topic I just don't know anymore in Long-term support over the journey

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 02:31:32 GMT

I have been reading many threads, which makes me feel not so alone. I've had depression for 30 yrs. the last 5yrs have been chronic, that's why I'm in a nursing home.( no where else to go) I could not look after myself anymore. I have lost (commission unit)my unit my car and my baby dog. After many shock treatments, I am on medication which is keeping stable. I just don't have a life anymore. So alone. (Have lost my friends as I was out of action. I'm sure u guys can relate. I struggle with society that they just don't get it, what do we have to do to let them know this is REAL.( as if one could pretend with this illness) I don't think so!!! I really don't have a life

anymore. Being in a nursing home does not help cause when I leave my room I see so many older people around. It does not help my depression at all. That's all for now.thank you for ur time, looking forward to some replies.

my thread name is chrissy1 which some of you may have seen.

chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

quirkywords — Mon, 15 Jan 2018 05:26:49 GMT

Hi Chrissy 1,

I was going to say welcome to the forum but I can see you have made a few post. So welcome to this thread.

I am sorry you are in a nursing home but pleased your treatments are keeping you stable.

It is sad that some people don't understand what you are going through.

I see you as brave as you have struggled for so long. Are there any people in the nursing home you can talk to regardless of their age.

Do you have family who visit or you can visit.?

Thanks again for starting this thread.

Quirky

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Wed, 17 Jan 2018 07:10:31 GMT

Hi quirky,

thanks for ur reply. I am blessed I have a daughter she is my angel. She comes once or twice a week. I do talk to some girls, but they don't have the time. I try to go to the shops, but I really struggle to go. Everything is too hard. I'm just over it.

take care

chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

Ggrand — Wed, 17 Jan 2018 11:20:40 GMT

Hello Chrissy,

I am so sorry your MH has caused you to be in a nursing home, but I also like Quirky am pleased you are now stabilised with your medication,

Your daughter really does sound like and Angel, coming to visit you once or twice a week, that is something special to look forward to.

I was wondering if your nursing home has weekly outing, bingo etc.

Please keep talking here I would really like to get to know you better plus you can talk about anything here it your thread now. I also struggle with anxiety and it's so hard for me to even do the weekly shopping. I live alone and well my anxiety stops me from making friends,

I do most of my talking in here, The people here are so friendly and helpful and I've come to care about them a lot.

Pleases keep posting, if you want to. Im here most days, some days I might be struggling with my depression and not on much but I still try to get in here most days .

Its been a real pleasure to get to know and help support you if I can,

kind thoughts

Grandy

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 00:54:53 GMT

Hi Ggrand,

thanks for your reply, so great to hear from you.

there are some activities, but I just can't bring myself to go. It affects my depression, I feel worse. I'm my own worst enemy. What are ur days like?

daughter just arrived have to go talk soon

take care

chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

Ggrand — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 01:18:47 GMT

Hello Chrissy,

I will leave to to your wonderful daughter, I really hope you both have a beautiful day. It makes me feel good for you today, enjoy and be kind to you.

Will talk later when you are free and feel like it. I'm really looking forward from hearing back from you.

Kind thought

Grandy

I just don't know anymore

Ggrand — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 12:07:39 GMT

Hello Chrissy,

I'm just popping in to say hello, I hope you had a lovely day with your daughter,

My days are sad and lonely, but I try to keep myself busy, I've learnt by a lot of the people who are supporting me that when I feel sad and my thoughts are not good ones, to find something I like to distract me from them.

I found some jig saw puzzles, scrabble, solitaire and a few more games that I can at time like to play on my iPad. I don't go outside much for a few years now, but one person from my Mental Health Support Team have come out twice this week to take me for walks. There trying to build my confidence up so I can do it alone, I had an agreement by participating in the walks I stay out of hospital. I decided walk are the better bet.

if you don't mind me asking you, what type of activities do they have there?. Is it anxiety/depression that stops you from going?

Always be kind to your self, and well I'm not on here all day but I do pop in a lot through the day and night. Your probably asleep now. I'm wishing you a really peaceful sleep. 💤💤🦋

If you want to talk I'm here for you.

Kindness only.

Grandy.

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Mon, 22 Jan 2018 00:34:48 GMT

To chrissy1

hi quirky and grand

my internet is playing up will talk asap

chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

Ggrand — Mon, 22 Jan 2018 09:03:25 GMT

Hello Chrissy,

I live in rural NSW and have a lot of internet connection problems which is really very frustrating, I know how your feeling. I hope it gets fixed soon, I'll be here when it does, I'm not going anywhere.

I worked in a nursing home once, I only lasted a few months, I was one of the kitchen hands, my job was to deliver the food to the residents, then collect them all again when dinner was over then wash them up. I liked the job because I loved talking to the residents, I kept getting into trouble by management because I would talk to the residents and everything got late, after a few months I was asked to leave. I still continued to visit the residents that never had visitors.

That was before I got sick with my Mental Health, which has robbed me of talking face too face to people, but I'm working on that with my mental health care team.

I hope you had a nice time with your daughter, will she be coming in again this week to take you out for the day?

Chrissy, I know it's not the same as being there to talk to you, but I really would like to get to know you better and help support you. You sounded so sad in your first post, my heart went out to you. I really would like to be your friend and help you in your loneliness if that's ok.

Kind thoughts only,

Grandy

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 00:49:31 GMT

Hi Hi there. Quirky and grand
Hi there. Quirky

To chrissy1

hi grand

great hearing from u. I really would like us to become pen pals, that would be good. How long have u had mental health problems for. Are U male/female and how old u are I'm still having problems with Internet. Not getting signal. So every time I write it cancels my post I don't have a computer I have an iPad. U sound abit like me sad and lonely it's the pits, we are having a hot spell Im not a heat lover., how about u. Where do u live?

hoping this goes to u

take care

chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 00:53:31 GMT

Hi there. Quirky and grand

So glad to hear from you both that's so great. This is my third post to you, the Internet keeps shutting down my posts, so frustrating . I have to really force my self to go to shops, it's so hard. What are ur days like? I live in Melbourne. Just struggling abit to write. Also my memory is not so good due to ECT. I will do my best. It's 42 today too hot. I don't like the heat. I'm lucky I have my own air conditioning which is great, also heating in the winter. That's all for now

Take care
chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

Ggrand — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 06:31:08 GMT

Hello Chrissy.,

I sent a reply a few hours ago and it hasn't come through as yet. If it's not here in a couple of more hours I will write a different one, because I don't remember everything I said on the other reply.

kind thoughts,

Grandy.

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 07:22:05 GMT

I just don't know anymore

Ggrand — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 22:23:05 GMT

Hello Chrissy,

I can relate to your internet problems vey well, I had the same trouble at one time a couple of years back, I ended up changing providers and it's not as bad now, it's because of my location.

i was just wondering,when you go to the shops, do you take public transport or does the nursing home provide there own bus for the residents.?

I'm like I don't like the heat, I'm so pleased you have an air conditioner in your room to help cool things down for you, I have one in my loungeroom.

Take your time in answering, I'm not going any where, I'm a little slow atm for replies but I'm getting there, I'm trying to find something to do through the days, but unsure where my interests lay. do you do anything through your day like hobbies.

You said earlier on that your daughter comes to see you once or twice a week, that is so nice, I hope this week when she comes you both have a wonderful time.

Take care of yourself,

Kind thoughts,

Grandy.

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 01:57:06 GMT

Hi grand,
The shops are 5min walk away, but I still struggle. It's ridiculous. I found u on thread ( sad and lonely ) and got to know u better. I'm so sorry you are or was in that place I do know what u mean. It's so horrible.
My daughter has not been to see much as kids on holidays. I'm gong to the shops on Wednesday to get my nails done, I go once a month. Would love to be ur pen pal if ur up to it. I'll try again?
Take care x
chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

Ggrand — Wed, 31 Jan 2018 09:59:10 GMT

Hello Chrissy,

I did reply earlier but it seems to have gone into the computer world, lost forever,

How have you been feeling these last few days, School holidays would make it busy for your daughter, how many grandchildren do you have? If that's ok, only if you want to tell me,

Sometimes it would be hard to go to the shops even if it is only 5 minutes away, especially in this heat, that's no nice your getting your nails done, I got mine done a few times but I couldn't get used to them,

Sadness with depression/anxiety is hard to manage, especially with loneliness, I hope I can add a little light into your life so you are less lonely, you are such a gentle person, I'm just curious are you or have you had counciling before for your depression.

When is your daughter coming to take you shopping next, I can imagine how excited you would be to see her again.

Good night my special lady, I hope you sleep well, I will be here for a while yet if you post back, I should see it.

Kindness only,

Grandy.

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Thu, 01 Feb 2018 00:51:30 GMT

Hi there,

got ur post,so nice to hear from u,

my grandkids are boy "Alexi, 14yrs old and girl "Sian 11. Because of this illness I'm not so close. My then son in law did not understand, so I was put on the outer by him. That hurt as I was unable to be a normal grandmother eg. Could not look after them in his eyes. How are u at present? What have u been up too? The nursing home have updated wi fi so I'm hoping all will be okay now, fingers crossed.

take care x

chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

Ggrand — Thu, 01 Feb 2018 01:34:25 GMT

Hello Chrissy,

Its good to hear from you as well, and good the wi fi has been fixed.

I have 13 grandchildren, but sadly I only see one regularly my grandson 9 yrs old, I have 3 sons, but only the youngest comes to visit every three months or so. I live 7-8 hours drive from my 3 sons. The other 2 are so caught up in their lives that they forget they have a mum I think.

That was not a nice thing at all what your then son in law done. Some people just don't understand MH struggles I think because they don't understand that they underestimate our abilities and worth. I'm really sorry about what he done.

How did you go on Wednesday, did you get your nails done,? What colour did you select?

Im so pleased about today's cooler weather. Makes easier sleeping.

Take care , kind thoughts for you,

Grandy.

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Thu, 01 Feb 2018 23:23:21 GMT

Hi there
wow 13grandchildren, it's sad u don't see the family much.
i think this is the Is the time we need them more. My nails are blue, I'm abit daring,why not. U were right about my son in law,thinking I'm hopeless, no idea, and didn't want to know either. My daughter has separated from him. It's about six month now, I know she will be better off in the long run. I never used to see her smile. She only stayed with him because of the kids. I just want to see her actually smiling,, she so deserves to be happy. it's a lot cooler for now it's great. What does ur day consist of?
take care x
chrissy1

I just don't know anymore

chrissy1 — Mon, 05 Feb 2018 00:49:08 GMT

Hi there,

i do hope ur ok.please let me know.

take care x

chrissy1