topic Just want to Shout out in Long-term support over the journey

Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 12:29:36 GMT

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

Just want to Shout out

BC68 — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 12:44:07 GMT

I'm shouting with you Shelly. You make perfect sense to me because I go through it too. I understand.

Just want to Shout out

V17 — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 13:15:37 GMT

Hey Shelley anne,

I'm hearing you dear. You too, BC. I think a great song to shout it out is - and please forgive the 80's - Tears For Fears 'Shout'. When I'm feeling like you are now, I'll search a song that I can identify with at the time. Try it and google. I'm listening to it now 🙂

V.

Just want to Shout out

SourceShield — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 13:17:44 GMT

I hear you, I feel you, and I accept you.

MuchLove

Just want to Shout out

Guest_9809 — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 21:32:48 GMT

I am hearing you too Shelley anne.

Sometimes shouting out loud helps, especially those is us who are typically a quieter type person. Because being a quieter person you tend to build up so much tension and frustration within you. With no release. Thats me also.

So yes, by all means SHOUT ........... as much as you need to.

You also mentioned that you feel like punching out. Someone once mentioned to me that I should use a punching bag. Take out your anger and frustrations on that instead of yourself. If no punching bag is available, try something else that is available - like a pillow perhaps.

Taurus

Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 23:52:50 GMT

Hey BC68, V17, Source Shield and Taurus, thanks for hearing and understanding.

BC68, I read your reply last night, not long after you wrote it. This may sound strange thanking you for shouting out with me. But by you saying that well..I felt not so alone in the shouting. So I am guessing that you too are just plain sick of things and such. I did read that once you looked out into the ocean and wondered what it would be like just to get into the water and just keep walking and walking. Walking out of existence. I do think you are on a similar page to me in that regard, for that is something that I would imagine. There is still sort of a strong urge within me, that wants to shout out and punch.

V17, the person who has a pet swan. Yes I remember you from another thread. Thanks for your suggestion about listening to music. I did Google the song you mentioned...."So shout shout let it all out" is what the singer sung in the chorus. That is the bit I remember, as I am writing this.

Oh the man with the awesome smile, and who has been bitten by a large ant... thanks heaps for hearing me, understanding my feelings and accepting me Sorce Shield.

Taurus, I do hope you are okay there? And yeah the good old punching bag. I do imagine that, it is red and swinging just slightly. It is attached by a rope hanging from the ceiling in my garage. Well in my imagination that is. And yeah, I am a quiet sort of person. I don't verbally speak much at all.

Just want to Shout out

SourceShield — Sun, 13 Nov 2016 00:12:47 GMT

MuchMuchMuchLove to YOU!

Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 — Sun, 13 Nov 2016 01:13:38 GMT

Your words made the tears well up, Source Shield. All I can say is thank you so much.

Just want to Shout out

BC68 — Sun, 13 Nov 2016 11:08:03 GMT

Thank you everyone

Just want to Shout out

blondguy — Sun, 13 Nov 2016 15:21:32 GMT

Hey Shelleybelly

I just read your shout and your pain is felt so very deeply..

you helped me out so much when I joined in January......and mega thanks to you

Always here for you

Mr Woof! xo

Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 23:18:09 GMT

Hey Mr Woof, hope you are well there. How is your mum, dad and daughter getting along? Anyway thank you for hearing me and thankyou also for calling me the name you gave, always does help me feel special or something.

Shelleybelly

Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 23:42:25 GMT

Well...today I don't feel angry. And there is nothing inside me that feels like that urge to shout or punch out. I don't know if that is a good thing or not. But I feel very tired, flat and almost like a "lay down the weapons feeling", or surrender type feeling. I can't beat whatever it was that I was trying to beat.

Just want to Shout out

SourceShield — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 23:57:24 GMT

Hey Lovely!

Please go with the body, and not against it.

Rest and recuperate.

Lay the weapons down.

Peacefulness, is the medicine of the moment.

I send to you , my prayers of love and ask for an extra portion of good health to be sent your way.

Knowing that what I ask for in prayer, is always answered.

You are a shining light, and a much appreciated presence here on BB.

MuchLove

Just want to Shout out

V17 — Tue, 15 Nov 2016 02:25:46 GMT

Hello Shelly anne,

I found you a simply beautiful and gentle song. It's called 'Surrender' by Natalie Taylor. I've never heard of it until now and it's going in my 'gentleness' compilation. I hope it helps, I'm hearing you.

V.

Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 08:34:41 GMT

All I can say source shield and V at the moment is thank you to you both.

At the moment the urge to shout,and punch is in me. I thought maybe I was moving along okay, but discouragement, anger, frustration and whatever else is inside me.

I feel like I want just to punch..punch ..punch. And yell out take that, take that at whatever it is that I am sick of. FAILURE that is what I am sick of. Why can't I be good at something? And what is the purpose of being good at anything anyway? I can't even find a reason for that.

So I am imagining my fist sort of closed with a punching glove on. I am now standing next to a punching bag, hanging and swinging just a bit. PUNCH....PUNCH, now I feel plain silly as well. In my imagination I am now on the floor, as the punching bag swung back and knocked me flat. I feel just plain siller now. I am even hitting this touch pad here, with too much force.

I am even sick of thinking about myself. I am trying to get my thoughts of myself and onto something or someone else, but I can't even do that.

So yeah...I have had my shout, ramble or vent. Call it what you want.

Sick of this

Just want to Shout out

SourceShield — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 22:15:39 GMT

Hey Shelley Anne,

You're welcome!

I get it.

Life can be incredibly frustrating, for all of us...but then when you have issues with depression or anxiety etc, on top of all that...somedays I'm really glad I cant take people out with a thought.

We'd all be obliterated!

TBH - I feel that your visualisation technique re: punching glove on, is a healthy way to vent.

Shows your intelligence - creativity to out-think the negative thoughts and to process them as visualisations, rather than taking them out on yourself or others in a more outward and physical way.

But, passive-aggression...directed inwards, still hurts, right?

One of my pet-peeves is being patronised, and I know that this may seem like a small thing, but it seems that you are rather good at expressing yourself in a healthy way.

Maybe it hasnt always been this way...but in this present moment, you have displayed a huge amount of emotional intelligence and competence...thats huge, especially these days!

So many emotionally incompetent people out here...that are unable to self-assess.

You do that...and you are safe here to do so.

When I wrote that I hear you, feel you...and accept you, I meant it.

I get what its like to be rejected and abandoned, so I am not gonna give up on you.

You take all the time you need to vent and process all that you are feeling.

I like being good at things...but I guess its all about our intentions.

I desire greater health and happiness, for myself...and now for all...even perceived enemies.

I feel the fact that you are asking these questions means that you are ready, as ready as youll ever be...to look deeper into...what is it you want out of your life?

We're not meant to know all the answers, all at once..but stay curious and keep asking the right questions.

You are on the right path!

MuchLove

Just want to Shout out

V17 — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 00:16:53 GMT

Good morning Shelly anne,

I'm hearing you! I truly believe that writing how you are feeling is so good for us who are suffering. I've written this a few times in posts but I swear by it; when we write down or speak about our thoughts in the guise that someone will read or listen to us, we need to be able to write or speak in a manner that is understandable, this then enables us to gain a little bit of clarity about how we are feeling. Sometimes Shelly anne, the smallest and simplest step of just having an understanding of how we are feeling is a step forward. I think you are really good at that; you help me identify stuff about me, simply by writing stuff down in here that myself and many others can relate to, I am really grateful for that, thank you.

Thinking of you, V. xx

P.S. What you wrote reminded me of a lyric in Everlong by Foofighters ...I'm over my head, Out of her head she sang..

Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 00:44:09 GMT

Good Morning source shield

Thanks for getting it,

And I am so sorry that you have experienced rejection and abandonment. I too have felt these such painful emotions. In fact being rejected by a certain person in my life is one thing that I get either angry about or fall in a heap on the floor and sob and sob....But at the same time, I am learning one cannot force people to love us or have expectations that they will. This lesson has been a painful one for me. And I have often cried and yelled out in my car even when I have been by myself saying " Why doesn't he love me?".'etc.

Anyway this particular rejection issue is one that I have experienced the "surrender" feeling as posted above. Simply letting go of all expectations. Then the person feels free to choose to love me or not. But like I said this is a painful lesson and I do fail at it. In turn I get frustrated welling up inside of me. So yeah..... But when I do "let go" or "surrender", then the relationship is so...so much better. It brings thankful and happy tears to my eyes.

So thank you so much source shield for mentioning the rejection and abandonment issue in your post. Because it has helped me understand it all just now as I write to you.

And your dog is so....so cute. Keep smiling, if you don't mind me saying that? For you do have a special one that shines from your face there.

Shell xxx

Just want to Shout out

SourceShield — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 01:09:12 GMT

You're very welcome, Shell!

And, I dont mind you saying that at all.

Its funny because, I'm in the same boat...theres a guy that I am in love with too, and in the past, in weak-moments...I could be found bawling my eyes out too, thinking the same as you - Why Doesnt He Love Me?

But, how could he?

Its a cliche but...I never knew how to love me, so how could anyone else?

So, I am learning to be holistically-healthy...and even if it's not with him, that I am meant to be, I know now that I deserve love...and that true love, will eventually find me too!

Youre not failing.

Youre growing.

And there will always be growing pains!

Please dont be so hard on yourself, I believe that you're doing really well, considering!

I am here for you.

MuchLove&Kindness

Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 05:22:52 GMT

Dear V and source shield, I am unable to think clearly enough to reply to your posts. There is a sort of a comprehend button within my brain that is.....not working properly. I have read and re read your words, but no it's not sinking in. I will get back to you when I am able. Take care

Too emotional at the moment......