topic Get angry over nothing everyday in Young people

Get angry over nothing everyday

JMS_Art — Tue, 05 Sep 2017 22:57:19 GMT

(This may be upsetting to someone going through emotional issues. Just giving a warning.)

Hey guys, I'm 21 and I've been struggling with emotional issues for around 3 years now. It started when I got assaulted and dragged down a street when I was 18. A friend took a solar light from this mans garden and waved it like a light saber and we thought it was funny but I admit it was stupid. The dude just ran out screaming. He grabbed me and bashed me on the street while my "friends" pissed off.

Ever since then long term trust in anyone has been impossible. I've cut ties with everyone I new from school and if I happen to make new friends its only a matter of time before I start distrusting them as well. This often results in me feeling betrayed over nothing and me ending up alone avoiding people. I have never been in a relationship because of this exact reason. I see peoples worst qualities so clearly after a just a week of knowing them and then start getting angry at them. This has resulted in me turning once friends into sworn enemies. I've gotten death threats which doesn't mix well with an already emotionally unstable person. All I want is ONE genuine friend and someone to potentially start a family with one day but as life moves on that wish starts looking like a fantasy that wont happen.

I've seen a psychologist but don't feel like it works at all. I despise drugs and any kind of mind or emotion altering medication. Being artificially numb isn't appealing to me but I fear if I refuse medication the only other option might be to go to a mental ward. I feel like no one truly wants to help so they just throw anti-depressants at you till you don't know your surroundings anymore. I might be wrong but that's how I feel.

Apologies for the long anecdote I usually like to keep it short but this is a long time of built up emotion in text form. Thanks, please send me wisdom and advice.

Get angry over nothing everyday

romantic_thi3f — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 01:04:21 GMT

Hi JMS_Art,

Thanks for your post.

I'm sorry that you've had to go through this; and I feel frustrated that you seem to be feeling so alone in this. I'm glad though that you were able to reach out and I think you're in the right place. BeyondBlue is a good community here, so hopefully we can help you feel a bit less alone.

I'm wondering if you can tell me more about what's happening with the psychologist? Medication is certainly one option but it's not the only one. There's good research about a combo of meds and therapy but you have the right to say no to that. Ideally we're hoping for a psychologist who can listen to what you're going through and respect your own wishes but still feeling like you can move through all this.

I will say too that not all medication makes you feel 'artificially numb'. There is a lot of people on medication and you wouldn't even know it. Sadly the movies and the media portrays it all like zombies who can't feel. I'm on medication myself and I know I'm definitely not numb! So I understand if you don't want to be on medication but I know there are medications out there that don't create that feeling.

As for a psych ward, I can see that would be a scary thing to think about. I think it's important for you to know that psychologist's don't really like to send people to psych wards; they only really do so when they feel the patient's safety is at risk and they aren't safe on their own. The aim will always be for you to be able to handle things on your own. Maybe this is something you could chat to your psychologist about; and talk about what your options might be.

Hope this helps,

Get angry over nothing everyday

JMS_Art — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 01:48:57 GMT

Hi romantic_thi3f thanks for the advice. I've been seeing a psychologist for about a year now. He's constantly got clients so waiting time often can take up to a month. Whenever I see him he'll listen to my problems and try to offer advice. I like him hes really nice and understanding but this one side of me just doubts everyone. I sometimes feel like he's just being nice to me because its his job, not because he cares. That really hurts me and I constantly get into a dark space in my mind where I'm certain no one legitimately cares about me or anyone. Then I calm down and rinse and repeat.

Talking about my problems doesn't help me at all it just brings up bad memories. I was misleading in my post I do have two friends (my friend from school and his girlfriend). But I fear if I lose one of them the other will turn their backs as well since they're partners.

The tiniest things upset me to the point of rage and its so weird. I'll start grunting and I might snap at someone if I get really bad but almost instantly after I snap at someone I think to myself "what the hell am I doing"? Its like I've suddenly come back online to see the carnage I left over from a blind rage. I get so tunnel visioned like an animal.

I can however proudly say that I've never been a violent person even when extremely angry, I've never hit anyone in my life and can confidently say I never will. I don't know if I properly answered any questions you had. If not just let me know.

Get angry over nothing everyday

romantic_thi3f — Mon, 11 Sep 2017 00:44:55 GMT

Hey JMS_Art,

Thanks for your post.

I really appreciate you sharing so much here; I know it can be really hard to open up to people and it sounds like this is something you've been holding onto for a while.

As someone who really wants to be a therapist I can tell you we don't do it for the money! We genuinely care about people and that's what fuels us to get in the field. If we felt like we had to 'be nice to people' the job would get old so fast. It's actually really common to have that feeling though; but try and remember that he probably wouldn't be in the field if he didn't genuinely care (or he shouldn't be!).

From what you've described about your rage it doesn't seem weird to me at all. It sounds like maybe that assault kind of triggered like a trauma response; which is why it's so hard to feel close to people or to think that they might turn their back on you. Your friends broke your trust that day; so it completely makes sense to me that it would be so hard for you to trust again.

I'm glad to hear that you haven't hit anyone and never will; sounds like you've got a lot of self-control there even though things probably feel pretty intense at the time.

It would be great to know what's happening with the psychologist. What sort of stuff do you guys talk about? Is this something that you've shared with him? You don't have to share this of course; but I guess where I'm coming from it might help for you to be able to get on the same page with him and feel like you're able to move through this.