https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/avoidant-disorder/m-p/72739#M3523 I am in a 5 year long distance relationship with someone who we have now discovered is depressed and has avoidant disorder.&nbsp; In the beginning everything was great, our relationship was next to perfect, we saw each other every other wkend, spent all free time together.&nbsp; 1 year ago my daughter moved into his home to finish her university and now our world has fallen apart.&nbsp;&nbsp; He's a 50 yr old man who has lived on his own.&nbsp; Cannot handle 22 yr old step-daughter in house with him. Retreats to his room, has become depressed and has gone out and signed up for therapy.&nbsp;&nbsp; In the meantime he has asked me for time and space.&nbsp; says he still loved me, is in love with me, and is attracted to me,&nbsp; but has now cut off almost all communication with me.&nbsp;&nbsp; Cant answer any questions I ask, avoids avoids avoids.&nbsp;&nbsp; But when I do see him I can see how sad he is, he shows me a little affection, but if I'm around too long, more than a couple of days he retreats again.&nbsp; To the point he will try and sleep on the far end of the bed with his pillow all cinched up.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I NEED HELP !!!&nbsp;&nbsp; Will therapy help him ?&nbsp; Will he come back to me ??&nbsp; He cannot even answer a simple question as to whether or not I should come over, wants me to decide, doesn't matter.&nbsp;&nbsp; Before he couldn't get enough of me.&nbsp;&nbsp; He has read all about avoidant personality and he agrees its him to a ''tee''.&nbsp;&nbsp; I just do not know what to do, do I coddle him and love him and support him or do I let him slip away ?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Will he come back to me and be the person I initially fell in love with,&nbsp; this new person is like Jeykle and Hyde.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Anyone who is a spouse/partner of an avoidant please let me know if he will pull out of this..&nbsp; please let me know if when he doesn't answer to see me should I stay away ?&nbsp;&nbsp; Please let me know if I should continue to text/phone him...&nbsp; I am lost and love him sooo much Thu, 24 Apr 2014 19:20:08 GMT Ladybell 2014-04-24T19:20:08Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/avoidant-disorder/m-p/72739#M3523 I am in a 5 year long distance relationship with someone who we have now discovered is depressed and has avoidant disorder.&nbsp; In the beginning everything was great, our relationship was next to perfect, we saw each other every other wkend, spent all free time together.&nbsp; 1 year ago my daughter moved into his home to finish her university and now our world has fallen apart.&nbsp;&nbsp; He's a 50 yr old man who has lived on his own.&nbsp; Cannot handle 22 yr old step-daughter in house with him. Retreats to his room, has become depressed and has gone out and signed up for therapy.&nbsp;&nbsp; In the meantime he has asked me for time and space.&nbsp; says he still loved me, is in love with me, and is attracted to me,&nbsp; but has now cut off almost all communication with me.&nbsp;&nbsp; Cant answer any questions I ask, avoids avoids avoids.&nbsp;&nbsp; But when I do see him I can see how sad he is, he shows me a little affection, but if I'm around too long, more than a couple of days he retreats again.&nbsp; To the point he will try and sleep on the far end of the bed with his pillow all cinched up.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I NEED HELP !!!&nbsp;&nbsp; Will therapy help him ?&nbsp; Will he come back to me ??&nbsp; He cannot even answer a simple question as to whether or not I should come over, wants me to decide, doesn't matter.&nbsp;&nbsp; Before he couldn't get enough of me.&nbsp;&nbsp; He has read all about avoidant personality and he agrees its him to a ''tee''.&nbsp;&nbsp; I just do not know what to do, do I coddle him and love him and support him or do I let him slip away ?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Will he come back to me and be the person I initially fell in love with,&nbsp; this new person is like Jeykle and Hyde.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Anyone who is a spouse/partner of an avoidant please let me know if he will pull out of this..&nbsp; please let me know if when he doesn't answer to see me should I stay away ?&nbsp;&nbsp; Please let me know if I should continue to text/phone him...&nbsp; I am lost and love him sooo much Thu, 24 Apr 2014 19:20:08 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/avoidant-disorder/m-p/72739#M3523 Ladybell 2014-04-24T19:20:08Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/avoidant-disorder/m-p/72740#M3524 <P>Thats a tough one Ladybell.&nbsp; Been a while since you posted and with no reply I thought I'd give it a go.</P> <P>In my view he might need a strong hand, to get in there and tell him he is going out for dinner with you etc.&nbsp; He seems to be taking the easy way out of his problem.&nbsp; I'm just thinking that he needs to be almost mothered to get him to not retreat.</P> <P>I have no other thought. Good luck.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; hug to you.</P> <P></P> Mon, 05 May 2014 04:41:29 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/avoidant-disorder/m-p/72740#M3524 white knight 2014-05-05T04:41:29Z