Where do I begin?

Jazz9 — Mon, 12 May 2014 11:52:52 GMT

Ok, here goes... First time I've done this! My partner of 10 years is currently in a psych hospital. Self admitted, with my support and I'm really optimistic for our future and his future wellness. He has a history of depression since being a small kid and this continued into adulthood with 2 suicide attempts and 1 marriage down the gurgler. Finally, we have a diagnosis. Bi-polar. This is scary, but also comforting to have a name to the illness that takes over both our lives. Although a chemical imbalance, I have a strong feeling that his family has a lot to do with his negative feelings about himself, and they have taken the "ostrich in the sand" approach to his illness for his while life.

His mother rang me tonight. Upset that he doesn't want her to visit him. She then carried on about him having issues because his older brother was a "hard act to follow" and that he was never good enough! (I'll put her nomination in for mother of the year later)

I took a deep breath, fighting the urge to tell her that she is a lot of the reason why he needs help, and she suggested I ask him, on her behalf, to see him.

I don't want her there. I want him to complete the program without outside influences that could set him back. She doesn't understand him, or his illness and I have found her lack of support, in the past staggering. However, she is his mother.

What should I do?

Where do I begin?

Neil_1 — Tue, 20 May 2014 06:26:35 GMT

Hi Jazz

I'm so sorry that your post hasn't been picked up till now. I hope that you're still around.

If your partner is still in hospital, my suggestion would be to say to the mother, "look, I know you're his mother, but at this current time, the doctors and the people who are treating him really only advise that I be the one to be there with him".

Look Jazz, this is all probably too late as he might well be out by now. I just feel so bad that your post was never addressed before this.

If you're still about, please please post again. I'll be looking out for it, and I would also like to know how he's doing, and how you ended up dealing with the mother?

Kind regards

Neil

topic Where do I begin? in Supporting family and friends

Where do I begin?

Where do I begin?