topic Purple in Long-term support over the journey

Purple

Purple lady — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 01:03:28 GMT

Was recommended to start my own thread so here it is. The gist of it is I am unhappy, unmotivated and don't enjoy or look forward to anything. Am always tired and hate my life!

Purple

Ggrand — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 03:48:15 GMT

Hi Purple,

Welcome to Beyond Blue Forums, you will find a lot of people will reach out and take your hand,

I found you, yay.

I feel sad that you hate your life,

Do/ did you have any hobbies that you like doing?

Do you have a pet?

Feeling sad, unmotivated and tired make us feel terrible, When you feel up to it and only if you want to maybe you can let us know why you feel the way you do.

Or we can just talk about anything you feel to talk about, this is your thread, to talk about what you feel to talk about,

kindness only

Karen.

Purple

quirkywords — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 04:50:39 GMT

Purple,

I love your name, it is my favourite colour.

Welcome again. this is a supportive , friendly, caring and nonjudgmental place.

I am sorry you are feeling, sad and motivated. How long have you felt like this for?

Have you spoken to your doctor?

If you feel like it, I would like to hear more from you. AS Karen, said, this is your thread so you can talk about what you like.

Welcome again.

Quirky

Purple

Purple lady — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 05:54:33 GMT

just think there should be more to living than feeling sad, unmotivated, tired and lonely. I often wonder why I should get out of bed

Purple

Ggrand — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:50:13 GMT

Hello Purple, sorry I took so long to reply but I'm struggling a lot today.

we need to get up everyday get dressed and set a routine to start our day.. it's important to do this. If we stay in bed all day our sadness gets worse. We seem to dwell on our sadness. When we get up, get dressed, make the bed etc, we are no longer focusing on our sadness but on the jobs we are doing. This is called distraction.

We need to implement distraction throughout our day , and concentrate fully on the task we're doing. The brain can only think one thought at a time, so if we are cleaning up our bedroom, we think about what we are doing, you know feel the objects your dusting look at them, feel them, the texture etc: really concentrate 100% on what your doing. "Mindfulness" It helps give your mind a rest from thinking of your sadness.

Loneliness is hard, I'm really lonely at times and it really drags us down. I'm looking for games to do on my iPad to keep my mind from loneliness. There's a great jig saw app I found yesterday it's not hard but keeps the mind busy..

Try to be kind to yourself honey..

Kindness only.

Karen

Purple

Purple lady — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 22:37:52 GMT

How do you be so lovely when you're struggling? Do you know if you can get together with beyond blue members?

Purple

Ggrand — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 23:01:10 GMT

Hello Purple,

I have been on the wrong end of sexual,physical,mental and emotional abuse for over 50 years. I know what it feels like for someone not to be kind, for people to be mean and hurtful. ..I am not one of those people...I am damaged beyond repair, psych are trying but I don't think they will succeed.

The people who have stepped up here to help me, talk to me, at BB, has helped me so much, my gratitude for them goes way beyond what they will ever know..

I struggle daily, I think I always will, but, that's no reason not to be kind and helpful to others.

I don't or better word can't talk to people face to face, but here behind an iPad I can talk, try to help those that need help and support.

I am unhappy, but not unfriendly, I'm depressed, but try to function and help myself by helping others who are depressed. I am tired, but I keep going.

I hate my life, but it is my life and I want to try and make that a better life, if I don't succeed, at least I know I tried. I want to try and help others like themselves even if I never will.

I think you can get together, but I'm not sure of that, you can email them and find out.

Purple, we have to try and help ourselves, psychs, Drs,can put the want seed in us, but we have to nurture it and want to make it grow.

Kindness only.

Karen.

Purple

Purple lady — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 23:12:17 GMT

Ggrand

What do you do with yourself all day, do you have friends or family?

Purple

Ggrand — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 23:32:13 GMT

Hi Purple,

My sons live over a 7 hour drive, I don't see them much, it's complicated, friends, no, I do mostly talk by phone to one lady in town here, and another one in the next town. Occasionally they will come over mine for a cuppa, but that's rare now. We were very close before MI found me, It's me not them that stopped the visits..but they have stuck by me and I love them heaps,

Through the day, now that's really hard, I have triggers with just about anything I do. So that's a hard one, if I'm crying well I think, I'm already crying so I'll try do housework. If I wake up not so bad I find things like internet games, BB forums,

What keeps you busy through the day.

Karen

Purple

Purple lady — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 23:48:09 GMT

Very little. I am not happy so find it very hard to motivate myself. I know what I should be doing but nothing seems to make me feel good. What is MI and do you live alone?

Purple

Ggrand — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 00:05:17 GMT

Hi Purple,

MI. Mental Illness,

Yes I live alone now for 4 years. I managed the first 2 years not to badly, I leased the take way shop here in town which also had the post office, groceries and burgers etc. I was stupid, looked at the wrong bookwork. From the first week I was loosing, after 12 months I put it up for a new lease, didn't get any interest, sold my home in the next town, bought a cheaper one here, shut the shop and copped a whole lot of abuse from the towns people here for closing it..lol they never used it anyway, so what was there problem...That I accepted as my mistake, but the constant stream of people coming to my home and going off at me, fuelled my already dark mind to the point that I decided I wanted out.

The best way for you is when the sadness hits you, the sad thoughts, well try and do something, even if you don't want to, by doing something it takes your sad thoughts away as your concentrating on doing something. Could be here on BB, games, jig saws, word games on iPad.

Anything is worth a try to better the way we feel.

Karen

Purple

Purple lady — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 00:29:52 GMT

You are very interesting. It would be so nice to call you my friend. It is good to chat with you. How do you gain money to survive? This is a huge problem for me

Purple

Ggrand — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 01:01:45 GMT

Hi Purple,

Im on New Start Payments, So not enough to live on. By the time Rates,bills,insurance,rego, etc are taken out, not much left for food, but I'm a survivor, Food doesn't interest me, as long as I eat something, im ok.

I have to put a day a week for volunteer work, luckily out here Vinnies is accepted as that day. If I didn't get the day at Vinnies it would have been the arboretum. Lol couldn't imagine me pulling weeds, planting trees etc. Ok to get down, but no way would I get back up,

Hard to survive on Centrelink payments, but I'm not complaining I'm grateful for the payment they give me every fortnight.

What about you, do you work?

Karen

Purple

Purple lady — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 01:34:44 GMT

6 hours a week but I need more to survive. Am looking for work but it's hard and I hate starting new jobs. Why do you not socialize more or do you not want to?

Purple

Ggrand — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 01:55:24 GMT

I am uncomfortable around people, I have developed a fear of people. A fear of leaving my home, I'm working on it but not succeeding as yet..I am supposed to do a day ( Tuesdays) at Vinnies, I haven't been there in over 5 weeks now. I will be in trouble but atm I really don't care..When I go to Vinnies everything I need to do I will do on that day..then when I get home I can breathe better again, then I'm inside for the next 6 days. I know it's not good but I cannot beat the power of the fear I have.

Do you go out with your bf, to restaurants, movies, etc. or does he come over to your place and you just stay in.

karen

Purple

Purple lady — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 02:00:08 GMT

What is a bf? If it is a boyfriend what makes you think I have one because I don't. Life might be nicer if I did. Who was it that abused you?

Purple

Ggrand — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 02:06:26 GMT

Purple, sorry I got it wrong, my mind not the best,

My parents, eldest brother, then my hubby. But not wanting to go there atm, not feeling strong enough to talk about all that again.

Karen

Purple

Purple lady — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 02:08:50 GMT

No worries, what are you doing today? Are you feeling sad? lonely? anxious? depressed? bored?

Purple

Ggrand — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 02:40:42 GMT

Crying a lot, but a little scared, I didn't turn up for my GP appointment again, She said next time which is this time, if I didn't up, she will send ambos out to put me in hospital for a week, hoping now she was bluffing me, I tried to go to appointment but trying to get out anytime is hard, but definitely not going out with tears.

I done some washing. Yay.. now just laying on the lounge talking to you and others here..will probably have a nap later today ..if I'm still here and not in hospital..

Karen

Purple

Purple lady — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 03:10:38 GMT

At least you're talking to people. Why oh why do we get like this? I just want to be happy and have a purpose in this god damn life