topic My Brother is suffering with depression and i want to know how to help him, he's closed off from everyone. in Supporting family and friends

My Brother is suffering with depression and i want to know how to help him, he's closed off from everyone.

eavtooch — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 23:31:26 GMT

My brother is 23 and a carpenter. His girlfriend used to live with us but she is now moving out since his depression and anxiety has become worse. I want to help he get out of this but I'm lost with how to do so. He doesn't want to talk and finds it hard to explain how he feels if he does choose to talk. Work is a big stress for him and I've tried to cut back his hours but sometimes i think work is keeping him sane. He has mentioned suicide attempts and also says life would be easier if he ended it. I'm desperate for help. I want him to be happy again.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

My Brother is suffering with depression and i want to know how to help him, he's closed off from everyone.

Sophie_M — Tue, 23 Jun 2015 00:47:24 GMT

Hi eavtooch, thanks for posting. It looks like you have been trying really hard to support your brother through his depression and anxiety and it can be helpful to ask others for support and suggestions on how they have managed this situation as it can be a process of trial and error.

Sometimes people with depression and anxiety report that they do not want to be a burden on family and friends and because of this feeling they start to withdraw. People with depression and anxiety can also have a number of fears and concerns about seeking treatment which might impact on them accessing support and finally they can also feel really unmotivated or too nervous to pick up the phone because of the mental illness.

Keeping some of these points in mind can help you to work through some your brothers’ barriers to seeking support.

Eavtooch, there are many things you can do to support someone experiencing problems with depression and anxiety and some things you might try include;

- Let him know if you've noticed a change in his behaviour.
- Spend time talking about his feelings and let him know that you're there to listen without being judgmental.
- Suggest he see a doctor or health professional and/or assist him to make an appointment.
- Go with him to the doctor or health professional.- Help him to find information about depression.
- Encourage him to try to get enough sleep, exercise, eat well and use self-help strategies.
- Invite him out and keep in touch. Also encourage friends and family members to do the same, but don't pressure him to participate.

There are many things you can do to support someone experiencing problems with depression, and your idea to get him professional help is a good one.

Supporting someone with anxiety or depression can be difficult and it is important to also take care of yourself. The beyondblue website also has a helpful section for family and friends.

You might like to also contact ARAFEMI for further support.

Finally we have some useful resources on understanding suicide and suicide prevention that you might like to have a read of.

We encourage you to call the beyondblue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. We can help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with counselling support, information and referrals.

My Brother is suffering with depression and i want to know how to help him, he's closed off from everyone.

geoff — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 00:06:45 GMT

dear Eavtooch, hello and it's great to know that you have posted on this site.

You have had an big response from Sophie which I hope will guide you to begin with and hopefully later on.

Your brother doesn't seem to be in a good condition, because as soon as someone mentions anything at all about suicide our ears suddenly prop up with alarms bells ringing in emergency.

So now we are worried about your brother and the concerns that he keeps to himself, and this is not his best option, he needs someone who he can talk to, and now you are in this situation, and the best way to start is by not to be hounding him with question after question, because this will only turn him off and then not want say a word.

So it has to be started just gradually, when he seems to be aloof or deep in thought, and just ask a simple question, and if he responds let him talk, the ball is always in his court so to speak.

The advice that Sophie has given you again is very helpful, so I won't need to mention any of these again.

Can I ask whether or not he and his girlfriend were having trouble before she decided to move out, and concerned that this might have been the instigating reason for his depression.

I am worried about his work and feel that he could stop working, as depression takes over, so I would like you to click on 'Resources' at the top of this page and order All the Printed Material from BB it's free but very informative, then the both of you may learn more about this illness. Geoff.

My Brother is suffering with depression and i want to know how to help him, he's closed off from everyone.

trustlife — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 06:06:09 GMT

Hi eavtooch,

Sorry to hear your concerns about your brother. The warning signs are there for sure and I would really agree with Geoff's post. Get resources around you. On another practical note I'd orchestrate a few events that got him into working with is hobbies. (What are they?) The real problem with depression is it's very hard to catch their attention as this program is running and taking up most of their mind. Ironically they crave attention and will throw out a comment on suicide. Don't take it lightly - get the resources you need. Is there some little child in your family circle of friends that your son likes? If so, I'd ask him to make them a special table for them to do their drawing. Try to have the child with him when he's making it and watch the change in your son. This can be very therapeutic for all concerned.