topic Concerned that neighbour is drinking a lot in Supporting family and friends

Concerned that neighbour is drinking a lot

gloria10 — Wed, 08 Jun 2022 06:59:28 GMT

Hi,

I used to get a long with an elderly neighbour well. Over the last 6 months he has become more aggressive, snide with any remarks towards me and he is drinking a lot during the week at night (I can hear the sound of bottles and he is outside at night). I've also noticed slurred speach.

I am trying to avoid him more as his mood gets to me, I don't appreciate when he has a go either.

Is this change in personality common with alcoholics? My neighbour has also made a comment.

Concerned that neighbour is drinking a lot

jaz28 — Wed, 08 Jun 2022 07:29:16 GMT

Hi gloria10,

Sorry to hear you are feeling down because of this. I think it is common for alcoholics to be more raged or upset when they are under the influence, depending on how alcohol impacts them.

It might be worth approaching him and asking if he is okay. If he does not want to talk to you, then best to leave him be. You cannot really do much if he is not receptive to your contact unless you are worried about his mental health or need to make a noise complaint. Just be there for him if he does need support.

I hope things improve,

Jaz xx

Concerned that neighbour is drinking a lot

gloria10 — Wed, 08 Jun 2022 07:57:54 GMT

Thanks Jaz, I have asked him before after a neighbour mentioned his behaviour (in a gentle way) and he didn’t say anything much.

I think I need to stay away as he does intimidate me a bit and talks down to me.

Concerned that neighbour is drinking a lot

Beeee — Thu, 09 Jun 2022 11:03:28 GMT

Hi gloria10,

I definitely agree that staying away from him and giving him his space is the best thing to do, especially for your own safety. He might be going through some things he doesn't feel like sharing with a neighbour and as jaz28 has said, the only thing you can do is be there for him if he reaches out and asks for help.

Wishing you the best,

Beeee

Concerned that neighbour is drinking a lot

geoff — Thu, 09 Jun 2022 16:39:28 GMT

Hello Gloria, no one can know why a person drinks alcohol, sometimes it may be obvious, other times it's unkown and yes people change once they start and can easily be triggered to make remarks that aren't pleasant.

If this has happened then you can't change his ways, especially when he's been drinking, because he will do what he deems he wants to do, but there could be chance he agrees with you momentarily, then tomorrow back to how he was, so if he making remarks that you don't like, then leave him alone.

So yes when drinking there is certainly a change in personality and best to avoid him.

If there are other problems that he may be doing then please let us know.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Concerned that neighbour is drinking a lot

gloria10 — Fri, 10 Jun 2022 11:41:34 GMT

Hi Beeee,

It is possible he’s dealing with stuff and being neighbours only I may not know who he really is. I guess it’s just a bit tricky because we run into each other a bit. I have found I feel better not saying much, so that’s a start.

Thanks Geoff. Given he was snapping at me over little things I think my safety comes first, he has a temper so I think that has been my concern. I’m soft natured too and he knows it.

It’s sad seeing someone change in that way.

Concerned that neighbour is drinking a lot

geoff — Fri, 10 Jun 2022 14:57:14 GMT

Hello gloria, as people age, their capability to be able to do what they once were able to do decreases and sometimes immensely so they can resort to having a drink and once this starts it could increase daily, such as one day they start an hour earlir than normal.

They can get annoyed with themselves and substitute or replace this with drinking alcohol.

Best wishes.

Geoff.