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    <title>topic Re: Do you second guess all your choices and decisions.9 in Long-term support over the journey</title>
    <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/559262#M91042</link>
    <description>&lt;P&gt;Hi Quirky,&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Wish I knew too!&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I've had one such just recently, about a support co-ordinator. Their email was so poorly written, I felt no confidence in them. After I met him, I feel better.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I've made some horrible decisions in my life. Fortunately, not dire.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I managed to get myself out of those situations, somehow. That's reassuring, now, to know I have been able to make the decisions that got me out &amp;amp; into a safer place.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;The really good decisions I've made have not been quick. I am aware there is a process going on, sometimes it seems in the background of my mind, sometimes I am consciously reasoning my way to a decision. I might list 'pros' &amp;amp; 'cons'.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Also, now, I am thinking more about what is in my best interest. I have got to be clear on that, because I've neglected my needs for so long.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;If I had kids in my care, I'd still have to think of me, because if I don't care for myself, how can I care for them?&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I think there are times when what's in the best interest of a child must come first. I may suffer as a result of making a decision which is best for a child. I accept that, without reservation.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Because I don't have kids, I can't say at what age a child is no longer a child in my eyes, &amp;amp; when they are to understand they are responsible for their own decisions.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I still have to learn what I'm responsible for, as opposed to what another adult is responsible for. My decisions don't have to accomodate their needs - just mine.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;We can only make decision based on the information we have. If you can ask lots of questions &amp;amp; gather more info you can make better decisions.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Since I can't become an expert in everything, I hope I can find someone who is, &amp;amp; ask them my questions. This is mostly about what things I want to buy, like deciding which Elliptical Cross Trainer to get, or a new computer system &amp;amp; accessories to go with it. This could easily apply to other purchases, of services, for example.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Now, decisions about interpersonal relationships - I'm not on firm ground here at all. I only know I've worked out what some of the "absolutely no you don't" boundaries, &amp;amp; then no real decision needs be made, because I know then, I'm out of there asap! &amp;amp; no going back, either.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I'm thinking, if I have to 'tolerate' something, because 'they are so good most of the time', is that really in my best interest?&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Want more?&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;mmMekitty&lt;/P&gt;</description>
    <pubDate>Sat, 18 Feb 2023 08:11:20 GMT</pubDate>
    <dc:creator>mmMekitty</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2023-02-18T08:11:20Z</dc:date>
    <item>
      <title>Do you second guess all your choices and decisions.9</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/558870#M91022</link>
      <description>&lt;P&gt;I find I second guess all my decisions as I seem to have lost my confidence.&amp;nbsp;&lt;BR /&gt;if you can make decisions easily&amp;nbsp;&lt;SPAN&gt;how do you do it.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;In my past I have made many poor decisions so I now second guess each one.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Sun, 12 Feb 2023 07:44:18 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/558870#M91022</guid>
      <dc:creator>quirkywords</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2023-02-12T07:44:18Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Do you second guess all your choices and decisions.9</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/559262#M91042</link>
      <description>&lt;P&gt;Hi Quirky,&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Wish I knew too!&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I've had one such just recently, about a support co-ordinator. Their email was so poorly written, I felt no confidence in them. After I met him, I feel better.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I've made some horrible decisions in my life. Fortunately, not dire.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I managed to get myself out of those situations, somehow. That's reassuring, now, to know I have been able to make the decisions that got me out &amp;amp; into a safer place.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;The really good decisions I've made have not been quick. I am aware there is a process going on, sometimes it seems in the background of my mind, sometimes I am consciously reasoning my way to a decision. I might list 'pros' &amp;amp; 'cons'.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Also, now, I am thinking more about what is in my best interest. I have got to be clear on that, because I've neglected my needs for so long.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;If I had kids in my care, I'd still have to think of me, because if I don't care for myself, how can I care for them?&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I think there are times when what's in the best interest of a child must come first. I may suffer as a result of making a decision which is best for a child. I accept that, without reservation.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Because I don't have kids, I can't say at what age a child is no longer a child in my eyes, &amp;amp; when they are to understand they are responsible for their own decisions.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I still have to learn what I'm responsible for, as opposed to what another adult is responsible for. My decisions don't have to accomodate their needs - just mine.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;We can only make decision based on the information we have. If you can ask lots of questions &amp;amp; gather more info you can make better decisions.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Since I can't become an expert in everything, I hope I can find someone who is, &amp;amp; ask them my questions. This is mostly about what things I want to buy, like deciding which Elliptical Cross Trainer to get, or a new computer system &amp;amp; accessories to go with it. This could easily apply to other purchases, of services, for example.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Now, decisions about interpersonal relationships - I'm not on firm ground here at all. I only know I've worked out what some of the "absolutely no you don't" boundaries, &amp;amp; then no real decision needs be made, because I know then, I'm out of there asap! &amp;amp; no going back, either.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I'm thinking, if I have to 'tolerate' something, because 'they are so good most of the time', is that really in my best interest?&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Want more?&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;mmMekitty&lt;/P&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 18 Feb 2023 08:11:20 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/559262#M91042</guid>
      <dc:creator>mmMekitty</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2023-02-18T08:11:20Z</dc:date>
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    <item>
      <title>Re: Do you second guess all your choices and decisions.9</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/559279#M91043</link>
      <description>&lt;P&gt;Hello Dear Quirky, mmMeKitty, readers/posters…&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;I also second guess just about every decision I make…it’s hard isn’t it…and very stressful trying to make the better decision…&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Hugs,&lt;/P&gt;&lt;P&gt;Grandy..&lt;/P&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 18 Feb 2023 10:29:05 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/559279#M91043</guid>
      <dc:creator>Ggrand</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2023-02-18T10:29:05Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Do you second guess all your choices and decisions.9</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/559623#M91063</link>
      <description>&lt;P&gt;Grandy.&amp;nbsp;&lt;BR /&gt;Isn’t it hard to make decisions when you second guess every discussion.&amp;nbsp;&lt;BR /&gt;Can you make a decision when you feel confident.&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;/P&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 Feb 2023 11:14:59 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/long-term-support-over-the/do-you-second-guess-all-your-choices-and-decisions-9/m-p/559623#M91063</guid>
      <dc:creator>quirkywords</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2023-02-23T11:14:59Z</dc:date>
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