A brief guide to partners questions regarding depression and how to ride a bike

The_Real_David_Charles — Thu, 30 May 2013 23:15:32 GMT

Dear BB, Only 26 years of mental health experience has gone into this thread so if I've missed anything I apologise. I'm selecting these 10 questions from partners of depressed people from about 1,000 I've read with my 2 years responding. Feel free to add to the list if you like adding to lists or feel a bit confronted by the simplicity of the answers. Just saying.

Q1: Why is my partner unmotivated, isolated and withdrawn from the family ? A1: Depression, i.e. sick

Q2: Why can't my partner take some responsibility and sort himself/herself out ? A2: Depression, i.e. sick

Q3: Why can't we go out to the movies and do things like we used to ? A3: Depression, i.e. sick

Q4: Why do I have to do all the kids drops and pick ups ? A4: Depression, i.e. sick

Q5: Why doesn't our sex life shred the sheets like it used to ? A5: Depression, i.e. sick

Q6: Why do I feel like the enemy or the one to blame ? A6: Depression, i.e. sick

Q7: Why does our extended family avoid us ? A7: Depression, i.e. sick

Q8: Why, with the job loss/redundancy or Centrlink are thing so terrible ? A8: Depression, i.e. sick

Q9: Why did David Charles make this brief guide ? A9: Depression/Mania, i.e. fully sick

Q10: So what has the analogy with riding a bike go to do with it ? A10: Depression = riding a bike, i.e. a familiar journey

CONCLUSION:

I hope that clears a few things up. If a partner can't accept that Depression is a valid and life sucking illness to be treated with empathy and support then I think it's all about the partner rather than the sick person. Getting frustrated with a depressed partner, telling them to "snap out of it", being bossy because you are "sick" of it (the irony !) probably won't help in the long term. But in the short term it's a bit like kicking the cat. Only a cat has 9 lives, isn't on meds and looks cute.

Adios, David.

PS I'm trialling a year without the internet so wish me luck. Who knows, it will be like having my mine pumped. I'm aware some partners of depressed people won't accept this black and white position.

A brief guide to partners questions regarding depression and how to ride a bike

geoff — Sat, 01 Jun 2013 15:35:44 GMT

dear David Charles, another important one:

Why can't my partner/spouse get to see a psych. now, not in two or three weeks time Answer annoyance = Depression. Geoff.

topic A brief guide to partners questions regarding depression and how to ride a bike in Supporting family and friends

A brief guide to partners questions regarding depression and how to ride a bike

A brief guide to partners questions regarding depression and how to ride a bike