topic trying my best but nothing is working in Young people

trying my best but nothing is working

motion_picture_soundtrack — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 03:46:38 GMT

i feel horribly trapped just being alive. i've had depression for nearly four years now and things are still getting worse no matter what i do.

my parents split in 2015. i moved out with my dad and not too long later i switched schools - both of which were really good things, my mum and i would fight every time we talked and i had bad problems with anxiety around schooling (which has improved a bit now i'm doing distance school) and that solved two of the major problems in my life, which i felt should've made me feel better but it didn't do anything for my depression, only anxiety.

i've made new friends, got a job, counselling, cbt, medication, art therapy, doing new things and trying to switch my life up, in general trying my damnedest to keep my head up but it doesn't work. i still feel horrible every day and everything i do gets harder and harder to pretend to be motivated for the more i dig myself into this hole of 'it's never getting better' but i don't feel like it is. if i dwell on it i start getting incredibly anxious and have had panic attacks over thinking about the fact that when i finally manage to get to sleep i'm going to be waking up to the exact same thing and feeling the exact same way as always and there's nothing i can do about it. i can't stand it and it takes away all my energy and just makes me feel like theres no point doing anything but staying in bed all day. every time anything remotely good happens that lightens me up it seems something bad immediately follows, it's like life is just out to get me and keep me from enjoying myself for even a day

i feel like maybe i'm not trying hard enough to be happy or it's teen angst or something that i'm making a bigger deal than necessary about but i can't deal with it anymore, i'm not one for crying but thinking about being alive in the state i'm in sends me into hysterics because i don't want to stay the way i am and i don't know what to do. not sure what i'm hoping to gain from this but any advice would be great because everything i try fails

trying my best but nothing is working

MarkJT — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 04:50:40 GMT

Hey motion picture soundtrack, no doubt you have a lot going on at the moment so lets break this down a bit.

With your anxiety, are you practicing mindfulness? This is a really good way to control anxiety. I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety in Feb 2013 and one of the first things i started doing was mindfulness. I use an app (there are heaps out there but i used Smiling Mind) daily until i got a really good hang of it. I now have my morning exercise and whilst stretching, listen to some fave music which really calms me. I was really edgy this morning but felt calm after the music and stretch. Well worth starting (if you are not already doing). It gives you the skills that if you feel an anxiety attack coming on, you can keep it at bay.

It is pretty clear by the things that you have done to improve your health. I think at times though we may try to hard, not saying that this is you but you certainly appear to going pretty hard at it. Recovery from mental health issues takes time. It is about taking it slowly at the start and then slowly progressing through until you are coping well. All of activities and treatments you are talking about, over what space of time?

Be careful not to think that you are relapsing after a bad day or two. They happen. I can appreciate that your bad day or two are actually a lot longer than that but unfortunately it is a nature that those recovering from mental health illnesses and injuries will have bad days. For the most part they are not relapses, just bad days. Learn to surf the waves of emotions coming in, accept that you are in a low mood and be kind to yourself.

Are actively seeing a psych? If the medication that you are on is not working like it should, it may be time for an increase in dosage or a different type. Now i am no way an expert in this area and this must be discussed with your GP and/or psych but that conversation would be a good one to have. I know a lot of people who are on medication and so many of them have changed to a different type.

You are trying hard enough, in fact i think you are trying more than a lot of other people but there are so many factors that come into recovery. Keep going - you will find a balance and things will get better.

Are you exercising? What is your diet like? Are you drinking alcohol? Are you maintaining your social circle?

All of these play their own part but all are important.

Look forward to hearing back from you to see if we can guide you through this.

Mark.

trying my best but nothing is working

motion_picture_soundtrack — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 05:10:00 GMT

mindfulness was the first thing introduced to me when i was diagnosed with social anxiety, but it never stuck as effective so i gave up trying a while ago. i'm pretty sure i'm not overtaxing myself, my schedule isn't exactly brimming - i only leave the house three-four days each week (less if i don't have a shift at work), and these are things i've been trying over the past four years. i know bad days happen if it was just a bad few days i wouldn't be posting here but i've been feeling even worse than usual consistently since before new years, and yeah i'm actively seeing a psych and trying a change in dosage as of last week. i exercise twice a week, i don't drink and i definitely don't eat enough or healthily (which is a bad habit, i forget to eat a lot and when i do it's often crap so i'm trying to fix that too) and i don't really have a social circle. my schooling is online and i'm not a very social person, i've only got a few friends and we don't talk much. i'll try to pick mindfulness back up

trying my best but nothing is working

Monkeynuts — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 05:27:51 GMT

Hi Motion Picture Soundtrack,

Like Mark said, Mindfulness is a skill that takes some practise before it becomes second nature - but the effort is worth it! Also, remember that if you have just had a change in dosage your medication will take time to kick in, so be kind to yourself while you medication takes effect.

In these situations, it's good to remember the things we CAN mak positive in our day. I remember some days for me guess what it was. I made the bed every day for a week. Yup. I stuck to it and at the week I at least felt an achievement there was something in my life I could do. And then I added something else that I knew I could stick to. Walk around the block. Make a salad for dinner. Fold your socks. Even something that small can give you a feeling that you did SOMETHING positive and keep your brain away from the thoughts that are making you feel unhappy.

trying my best but nothing is working

MarkJT — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 09:17:37 GMT

motion picture soundtrack, you sound like you are doing a lot which is great to hear. Please stick with it and as Monkeynuts says above, the mindfulness will come. It is really about practice and practice and practice. Also with the meds, it is spot on above. Let them settle in and see how you go.

With your diet, breaking the cycle of eating crap food is really hard and i certainly haven't broken mine as yet. I eat a lot better but still room for plenty of improvement. Can you get a meal plan? or make a heap of meals in one go and freeze them? That way (if you are like me and cannot be bothered making it) you don't have to worry about making it as it is already there.

There is a thread called, "No more zero days" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/no-more-zero-days. What Monkeynuts is talking about above is pretty close to this. It is about achieving one thing throughout the day. I love how he made his bed for a week in a row, set a goal and achieved it. Is there something you can do, just a small thing for those days that you are not working.

You clearly have really good insight into your own health and well being. You know what to do and are doing a lot of it, we just need to work on a couple more and then see where that takes us, especially after the new meds have settled in.

Thanks for posting back and feel free to ask more if you want.

Mark.