topic My boyfriend has depression/anxiety in Supporting family and friends

My boyfriend has depression/anxiety

stressxless — Wed, 26 Oct 2016 05:37:29 GMT

Hello,

I'm seeking out some advice.

I was close friends with my boyfriend before we started dating and becoming an official. Our relationship is only 3 weeks old (very new) and he's recently been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I care for him incredibly and would like to know what I can do to support him. In the past, I've had anxiety and partially know what he's coping with. Yet of course, everyone is different.

He's not one to be expressively open and has always been a private person. He's shared things with me yet I don't want to push him to express things to me. But some days I feel like I'm not doing enough to be a supportive person in his life; I'm not sure how to be better support.

Help!

My boyfriend has depression/anxiety

Zeal — Wed, 26 Oct 2016 06:57:30 GMT

Hi Stressxless,

Welcome to the forum! You have come to the right place 🙂

First off, it is great that you care so much about your boyfriend and want to support him as best you can. He is very lucky to have you. I have OCD/anxiety, and my boyfriend has thankfully been supportive. Having had anxiety, this could help at least a little in terms of you relating to and understanding your boyfriend when he's struggling with his mental health. It seems as though this has been the case so far. You are right in saying that everyone experiences mental illness differently.

Beyondblue resources you will find especially helpful are under Supporting someone on the menu bar. Here are some more resources that could help you to understand/support your boyfriend:

https://www.rethink.org/carers-family-friends/what-you-need-to-know/supporting-someone-with-a-mental-illness

https://www.sane.org/mental-health-and-illness/facts-and-guides/292-families-friends-carers

https://mhfa.com.au/resources/help-a-friend-family-member-or-co-worker-with-mental-health-illness-or-crisis

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

My boyfriend has depression/anxiety

geoff — Wed, 26 Oct 2016 21:27:10 GMT

hello Stressxless, a new relationship how lovely it must be, except for the fact that your b/friend is suffering silently with some form of depression, unfortunately men often do this and are too afraid of opening up to anyone, but I'm sure that he knows how much you do love him and that's great.
Zeal has given you a few links to open up and I'm sure her work that she has provided will help you.
One thing you shouldn't do is to keep asking him for answers to your questions, because this will only make him close up even further, although it's an anxious time for you because all you want to do is help through this, however any information he says is his way of slowly discussing this situation but it needs to be done on his terms, and once he starts talking then you can slowly discuss some other matters, but once he feels tense then you need to back off and give him a cuddle.
You will learn to know what to say and what not to say, so in other words if you say something to him and he doesn't answer then that's the time to back off.
I love the 'X' in your avatar because that's how much you do love him. Geoff. x