine and they are seeking their own help which is good. They are handling it well so thats so a major issue. but thank you for your advice and information

How to deal with my parent that has depression

simply-outspoken — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 11:30:19 GMT

Thanks for your support and advice