topic I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care. in Young people

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Wed, 30 Aug 2017 23:14:54 GMT

I struggle to get out of bed every day, I feel sad almost ALL the time and I have Lots of symptoms of a depressed person but I am very good at hiding it. I get to school and I'm a bubbly, funny and happy person who's kind to everyone. That's why I'm still debating whether or not I'm depressed, because I can 'snap out of it' so easily. It's still there, in the back of my mind, but I can push it away.

i don't think it's healthy to hide it the whole time. Recently I had an argument with my friends at school which somehow ended up in me telling them that I have been struggling with feelings of anxiety and depression, which I had never told anyone. It resulted in them saying 'they wish they knew so they could help' but since then, no one has talked to me about it. I'm not even sure they're my real friends anymore. That's why I miss so many days of school, because I don't think I fit in.

sorry if my writing is all over the place, I'm just trying to write how I feel and any advice would be greatly appreciated. Basically, high school sucks and feeling anxious and depressed sucks even more. Writing on this forum is a big step for me, because for a long time I've been debating whether or not how I'm feeling is hormones or something more.

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Pysis — Thu, 31 Aug 2017 01:31:55 GMT

Hi Liza

im not a proffesonal but it's sound to me like you are depressed just becuase you can hide it dosent mean it's not there I'm the same I can hide my depression and like every things all hunky dory but inside I'm not ok and just becuase you are depressed dosent mean you can't feel some happiness it just tends not to last very long. With depression it is an extream sadness or empty kind of feeling that dosent ever go away while you have it, dose that make sense?

no it's probably not healthy to hide it all the time but it's not something that a lot of people know how to deal with so your friends probably do care about you but it's not something they know how to help you with, if you really want them to help you just try opening up to them a little and see how they react if they are understanding and caring then if you feel up to it keep talking to them about it, but if they act strange and don't know what to say try not to take it personally it's just they don't know what to do.

hang in there ok, I'm sure your friends care about you.

im here if you need to talk as well as a lot of other very nice people.

good luck Nath

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

swtpotato — Thu, 31 Aug 2017 10:59:20 GMT

Hi Liza!

Yes, high school does suck. It's also more difficult to recognise feelings of depression or anxiety, and I feel like more likely to blame ourselves as many people in high school haven't experienced mental illness in friends/family or personally. Looking back at it now (4 years ago) I can tell I was depressed, but I didn't realise I was at the time. I wish I had been more open with my friends about my feelings, as I know now that a lot of them were going through a lot at the same time but we were all too anxious/embarrassed to tell one another.

I would say it is very likely that your friends are not sure what to do about it, and also at that age may be very self-absorbed and there's just not much you can do about that. Starting with sharing your feelings of sadness, which are universally understood, may help. Telling them what you need, like going over for a movie/walk/tea would help them help you. I also find talking about these things on the phone much easier, I am always much more honest.

Try not to overanalyse your feelings too much (I do that, it doesn't help). Stay with them, they may be scary but sadness is natural. There is too much pressure to be happy esp in high school. Things that help me: friends, journalling, yoga, meditation (most helpful so good).

I think what would help most is counselling, even just a school counsellor. I know it can be scary, but this is very normal and they hear about this kind of stuff all the time. They would be able to assess you and empower you to make some life changes.

This is my first post helping others so I hope this is in some way reassuring, I am also very new. I hope you can tell us more about yourself and what you enjoy (or used to) it would be nice to get to know you.

Stay strong! Hope it gets easier soon!

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

MsPurple — Thu, 31 Aug 2017 12:22:07 GMT

Hi Liza and welcome to the BB forums.

It is common for anyone with a mental illness or going through a stressful period to put a mask on to hide how they are feeling. Unfortunately we still have some stigma towards mental health. It is getting better over time however more education is still needed. People don't understand mental health like they do physical health.

Have you looked into maybe talking to a school counsellor? They maybe able to help you through this tough period. Mental illness affects 1 in 4 at some point in their lifetime, however only 20% get help and struggle alone. I struggled alone for ages and I wish I hadn't.

Might I suggest a youth mental health service called headspace. you can find them at www.headspace.org.gov.au I would look into your local headspace and see if it is for you. You can also take advantage of their online services where they have online chat services and you can call someone up for a chat if you like.

I just want you to know you are not alone. I also struggled in high school but tried to avoid it. I eventually got really unwell and my parents got me help which I am thankful for.

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

geoff — Thu, 31 Aug 2017 23:14:11 GMT

hi Liza, welcome to the site, have been able to do the K-10 test it's a test to see if and what level of depression you may have, I suggest doing it a few times but not straight after the other, different times of the day and then let us know what score you get.
You can't keep pretending that everything is supposedly OK, because it's too exhausting and the more you put on a brave face the higher you will fall, but you have to realise that what happens with your friends is that they slowly disappear and lose contact with you.
They do this because they are not sure on what to say to you, and secondly they are self-fish, they don't want to be burdened with trying to provide answers for you, especially when a depressed person doesn't follow through with them or just can't do them.
Do your parents know how you are feeling because they will need to know so that an appointment can be made with a doctor, if you don't want them to know, then perhaps try and involve another family member who is over 18, an aunt, brother, sister or g/mother, because you're only young it needs to be handled now, tomorrow is too late, and please let us know how you get on. Geoff.

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 13:34:30 GMT

Hey, thanks for responding, I really appreciate it.

I get what you mean about it never going away, I'll be doing something and I'll feel happy and then all of a sudden I feel down again...

Maybe you're right about my friends not knowing what to do about it and I will try to open up to them a bit more.

Thanks again

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 13:46:43 GMT

Hi, thanks so much for responding.

I would love for me to be able to talk to my friends about the kind of things that I would like them to do to support me, however I feel like they are a bit less mature than I am and I feel like there's never a good time to talk about it, which sucks!

Thank you for the suggestions, I think I will try out yoga, I've heard from a lot of people that they love it.

I would go and see a school councillor, however the councillors at my school are also teachers and for some weird reason I don't want to talk to them because I feel as though they'd treat me differently if I had a class with them or something (weird, I know). And I don't really know what I would say at counselling because I can't figure out a real reason for me feeling depressed and anxious, so I don't know how they'd help me (also weird, I know).

Your post definitely helped me a lot, thank you so much. The support I have already gotten on this website so far is more than I've ever had 🙂

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 13:52:26 GMT

Hey, thanks a lot for your reply.

I'm worried that if I go and see a councillor that I will have nothing to talk about because I don't know what's causing my depression and anxiety if that makes any sense. I've never been to a councilling session before, so I don't really know what goes on but the whole thing seems pretty daunting.

I'll definitely look into headspace and see if it's for me, thank you for suggesting it.

Thank you so much for your advice, it feels good that I am not alone.

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 13:59:53 GMT

Hi Geoff, thanks for responding.

I have done the K-10 test multiple times and every time I got around 35-high.

I feel like I am preparing myself to drift from my friends because I can't be friends with people who don't care about how I feel.

My parents know that I get anxious some days and they know that I've felt down a lot recently but because I try to hide it all the time, I think they think that it's not as bad as maybe what it actually is.

I will definitely let you know how I'm getting on soon, everyone's kind advice has inspired me to stop pretending that there's nothing wrong and to do something about it.

thanks again

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

swtpotato — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 23:36:12 GMT

Hey Liza,

I definitely understand the weirdness of going to see a school counsellor. I felt pretty anxious my first time, I found it really strange as I wasn't sure what was expected of me or how to go about it. They may ask about your situation - family, friends, how you're finding school, and what you are finding the most difficult. Hopefully it will help you validate your feelings and find ways to move forwards. Sometimes I'll have a session where I don't really learn any new strategies, but just being able to externalise my emotions and thoughts to someone who understands makes me feel a little better. You don't need to have good reasons behind your depression and anxiety, and feeling guilty/ashamed for not being able to get over it is simply part of the depression. It sucks haha. But there are plenty of options out there for help and treatment.

Friends - possibly one on one time? You don't need to spill all of your feelings out at once, but maybe just letting them know what's going on? Like - I've been feeling really shitty, want to make hot chocolate and watch a movie for e.g. If not any of your friends, a family member? Don't worry I know how difficult it is to talk about it!

I also know when I was super depressed, I didn't want people to tell me how I could get better - it made me feel like I was a problem to fix. So I hope you know you aren't alone, and that it is completely okay to feel like this. When you feel like you are ready you can start taking the steps to get help.

This might include: regular sleep schedule, meditation/yoga, healthy diet (eat ur veggies), GP visit - let them know, check iron levels, vitamin d, etc, ask for a mental health care plan (or do this at headspace), it's so easy and they are so professional, ask a friend/family member to come with you, regular exercise (could just start with short walks). Also therapy workbooks are really helpful honestly, it may feel a little embarrassing but it's great to work through and sometimes completely turn my depression around, I just get the top ones from amazon to read on my laptop.

That might be a little overwhelming haha, take from this whatever you want and seems helpful, all just suggestions.

Hope to see you around - good luck! I am sure you will be okay.

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 00:19:47 GMT

Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it and will definitely take your advice on board.

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Pysis — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 01:47:45 GMT

Hi liza

with your friends I agree with swypotato this is something that can be very overwhelming so if you go and tell them all at once that your depressed that can scare them, start by telling them about emotions your feeling that they can relate to, sad, emotional ect and then slowly tell them what that means at the moment. I'm sure that they care about you but like I said just have no idea how to help you or understand. My best friend hasn't got any idea how to help me and I'm ok with that at first when my depression was really bad I just thought it was becuase she didn't care about me but really that was my depression talking, she is like my family and that will never change but she jaunt dosent know how to be here for me at the moment, so don't take it personally if even after you open up to you they still don't try and help you it's probably just becuase they don't know how.

i can understand being worried about going to the school counsellors and really I think you should go see a gp and ask to be referred to a physiologist this dosnt mean there is something wrong with you it just mean that your going through a rough patch and need just a little help getting through. Don't worry about not knowing the reason why your feeling this way a physiologist will be able to help you understand and figure it out and sometimes there isn't any real reason it's just how you feel at the moment and that's just how depression works.

good luck Liza

nath

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 07:18:58 GMT

Hi Nath,

thanks so much for your advice, I have definitely taken it on board and I really appreciate your help.

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Pysis — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 07:30:28 GMT

No problem liza

you should check out the thread, join our circle of friendship and suport in social threads

it's just where some of us talk and get to know each other if you want to of course.

There are a lot of good people on here that can offer you suport. I've only been on here a week and I've found it helpful.

anyway I'm here if you need to talk.

nath

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Pysis — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 09:40:39 GMT

Hi Liza how are you going?

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Cesca1557 — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 10:26:29 GMT

Hi Liza,
well done for reaching out! you have definitely come to the right place 🙂
yes high school can suck at times and feeling anxious and depressed definitely does suck even more

I can identify with so many things that you have said and are going through! From what you have said, it does sound like you have some level of depression, being skilled at hiding it doesnt mean its not there.
Its what I like to call 'functional depression'. Where you are able to put on a mask and have laugh and talk with friends, go to work and act normally, study and do well at school but when you get home, everything can sort of just fall apart and thats when the sadness or emptiness hits. It is what I have as well.
It can be easy to think that you are okay, or atleast managing because you are still able to interact with friends and family almost as if nothing is wrong.

I can tell you first hand that it is not healthy to hide it. Ive had depression for around 7 years and have only recently decided that I need to try everything i possibly can to get better now (including taking Antidepressants), as im not happy with just getting through each day and being happy most of the time when im with friends but then being a mess when im on my own.

Please dont do what I did and wait so long thinking that you can handle it on your own, or thinking you are okay and dont need the help. Have you thought about seeing a psychologist? or talking to your GP about it?
I also know what its like to not feel like your friends understand, i have one or two friends who have also gone through a lot that I do feel comfortable talking to about my depression and anxiety, but most of my other friends either dont know the extent of it, or dont know there is anything wrong at all. Its hard because when they havent been through anything themselves, its hard for them to know what to say or do.

i know its hard, but try not to put too much pressure on them not saying or doing the right thing. i know its hard on you because you need their support more than ever, but im sure they really do love you, they might not know what to do.
how have you been since you first posted this thread?
always here if you need to talk

cesca

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 02:28:23 GMT

Hi, I'm going pretty well I think. I decided to talk to my mum about what I'm going through and she took me to my GP who referred me to a psychologist, who I'm seeing tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous to go because I don't know what I'm going to say but I know that it will benefit me.

Thank you for checking up on me!

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Liza_O12 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 02:33:52 GMT

Hi Cesca, thanks for responding.

I feel like you read my mind! It feels good to know that others can relate to what's happening to me.

Recently, I spoke to my mum about what's happening and we went to the GP and she referred me to a psychologist. I feel like ive gone from ignoring my problem to fixing it very quickly and I am proud of myself for doing that.

Thank you for supporting me, I really appreciate it and good luck to you as well.

Liza

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Cesca1557 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 03:15:48 GMT

Hi liza,

so glad to you took that positive step so quickly and spoke to your mum about it! talking through everything will definitley help

theres a really good article on themighty.com called 'What Are the Signs of 'High-Functioning' Depression and Could You Have It?' which is definitley worth a read if you have the time

I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

Cesca1557 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 03:16:59 GMT

oh and good luck for the psychologist appointment! it can be hard not knowing where to start but the most important part is that you are starting