topic New here. Dottie 😊 in Young people

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Sat, 06 Aug 2016 07:29:30 GMT

Hi,

I'm new here 😊 Little about myself is that I'm studying full-time at uni and working part-time.

Struggling...been on a roller coaster ride of emotions but mostly feeling down. Mornings have been the hardest.

And I feel lonely. I have friends and family, but for various reasons, I don't confide in most of them.

On the outside, I act like I'm coping. Inside, it just hurts.

Motivation has been a struggle lately. Have to force myself to do my uni work when all I want to do is cry.

My uni friends seem to have this impression that I'm always motivated and seem to cope. But they don't see what goes on in my head or behind closed doors. It's not that I'm always motivated and coping, but it's just that I FORCE myself to do what I need to do.

I just feel drained at the moment. And teary.

Thanks for reading.

New here. Dottie 😊

james1 — Sat, 06 Aug 2016 09:52:55 GMT

Hi Dottie

I'll post a longer reply later because I'm not at home but I just wanted to let you know we're here for you. That sounds like a mountain of stress you're dealing with at the moment

Hugs

James

New here. Dottie 😊

Cold_Mirror — Sat, 06 Aug 2016 11:06:46 GMT

Hi Dottie

You have a lot on your plate with full-time study and working as well. I know what you mean about looking as though you're coping well, whilst the inside is much different. I find mornings hard too when I'm depressed.

It's important to have some outlet for your real feelings. So, joining here was a very good idea. I hope that you stick around.

There is also counselling available for students at most Australian Universities. Usually it's something like 6 free sessions a year. Keep that in mind if things really get on top of you. It's worth finding out now what services are available so that you know where the help can be found if you need it.

Take good care of yourself. xx

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Sat, 06 Aug 2016 11:56:34 GMT

Thank you James!!!

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Sat, 06 Aug 2016 11:59:41 GMT

Thank you Cold_Mirror. I appreciate that you can empathise- makes me feel a little bit less alone. And I'll keep the uni counselling in mind! Thanks again xx

New here. Dottie 😊

Cold_Mirror — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 06:08:19 GMT

Hi again, Dottie. I just want to say how moving it is that you've replied to so many newcomers with some very positive words. So lovely of you to help people feel comfortable and valued. 🙂

New here. Dottie 😊

james1 — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 09:11:35 GMT

Hey Dottie,

I'm so glad you're feeling a little less alone now.

I've seen some of your other posts on other threads and you seem like a really caring person so it's great to have you on board.

Just a quick background of me: I was working and studying full time as well at the beginning of the year and, while I was doing pretty well academically, the stress was clearly getting to me. Eventually, after I finished the exams, I decided it was time to re-evaluate and I'm looking to drop uni for now.

Will your uni let you drop some subjects now without any financial or academic penalty? I think it's really great that you've recognised you are under a lot of stress. You really are putting in a superhuman amount of effort and that's really impressive, but we are only human. It'd be worthwhile thinking about whether you can reduce the load this semester. Your mental health is so much more important than finishing uni faster.

It is not a failure on your part at all if you decide to drop. I honestly think it takes more willpower to reduce our workload, especially for people who have gotten used to being really under the pump.

Let us know how you go this week. I'm really thankful that you've joined us because you've already supported others on their posts, and your post here has helped me clarify my own situation.

You're a real star Dottie, I hope you can afford to give yourself a little bit of a breather.

James

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 14:33:03 GMT

Aw thank you Cold_Mirror. Your kind words made my day and brought a smile to my face.

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 14:58:30 GMT

Hi James,

It's great to hear from you again. Thank you for your encouragement and thoughtfulness- your message has given me some things to think about and I appreciate the support immensely.

I think it was great that you reassessed your situation and state of mind after your exams. It shows self awareness and self care. You've got to do what's right for you so if you feel that dropping uni for now is what you need to do, you've my full support.

Yes, my uni lets students drop units without academic or financial penalty if it's before the Census date. I'm doing 4 units currently. I want to do at least 3 units this semester, so the question for me is whether I want to drop 1 unit (and do 3) or stick with 4 units. My plan is to see how I go over the next couple of weeks before I make any changes.

Many thanks again 😊

New here. Dottie 😊

geoff — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 19:40:36 GMT

hi Dottie, I agree with James and want to thank you for taking the time to reply to other people, because you know when you aren't feeling the best it can be very difficult to raise yourself up to that next level and help other people.
There is no blame for you not to be able to talk to your friends, because it may make you feel uncomfortable, afraid of what they might say in return, but this can be very common as we are never sure of what sort of reaction you will get.
What also happens is that a brave face is put on your face indicating to everyone that you are feeling good, but they never know exactly how you feel, but this is where all the problems begin to build up so you haven't got any release.
Uni can always be finished now or later on because what is much more important is how you are feeling, your health, as you are not able to achieve anything when you are feeling down or depressed, but when you feel on top of the world it's amazing how much you can do and what you do is that you enjoy all of it.
On top of the uni counsellor (6 visits) you are able to be put on a 'mental health plan' which your doctor will give you, and this entitles you to 10 free visits to see a psychologist.
If you want to drop down to 3 units before tomorrow then it may help you, and please never ever consider this as any part of failing, your not, your just being rational, and remember if you wish you can take up that other unit when you are ready, but can I suggest that you go and vist your GP to get the ball rolling.
We hope that we can keep hearing from you to other people but also for your own health. Geoff. x

New here. Dottie 😊

Sinking92 — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 22:49:17 GMT

Hi again Dottie,

Your post reminded me of a time in my life, when I first suffered depression, I was at uni full time and working part time too. I had been feeling down and lonely more and more, but I didn't tell anyone how I felt, in public I seemed ok, alone I just broke down and cried, and it was a real struggle to get my work done. Then several major things happened and I just broke. It ended up being too much, and I failed most of the units. In hindsight I was depressed at this point but I didn't talk to anyone about it for a couple of years still.

So I think it's great that you've recognized that you're struggling and have reached out before it got to the stage it did with me.

I know it's awful to force yourself to get your work done, but it shows strength, as does reaching out, and your helping others, despite how you feel and you can be proud of yourself for that.

It sounds like a good plan to see how you go over the next weeks, as the others have said there's no reason at all to feel bad if you need to reduce your workload.

I hope your contact here will help you to get through this. I think the replies you have above from james1, Cold_Mirror, and geoff are very helpful.

New here. Dottie 😊

Enju — Mon, 08 Aug 2016 00:09:44 GMT

Hey gorgeous,

I can totally relate to you and I'm sorry for not finding your intro thread sooner!

Studying while working is so hard, so I can feel you! That and forcing a smile on everyday is something I think a lot of us do best. I always come back to the thought that the happiest looking people are always the saddest.. or have the most going on behind the smile.

I hope your course is going well, and work isn't being too strenuous. Something I found that made life a little.. easier was actually cutting work back a lot. I know this isn't an option for everyone, but with the support from the dreaded centrelink, it could help, especially since you are a student.

I wish you the very best and lots of love and cuddles!

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Wed, 10 Aug 2016 11:21:18 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Thank you for your very supportive, kind response.

I'm still debating with myself about the 3 versus 4 units dilemma. Sorry, I think the term "census date" was a bit confusing. It does make one think of the Australian Census date (national survey) but I was referring to uni census dates, which are a tad different. So my uni census date isn't for another few-ish weeks 😊

Thanks again for the advice. I've some thinking to do now.

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Wed, 10 Aug 2016 12:53:55 GMT

Hi Sinking92,

It really helped that you shared your story. That must have been a very difficult, lonely time in your life. Depression can certainly hit really hard as it did/has in your case.

I'm just doing some reflecting at the moment and trying to figure out some sort of strategy that will (hopefully) help me.

Many thanks again 😊

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Wed, 10 Aug 2016 12:59:42 GMT

Hi Enju,

No worries at all 😊 No need to apologise- all is well.

Yeah, I agree with you that often the seemingly happiest faces can be the saddest people behind those smiles.

Its tough...juggling work and studies can be tricky at times indeed. Thanks for understanding!

New here. Dottie 😊

blondguy — Wed, 10 Aug 2016 14:15:42 GMT

Hi Dottie

you are a legend for posting in the forums and thankyou. There has been great advice above that is gold 🙂

I hope you are doing okay Dottie and I have read some of your posts and the help you have provided to people that have recently posted. It can be hard to sustain a smile when we feel otherwise...

My kind thoughts for you Dottie 🙂

Paulx

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Thu, 11 Aug 2016 06:43:14 GMT

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate your support a lot! Kind thoughts to you too 😊

New here. Dottie 😊

Cold_Mirror — Thu, 11 Aug 2016 09:13:18 GMT

I hope your week is going well, Dottie. ❤️

New here. Dottie 😊

Guest_322 — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 09:00:14 GMT

Hi Cold_Mirror,

Thanks for checking in on me 😊 My week has been a mixed bag. Up and down would be the best way to put it.

I was planning to do some uni work tonight but after spending most of the day at uni today, I've decided to give myself the night off. I've to admit that I feel a little guilty about it, but I wanted to have a "rest night."

I'm still figuring out how to (hopefully) do well academically this semester while taking care of my mental health at the same time. It feels like a delicate balance sometimes.

New here. Dottie 😊

blondguy — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 10:52:16 GMT

Hey Dottie

having a 'rest night' is you being 'kind' or 'gentle' to yourself and good on you 🙂

you deserve to indulge in your own well being Dottie

My Best to you. Paulx