topic My Mentally ill daughter has to come home and my partner said No. in Supporting family and friends

My Mentally ill daughter has to come home and my partner said No.

pro1 — Sat, 23 May 2015 05:49:32 GMT

Well ,Have I done the correct thing, I had and was caring for my daughter from the ages of 18 to 27 at my property, but I feel she was pushed out by my partner of 8 years ,she was renting with her boyfriend who then became her carer ,basically there was no relationship between them . She now has to leave the property ,and has bipolar and every other mental illness ,My Partner does not want her here, and basically has 5 children of her own and I had 4,we now only have 2 of her kids here the rest have all left under different circumstances. I basically can not do this and have become extremely depressed in the last 2 weeks .And decided to end the relationship ,I could not live with myself at the thought of abandoning my Daughter. My partner also suffers from slight Bipolar, But she will not budge or offer any other solutions, Why could she have not said ,bring her back and we can sort something out, basically I just went into such a low. She did not have a good upbringing .

My Mentally ill daughter has to come home and my partner said No.

white knight — Sat, 23 May 2015 09:18:35 GMT

Hi pro 1, welcome to BB forums

Your information you provided is limited. But regardless, I think you absolutely did the right thing. It's only your guilt that makes you ask us here if you've done the "right thing".

It never ceases to amaze me how some people enter a relationship and from that moment on it becomes "conditional". Well, I strongly believe, if you enter a relationship you enter it accepting your new partners children as part of him/her.

Briefly- I had a partner for 10 years. 9 years into the defacto relationship she had an arguement with my daughter. Fair enough, my daughter didnt empty the washing machine and hang the wet clothes. Then she said "if it happens again you'll be going back to your mothers place to live". My partner went over the line, she had no right to threaten that, she didnt discuss this at all with me prior to.

Finally. After that relationship I firmly believe now that some adults are not suitable to be step parents. They havent got the nurturing/kin/friendship side that is needed. And often their attitude is poisoned with jealousy. You've either got it or you havent.

You did the right thing. There is no justification in the rejection of your daughter....mental illness or no mental illness.

Tony wK

My Mentally ill daughter has to come home and my partner said No.

HA1 — Sat, 23 May 2015 10:08:57 GMT

I cannot add anything to that which White Knight has already said. But can I just reinforce, stay loyal to your daughter - she needs you. Please!