topic I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends in Long-term support over the journey

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Fri, 07 Jul 2017 10:31:42 GMT

Hi everyone,

My name is Jess and I'm 23 years old. I love doing photography as its a passion of mine, love animals, love walking/doing exercise, cooking and being with family and friends.

I have been with this pesky mental illness, anxiety, since late 2014. I recently came onto the internet looking for forums and found this website. I got sucked into reading the anxiety forum a few days ago and I thought it was about time I made an appearance as we're not alone in this world.

I'd love to chat to those who are experiencing some sort of anxiety and hope to make new friends as I don't talk about my anxiety with my real friends.

Hope to chat soon, Jess 🙂

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Mia001 — Fri, 07 Jul 2017 10:42:02 GMT

Hi Jess,

Welcome to the forums! It's nice to meet you. I'm sure you'll make some friends. Everyone here is really supportive and non-judgmental - it's a great place to be. I'm sure some others will be along soon to say hi.

Hey, I love animals too. Do you have any pets?

Mia

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

solabear — Fri, 07 Jul 2017 10:51:13 GMT

Hey Jess, a big welcome to BB

I'm an animal lover too, I love all animals and I don't even eat them....I'm a vegan. I have a dog and three cats (all rescued).

I also suffer from anxiety so feel free to ask any questions or if you just wanna vent, we are here to support you. This is a lovely non-judgmental zone and I'm sure you will make friends in no time.

I'm glad you posted and good to have you on board.

Hugs from Sola

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

White_Rose — Fri, 07 Jul 2017 12:34:45 GMT

Hello Jess

Welcome to Beyond Blue. It's good to hear from you. Do you have any specific questions you would like to ask? Beyond Blue has lots of information about anxiety which you can download or send for. Look under The Facts at the top of the page and browse from there.

One of the advantages of talking on BB is the anonymity. Unless you choose to disclose your name no one will know who you are.

Do you feel anxious about anything in particular or do you have a generally anxious outlook? I hope you will enjoy making new friends.

Mary

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 04:00:06 GMT

Hi Mia, Sola & Mary,

Thank you all for the warm welcome. It's great to know that I can discuss my on-going troubles here and get some advice.

Mia & Sola, awesome to hear that you love animals too! They're some of the most loving creatures in the world. I have two dogs name Polo & Maggie. Maggie is pure labrador who loves food and Polo is a Retriever x Kelpie who loves playing ball and walks. They are both black and you may think they're related but they're not. They're best mates 🙂 I love hearing stories about rescue animals too.

Mary, I don't have any questions at the moment as I'll be just lurking around but I'll be sure to ask when I do.

My main concern at the moment is probably suffering from some separation anxiety (not sure if I am or not). I separated from my ex over a year ago now due to him moving away for work. And I don't think I have ever gotten used to it. We catch up every few months and I always end up getting anxious and crying by the last day when being with him. We talk almost every day and to be honest we are still best mates. My feelings for him are the same as the last day as he was here and that's the main cause behind this. I've mentioned to him to not tell me when he's catching up with friends because I always get anxious and jealous for him being around other people and not me.
To be honest that reason is probably the main cause of my anxiety. I am also having trouble with work. I work casually and when I get a call saying they dont need me, it brings me down. Brings me down that I end up crying myself to sleep some nights (like last night).

My apologies if that was too long, but it's the truth. Hope you have some suggestions for me.

Jess

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

White_Rose — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 04:50:51 GMT

Hello Jess

I should have put myself in the animal lover group. We always had cats and dogs when I was growing up and up to now.Your post is not too long. There is the 2500 characters limit and that's all you need to worry about.

I'm not certain if you are saying you have some romantic feelings for your friend which are the same as when you separated. If so then I can see how uncomfortable it can be for you. If you have separated in the romantic sense, is there a reason why you still get together? Do you think you have expectations from this. Does your friend have the same expectations? Sorry about the questions, I'm trying to get the facts straight in my head.

I think it will be good if you can decide why you are keeping in touch with your ex. It sounds as there is more than friendship in your mind as you get upset by him meeting with friends. Is this a permanent work situation for him? It sounds as though you would find life easier by not keeping in touch.

It is nice to catch up with friends and enjoy chatting but this is different I think. Can you try not to talk with him for a while and see how this works? You seem to have the worst of both worlds. Too far apart to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but too near, courtesy of Skype, to make the break final. This is very hard for you but the worst part is you are not free to meet someone else while your heart and mind is attached to the ex.

Take a break from each other for a month. Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends, flirt a little and have fun. Make sure you have absolutely no contact with the ex. In fact it would be good if you told him you are going to be off-air as it were for the next month and he should not contact you.

Will it be hard? Yes it will because you have invested all of yourself in him. Once you have shown yourself that you can live without him life will become much easier. You were friends but now it is time to go your separate ways.

Yes I can understand being told you are not required for work on some occasions is painful. Why do you think this is so? What does this job give you that you cannot find anywhere else? I understand you need to earn money but what is stopping you finding a permanent full time job? Something to do with photography as you have a great interest there.

I think I have asked enough questions for one day. Hope you will continue to post in.

Mary

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

startingnew — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 10:25:23 GMT

Hi there Jess

Welcome to the forums 🙂

your getting some
awesome support on here too and you can add me to your list of
supports

I too am sufferring
from anxiety though its not separation it is still anxiety and im 20
yrs old 🙂

I love photography as well and have been told I have a good 'eye' for it. What sort of things do you most to photograph? Oh and also an animal lover 🙂

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

solabear — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 12:49:38 GMT

Hi Jess,

I suffer from anxiety as well since childhood and I know how you feel. Anxiety is one of the hardest things in life to cope with. It's a debilitating condition. Are you on medication for it? I personally have no idea how to cope without meds. Also high dose of magnesium helps.

Hugs

Sola

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Johnno_S — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 13:26:51 GMT

Hi Jess

Welcome to the forums. I am a newbie to BB and have found the interaction with on the site very friendly and helpful.

We have a passion for photography and pets in common. I firmly believe that since we have rescued a female Beagle (Lola) and bought her a male companion ; also a Beagle (Barney) my anxiety has definitely decreased. Having cuddles and walking them are such a joy. You can combine your love of photography and dogs and create great shots; go one step further and enhance the images and even get them printed and hang them on the wall.

Relief from anxiety is a tricky one. I think the safest way to address it is to see your GP and get some help professionally. I have suffered from it all my life and have only learnt how to handle it with help from my psychiatrist and psychologist.

Stay in touch with everyone on the forums.

Best wishes

Johnno

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 05:07:02 GMT

Hi Mary,

Thank you for responding. I'm glad to hear that you have owned cats and dogs when you were growing up, they're some of the best companions to have.

I do have romantic feelings for my friend, always have since the day he left. We were together for a year and a bit before he left. We get together because we enjoy each other's company and get along just as well as if we were still together. It's distance that separated us, other than that we still get along just fine. I personally don't have expectations anymore since I'm so used to the visitations and mutual feelings. But am unsure on whether he's the same.

It is a permanent work situation for him. He's been gone a year and a half now. I still have this image in my head that I could be up there one day with him but if it's putting me through all this stress, I don't think it's worth the wait?

I have taken your advice and made the big step last night to not make contact with him for a while. Not putting a time length on it as that will only put pressure on myself. So I'm just taking it day by day. He knows about the situation as well.

I like working where I am because of the people and the environment. There's heaps of people around and generally my work colleagues are nice. I work in hospitality and have been in this job for only 6 months. I am currently looking for part time work but unfortunately there isn't much for photography work as where I live isn't a big city. I do my own photography like macro, nature and pet portraits. I hope to pursue pet portraiture as my job one day.

Thanks again Mary

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 05:13:15 GMT

Hey there startingnew,

Thank you for the warm welcome 🙂

I come on here and feel as though everyone relates to one another, which is great in a way. What do you think causes your anxiety, if you don't mind me asking?

Oh awesome 🙂 I've loved photography since I was about 17-18. It's definitely my happy place. As I've mentioned to Mary, I photograph nature, flowers etc with my macro lens. I love doing pet portraits and lately have been getting into landscapes again. I moved from my hometown nearly 10 months ago and used to take A LOT of landscapes since it was surrounded by farm land but since moving into a much bigger town, I have found it difficult to photograph landscapes. But am slowly getting back into it which is great 🙂

What things do you tend to photograph?

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 05:21:42 GMT

Hi Sola,

Anxiety is so unpredictable at times. It's been with me for a few years and it's only now that I want to learn how to deal with it. About 2 and a half weeks ago, I fainted outside of the shower.. felt dizzy and went against sitting down, and then woke up with my face on the bathroom floor. I gained a huge lump and bruises on my chin and also a huge bruise on my left forearm. The only thing that woke me up was the shower running on the back of my legs. Such a strange thing when you do these things and you didn't feel a thing. This episode is when I realized that I needed to do something.

I have been on medication since I was diagnosed. I feel as though my meds don't fully help with my anxiety but I really don't want to be drugged up that I don't feel anything, wouldn't feel normal to me.

Magnesium comes in tablet form correct? I'd be willing to give that shot if it really works.

Lets figure out how to cope with anxiety together Sola 🙂

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 05:28:29 GMT

Hi Johnno,

Thank you for the warm welcome. Only been on here for a few days and am already finding it helpful. Talking to people who can relate, helps a lot.

Oh excellent, another animal and photography lover! Beagles are so gorgeous, but hey any dog is gorgeous hey? Great names by the way. I bet they give you heaps of joy 24/7. As I mentioned above, I already do pet portraits and have done a few paid shoots already 🙂 My clients have been very happy so far.

I have also taken that action up of seeing a GP (tomorrow) and hopefully going to get a referral to see someone. I am a little impatient and want to get the ball rolling, time is crucial these days.

Thanks again, Johnno

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

startingnew — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 09:12:04 GMT

HI again nice to hear back from you 🙂

my anxiety is casued by alot of things- ive had a very traumatic childhood and alot of things around me going on and it has stayed with me till now. so i guess it varied between people but i find a common one is the uncertainty, overwhelmed, and fears whether they be rational or irrational- theres often a reason for these irrational fears might not be visible to others but they are to us and the way we think- both of these seem to be a common trait among those with anxiety. and you can ask any questions you like and myself as well as others will answer as best we can 🙂

i love photographing nature and animals too! i like going to rainforests sometimes as they offer some unique picture scenes and i also own horses myself and they are pretty picturesk 🙂

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Johnno_S — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 10:31:30 GMT

Hi Jess

Thanks for your reply. Gee you must be a good photographer if you are selling your prints. Good on you!!! I hope that you are successful in finding some good professional help for yourself. Something else you can do which helps me is practicing mindfulness. Totally focusing on the present. I do it playing my guitar, working out at the gym or even doing the dishes. Try not to think of the past or worry about the future. I know it's easier said than done but give it a go.

Best wishes

Johnno

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Johnno_S — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 10:38:58 GMT

Hi Jess

Just a tip. There is a government funded scheme called a BOMH which entitles you to free visits to a psychologist. You can apply for it through a GP.

Johnno

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Tue, 11 Jul 2017 02:07:59 GMT

Hello again 🙂

I am sorry to hear about your traumatic childhood, I can only imagine what you went through.. I can relate with the uncertainty and being overwhelmed etc. I'm always worrying about the things that haven't haven't happened yet.. So at the moment, I'm trying to take it one day at a time. We anxiety people suffer a lot more than regular people. And as you say, normal people may not see these visible traits so it's hard for them to understand.

What do you do to keep yourself busy? I like to do things with my hands, being tactile keeps my brain busy and keeps those negative thoughts away 🙂

Wow, these interests just keep building up! Awesome 🙂 I absolutely love being out in nature as well, it's my happy place and escape to reality. Rainforests are some of the best places to go.. the peace and the smell.. well the smell is amazing in my opinion. If you get what I mean 😉

Wow, you own horses? Not on a farm are you? How many do you own? I've never owned one and am a little scared but I know that they can be some of the most gentlest animals. Good for therapy etc.

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Tue, 11 Jul 2017 02:15:00 GMT

Hi Johnno,

No worries. Thank you for replying and the nice words 🙂 Haha, I have been told that I am a good photographer and believe I am (trying not to be cocky). I haven't exactly sold much of my work but am slowly building up a clientele. I created calendars last year and sold about 4. You get such pride when you know someone has your work inside your home!

Like I said above to Mary, I have eliminated my trigger for a while and am trying to focus on myself. Taking it one day at a time.
I envy those who can play an instrument! I love the sound of the piano, makes you sleepy.. I have also started back at the gym after a months break, makes you feel good and keeps the anxiety low 🙂

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

startingnew — Tue, 11 Jul 2017 09:38:17 GMT

Ive been through
mnay things but im working on those at the moment and while its not
easy at least im trying to get better hey.

Its good being here
because even though they dont 'know' me they do know me and often
more then those who do actaully know me.

Hmm what keeps me
busy- well I have 5 horses that need care, im a full time carer for
my pop, I look after my 2 younger sisters a lot, plus I do part time
care ownership for horses at an aggistment centre- so I get paid to
take care of others horses when they cant do it or when they go on
holidays.

Oh yes the smell of
rainforests are very good esp when im near the waterfalls. Theres one
near me that has a great waterfall but many leeches yukky -they creep
me out

but I do like to go
there everynow and then.

I love looking at
nature pics too, I sometimes imagine myself there being in the peace
and quiet and enjoyingt he sounds and sights and smells it has to
offer- do you do that too?

Yeah ive owned
horses before I could even walk. I was riding them too before I could
walk, ive got quite a few pictures of me on a horse a baby. No Im not
on a farm, im not lucky enough for that though I wish!
I personally own 1
horse but in the family we have 5 and I take care of all them quite abit by myself.

I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

Photography_lover — Wed, 12 Jul 2017 01:57:58 GMT

That's exactly right, you can only do what you can do to get better. It's worth the shot 🙂

While I have eliminated my trigger and being here, I have found it very comforting to express myself. It's a safe place to be in my opinion.

You certainly have a lot on your plate, which is good in a way. Makes getting out of bed, worth it. Sounds like you have taking care of horses in your blood-everyone has a something like that. You also love to help people in need which is an awesome trait to have, I also love helping people.

So jealous you have a waterfall near you! But the leeches, well.. wish they could go away. They seem to spoil this wonderful location it seems.

After I get over the awe of nature photos (thinking how on earth they captured the image) I do wish I was there, not so much imagine but just wishing I was there.

People who have animals like horses, I take my hat off to you as they are very high maintenance and time consuming. But it's all worth the hard work.