topic Challenging unhelpful thoughts in Long-term support over the journey

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Doolhof — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 06:46:21 GMT

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Guest_1055 — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 07:07:23 GMT

Oh Mrs D, I was wondering where you were..... I am really sorry you are in this at the moment. It sucks and I long to jump and stamp on all these feelings you are experiencing right this minute. Am I understanding you correctly?? Are are feeling angry? If so .....can you shout it out or punch and punch on your pillow? I will even do it on your behalf, because I cannot stand the thought of you struggling so or hurting.

Shell xx

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Lonelydan — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 07:23:23 GMT

Hi mrs,D. I'm feeling sad knowing how you're going. your message to me when I Lost my friend meant so much to me to know that someone cared to respond to a stranger. So know I want you to know that I'm thinking about you I care about you this world needs women like you in it. You are loved and appreciated by so many on here I just wanted you to know that. Lonelydan...

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

White_Rose — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 07:35:18 GMT

Oh my poor dear. I hadn't realised you were in so much pain. I wish I had known earlier. I did know you were unwell but not to this extent.

Unhelpful thoughts indeed. I would like to push their unhelpful thoughts down their throats. Is this on a par with 'think positively'? I had this from one person who thought she was being so helpful. Does no one realise that if that was all we needed to do there would be no depression in the world. Stupid, insensitive, thoughtless 'People'. Please feel free to add your own noun.

So go and eat all the Tim Tams, mud cake and Mars bars you want. Not long ago I ate half a box of ice cream because I was so frustrated. Then I ate the other half a couple of days later. I did feel sick afterwards. Can you find another daisy bush to destroy?

Giving up is a seductive option, so many of us have been there. We know it's not right but then knowing what's right and doing it can be two different things. So please hold on my dear. The world would be so much poorer without you. I know next Friday feels as though it may as well be next year but it will come and I so much hope this person has some answers and help for you.

It's only in this sort of crisis that we realise how much rural Australia misses out on all kinds of services. I wish I could be with you and comfort you. Please talk to me.

Mary

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Guest_322 — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 08:21:56 GMT

Oh Mrs D.,

Yes, let's call a spade a spade. No sugar coating with phrases like "unhelpful thoughts."

If you feel horrible, you feel horrible. If you're absolutely shattered, you're absolutely shattered. If you feel like completely and utterly exhausted, you feel completely and utterly exhausted. Sometimes life just throws bricks at you and you have to duck. It's tough.

That hospital does sound very ill equiped to help anyone with MH struggles. What a disappointing, demeaning experience you had there.

I love the feisty attitude to keep fighting despite the siren call to give in. You can do this.

I'm with Mary on the whole inhaling chocolate in all its glorious variations or destroying a daisy bush. Scream into a pillow, tear up paper and junk mail, turn up the music, stomp around the house, paint your furniture red- do what you need to do to get through this. You got this. You can fight this.

Dottie xxx

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

gld — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 08:38:24 GMT

Hi Doolhof,

You are going through a challenging time at present and it is great to read that you are accessing supports with helplines, hospital, psychologist and here. In your post you say you are putting up a fight by giving yourself things to do other than letting the depression take all the control in your day to day. Keep up the good fight.

Words/ terms are not going to mean the same for everyone and it is ok to express your feelings as well as your emotions. Depression has got the power to lower our energy levels and it is important for us to acknowledge it so we gain the upper hand. It is a beast that lays low and shows its head from time to time which has no timeline to lay low again, so i hold onto hope that moving forward has the power to improve each day.

I feel concerned that things could be becoming overwhelming for you so keep on looking after yourself by gaining the supports you need.

Gen

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Doolhof — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 11:47:02 GMT

HI Everyone,

Thanks for your responses.

I really do feel like I am struggling to hold on, that I am going under with little strength left to even float for a while. The feeling of being totally overwhelmed is growing immense.

Putting one foot in front of the other is struggle.

The fantastic thing is that, just by reading the replies I have received here from fellow friends on the journey of mental health hassles, I have felt the most support, care and understanding from anyone I have encountered these last three weeks.

People have asked me to promise I will not do anything drastic. I want the pain to stop, but not that badly.

People keep telling me this won't last forever. I've told other people the same thing.

I called the Rural Mental Health people again. They suggested I return to the hospital...

I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall and screaming out for help but no one in mental health in our region gives a shit. Hopefully the psychologist next week will be helpful;.

I need to make it to next week.

This sure is a crap post hey !

So what are you all planning to do over the next couple of days? Anyone have suggestions for some comedy movies to watch or funny clips on the web? I could do with a laugh.

Cheers all from Mrs. D

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

blondguy — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 14:02:55 GMT

Dear Mrs Dools

You have never written a crap post on here including this one.

You have provided so much quality care to so many including me too (and thankyou)

Please dont 'fight' this awful depression right now.....fighting these feelings will only increase them

Make the depression weak...'accept' and 'go with it'...please

Here for you

Paulxo

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Just Sara — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 14:36:42 GMT

Dear Mrs D;

I'm very concerned for your MH and well being in general. I know people have tried to help with avoidance tactics, but in my experience, I would urge you to call the Mental Health Hotline again.

Please also go to the hospital or call an ambulance. Even if you thought they didn't handle it too well before, it's better to have guidance and observation from qualified people at this stage of your process than to try and cope on your own.

I've left a msg for you on ProBoards. Please look me up ok?! I can help.

Take any medication suitable to calm your mind until help arrives. The sugar in sweets/chocolate may increase confusion and down moods once they wear off. Good quality 'real' food with (slow working) carbohydrates and a little protein will work better for sleep and the long term.

Be kind and gentle with yourself, even if it hurts like hell.

Sara xo

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

white knight — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 14:38:52 GMT

Hi Mrs Dools

Sometimes, we lose track of the very theories we ourselves promote...thats an indication of the severity of the depression.

So, we must allow the deptession to move around its cycle as Paul suggested, before we can move forward.

Faith. Faith that you will be ok, that your psin will subside and you'll be alright.

Calm. Dedpetation is your enemy. Relax.

We all love you.

Tony WK

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

geoff — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:31:00 GMT

dear Mrs Doolhof, I wish I could offer you the magic cure, but even if there was one, it may not suit you, because everyone is different and they have their own thoughts which are paralysing only them and that's the annoying part to depression.
There maybe movies we can provide which will make you smile and laugh, that would be really good, but deep down it won't stop all those awful feelings and thoughts that continually torment and harass you.
You can't blame yourself for feeling the way you do, because what depression does is that it knows everything about everybody so it can pinpoint any specific detail just to mess with your brain, so it lingers around until you are strong enough to stomp it out of your life, but until that happens it's outside of your control, but you aren't alone, because the list of people responding has been enormous, because we love you, as an attachment develops between all of us.
You have to take it day by day and remember that although you are struggling like hell, you have so many people who would do anything they could to help you get over this hump, but please don't punish yourself, because if you do then you will only feel worse,and remember when you see the psychologist you may forget something, so do as we have often say to many other people to write down all your thoughts, even though it's going to be painful, I think it needs to be done. Love Geoff. xx

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Doolhof — Sat, 18 Feb 2017 23:48:35 GMT

I understand where you are all coming from.

I am just so exhausted, confused, tormented and struggling.

I know I need help. I don't feel like there was any in the hospital apart from medication, food and a bed.

Gotta go. Crying too much I can't hardly see the key board.

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Guest_1055 — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 07:23:35 GMT

Dear Mrs D,

Your crying has been heard by me. And I just want to put my arms around you.

Here is a gentle song that I hope will reach into your very soul.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SqBMNSuDf7g

If you would like to listen to it, I am pretty sure you just highlight the above link, then copy and paste it into your internet browser.

It is called: The hurt and the Healer, by Mercy Me.

Just know I am thinking of you, and you are not alone even though it may feel like it.

Shell xx

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

gld — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 08:08:53 GMT

Hi Doolhof,

You mention watching a movie/clips with a funny side to have a laugh. Three australian movies that come to mind, The Castle, The Man Who Sued God and Kenny and an New Zealand one, Hunt For The Wilderpeople. I am not known for my humour but these have made me chuckle as well as shed a tear.

Good clips i enjoy seem to be, Monty Python or pommy comedy and it never seems to miss is Tim Minchin.

Holding on to hope there is something here to give you a giggle.

Gen [Hugs]

I feel concerned for you if you struggle too long with these emotions as there are supports out there to connect with as you need. 24/7 ph 1300 22 4636

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Guest_322 — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 08:30:40 GMT

Hi Mrs D.,

Saying hi, offering a hug and as for funny suggestions, I'm personally a huge fan of SNL (Saturday Night Live) , which you can find on YouTube. They do sketches on a whole range of things including politics, tv shows, social commentary, etc.

On a more serious note, I realise you're hurting immensely. I honestly can't offer very much but some (more) virtual hugs and to say hang in there.

Dottie x

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

topsy_ — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 08:42:56 GMT

Hi Mrs D

I can't add anything to all the advice above but I can add my love & best wishes. You've given so much to people on BB. Now we are all behind you.

Just take care not to hang on too long before getting help, even if it's not exactly the help you'd like. I remember a time I felt like crossed a "trip wire" after which all rational thought was gone. In the long run, it's much better to ask for help before you get to the wire..

Youre in my thoughts & prayers, Lyn.

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Elizabeth CP — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 09:53:27 GMT

Sorry I didn't reply earlier. I read your initial post yesterday but was too tired to reply but kept thinking of you and wanting to help. You mentioned wanting to eat tons of tim tams etc. I can relate to that but also know first hand how bad that feels after. Feeling physically sick on top of feeling even more out of control is not worth it. One thing I found helped me was eating some nice fruit & yogurt & I would make myself cocoa with skim milk & artificial sweetener. Savouring the sweet delicious tastes helped dull the cravings for junk & left me feeling better physically & mentally. Choose whatever you think will taste good to you without being relatively healthy.

I know you mentioned wanting to get back to exercise slowly. That is a great idea. It is important to set really small achievable goals for each day & slowly build up. If you had just come out of hospital following heart surgery you would need to take things easy slowly increasing the amount of physical activity. Doing too much would risk causing further problems. The same principle applies to you. You have returned home to recover from your illness. Don't compare what you are doing now to before because that is unfair. When I was struggling to recover from an ankle injury I started walking VERY short distances I knew I could manage easily. & increased it each day. Succeeding really helped me feel motivated so it helped me physically & mentally whereas before I'd tried to do more but failed leaving me feeling really down.

I wish I could give you a great suggestion to take away the pain you are going through but I can't but I want you to know that I care. I hope these suggestions I've made can help a little. You seem to enjoy gardening usually. Perhaps you can try starting with 5 minutes working on one little task and then take a break while reminding yourself that you did something good.

I hope you start to feel better soon

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

MisterM — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 10:42:43 GMT

Hey Doolhof,

Not sure what to say but I wish you all the best and hope this passes soon for you.
Hang in there please.

MM.

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Doolhof — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 21:08:40 GMT

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all of your messages. They have helped me immensely. Your kind words and encouragement have made me realise that that even though I am going through this really horrid time there is still hope when to me I felt like there was none.

My Dr. has put me on a new anti depressant, I realise it will take a while to kick in and will have no idea how effective it will be just yet. He also gave me some anti psychotics that send me to sleep for hours or turn me into a zombie where I just sit on the lounge and drool! Well maybe not drool, I do have tissues.

I was also given a box of pills called "Mother's little helper" in the 60s and 70s. Yesterday I took a couple of those, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. They certainly took the edge off my pain. I need to tell myself these pills are okay for now, they must be as that is what they were giving me in hospital and my Dr. gave me a script for them.

Thanks for the suggestions of the comical relief. I will check some of them out. I do like The Castle and watched the Kiwi movie that was mentioned recently.

The garden does seem to be my "safe" place and is calming except for when the neighbours dog barks for hours on end. The poor thing is bored and has little room to run around. We have offered to take their dog for a walk and let it in our garden while I am out there, but they declined.

Thanks to Mother's Little Helpers, I am a lot calmer. The tears are still there just not as distressful.

I appreciate all the words of kindness and the hugs, means so much to me.

I have been using the phone help lines as well. I have a list of numbers near the house phone. Mobile phones don't work in our area!

Today is going to be a better day! Yesterday was a lot better than Saturday! That is a bonus.

Huge hugs of thanks to you all, from Mrs. Dools

Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Guest_322 — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 21:42:20 GMT

Hi Mrs D.,

I'm relieved to hear you sounding more settled and less distraught.

You sound like you're making the most of the resources and assistance available to you.

I'm glad things started looking up on Sunday- may that continue today. Maybe spend some more time in your "safe place" (your garden) as you clearly benefit from being there.

Dottie x