topic Friends ignoring me in Young people

Friends ignoring me

Scorpion — Fri, 19 May 2017 08:11:14 GMT

Not sure what to do.

My friends are annoyed with me about something (I think its a small thing) and since Monday they have ignored me or only sometimes reply. We play games online together but I have not been able to play with them since Saturday because they won't let me join and ignore me when I try and get invited.

Should I give up? (they are the only friends I have and I struggle with making friends and talking to people)

Or wait it out? (its been five days now)

Friends ignoring me

SubduedBlues — Fri, 19 May 2017 10:06:45 GMT

Hi Scorpion, welcome to BB

You know that person who is sometimes in the circle, but usually not? The one you're not really friends with, but one of the people from your circle thinks their okay, but just a little be odd? Yeah, that guy/gal.

I recommend you go talk to him/her. On one hand, you may find a new friend. On the other, they can be your ear to the circle... to find out why you're being cast aside.

It usually ends up being something along the lines of "oh that's what their worried about? but it was nothing?" Well, actually it was nothing to you, but was probably a something to one of the circle. And, unless (or until) you apologize for it, you're on the outside of the circle.

that's my two cents. Hope it helps.
SB

Friends ignoring me

Scorpion — Tue, 23 May 2017 13:49:14 GMT

Update: It's been over a week now, some of them are still ignoring me, others only reply to certain things I say and I haven't been allowed to join them.

I feel so alone.

Friends ignoring me

geoff — Tue, 23 May 2017 23:05:54 GMT

hello Scorpion, it's sad when all of a sudden your 'friends' don't want to have any contact with you, was it something you said or did you do something that annoyed them, well wouldn't you think that if they were friends, they would have told you, in whatever way they normally would, but no nothing.
If they contacted you after a week, how would you feel, maybe pleased, but where would you be on the pecking order, probably last, and would be very careful what you said or did in fear of being outed once again, that's not how friends should behave.
I don't think that you would be comfortable joining up them again, I maybe wrong, but what you are seeking is confirmation that you are accepted back into the group, but these 'friends' are only acquaintances and could quite easily push you out of the group once again, if they do accept you back, and that would be just as heartbreaking as it was before.
There must be other single people who have been longing to meet someone else to be their friend, start a new group or try and join into another smaller group.
Friends come and go as you mature, start a different job, or join a group where activities, such as a fishing club, chess group or what ever you decide to join, and these acquaintances will all drift apart eventually, as they meet new b/friends, g/friends and then start to have children.
The chap who was my best man at our wedding, I haven't seen him for 15 to 20 years, but in the meantime I've met other people, and so it goes on. Geoff.

Friends ignoring me

romantic_thi3f — Tue, 23 May 2017 23:13:51 GMT

Hey Scorpion,

Thanks for your post.

Sorry that you're being ignored and I know how much that sucks. I'm glad that you're here though so that we can try and give you some support.

You definately could give up or wait it out, but since it looks like it's been a week it doesn't sound like waiting is helping.

My suggestion is to go and talk to them. Whatever they are annoyed about I'm sure that you can all tackle. Even though it may seem small to you maybe it's a bigger thing to them. Only way to know is to go chat.

Friends ignoring me

Scorpion — Wed, 24 May 2017 04:11:53 GMT

Thank you for your replies 🙂

I've talked to them and the two main things I did that annoyed them was stuffing up in games and being too clingy.

After thinking about my own problems I think I have an anxiety problem. I get anxious about a lot of things and sometimes I get anxious about nothing. Didn't realize at the time but I have also had a few anxiety attacks.

I think the reason I stuff up in games is because I'm being expected to be good and become anxious because I don't think I can do it. When I play games where I'm not anxious I play well.

The clingy thing started a few weeks ago and I think it was because I sensed they were pulling away and I became anxious thinking they would leave me.

Not sure if I should tell my friends my problem, I don't want them to treat me differently (like tip toe around me and trigger me or anything).

Friends ignoring me

romantic_thi3f — Fri, 26 May 2017 01:03:17 GMT

Hi Scorpion,

Thanks for your post.

Gosh this a tricky one! Being clingy can be kind of a circle because we become clingy because we don't want them to leave and yet it kind of pushes people away - so then we become clingy thinking that they'll leave!

I think that it would be best to try and tackle your anxiety head on and try and break that cycle. Knowing that you're clingy can be a good thing so that you can be aware of it. Maybe that might mean taking a few breaks, or doing your own thing every now and then. Of course if you want to get help for the anxiety you can do that too by talking to a school counsellor or bringing it up with someone you trust.

It's completely up to you whether or not you want to talk to your friends about it - everyone reacts differently so it makes sense that you would be a bit nervous about it. Maybe if you decide to tell your friends you could say "hey, don't treat me any differently - I'm just letting you know" or "I'm not trying to be clingy, just cut me some slack sometimes" - whatever feels right for you.