topic dealing partner who has BPD and my own depression in Supporting family and friends https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/dealing-partner-who-has-bpd-and-my-own-depression/m-p/54434#M2366 Hi I do not have experience with this.&nbsp; My husband had to deal with my anxiety and he too used to appease me, annoyed the you know what out of me.&nbsp; Sometimes you have to be honest to yourself and your wife, you are not doing her any favours by lying.&nbsp; My husband was an enabler, I drank to ease my anxiety, always had a problem with drink even before the anxiety.&nbsp; I always asked him to be honest with me, he couldn't, he kept his feelings bottled up and then one day he had enough and left.&nbsp; We went to a counselor for 12 months prior things improved then bang he left.&nbsp; I don't know if this is helping but the only way you can help your wife is to be honest and let her know how she behaves affects you terribly.&nbsp; It is hard to live with someone who has a mental illness and it does not matter how much we love then sometimes we need more than love to make the relationship work.&nbsp; Have you seen a counselor for yourself they might be able to give you ideas on what to do. Sat, 01 Nov 2014 20:34:59 GMT dougall 2014-11-01T20:34:59Z dealing partner who has BPD and my own depression https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/dealing-partner-who-has-bpd-and-my-own-depression/m-p/54433#M2365 <P>Finding it really hard to keep supporting my partner who has borderline personality disorder on top of my own depression and anxiety........</P> <P>the mood swings, the anger outbursts, the manipulation is ripping us apart and when we try to talk within seconds its all about her again and i get left to swallow all the feelings and make it ok for her.</P> <P>How do people do this long term? its been 4yrs now and its not getting easier, she says she wants help but i dont trust in even that anymore..........she sees a counsellor but i dont think she is honest with her.</P> <P><SPAN style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14.6250486373901px;">my partner has&nbsp;diabetes&nbsp;and eye issues from high sugars, recently she stopped taking any of her meds or&nbsp;insulin, self&nbsp;sabotage&nbsp;as she&nbsp;described&nbsp;it&nbsp;when&nbsp;i&nbsp;pinned her down for an answer............now she is not testing her sugars again and lying to me about it, flat out lies then gets upset when i&nbsp;catch her out.....</SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14.6250486373901px;">i dont know how to keep going, i love her and our life together but how long i can keep going i just dont know.</SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14.6250486373901px;">anyone got experience of dealing with a partner with borderline personality???&nbsp;</SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14.6250486373901px;">thanks</SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14.6250486373901px;">&nbsp;</SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14.6250486373901px;"><BR /> </SPAN></P> <P>&nbsp;</P> Thu, 30 Oct 2014 13:50:25 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/dealing-partner-who-has-bpd-and-my-own-depression/m-p/54433#M2365 celticweirdness 2014-10-30T13:50:25Z dealing partner who has BPD and my own depression https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/dealing-partner-who-has-bpd-and-my-own-depression/m-p/54434#M2366 Hi I do not have experience with this.&nbsp; My husband had to deal with my anxiety and he too used to appease me, annoyed the you know what out of me.&nbsp; Sometimes you have to be honest to yourself and your wife, you are not doing her any favours by lying.&nbsp; My husband was an enabler, I drank to ease my anxiety, always had a problem with drink even before the anxiety.&nbsp; I always asked him to be honest with me, he couldn't, he kept his feelings bottled up and then one day he had enough and left.&nbsp; We went to a counselor for 12 months prior things improved then bang he left.&nbsp; I don't know if this is helping but the only way you can help your wife is to be honest and let her know how she behaves affects you terribly.&nbsp; It is hard to live with someone who has a mental illness and it does not matter how much we love then sometimes we need more than love to make the relationship work.&nbsp; Have you seen a counselor for yourself they might be able to give you ideas on what to do. Sat, 01 Nov 2014 20:34:59 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/supporting-family-and-friends/dealing-partner-who-has-bpd-and-my-own-depression/m-p/54434#M2366 dougall 2014-11-01T20:34:59Z