topic Bunny in Supporting family and friends

Bunny

Bunny6 — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 12:00:20 GMT

Hi guys,

My brother used to be highly successful in his job (he is a mechanic). He has been married three times. The last marriage has broken him.

He used to 'commute' from Malaysia to WA. His Indonesian wife did nothing (and I mean NOTHING). My brother had to come home after 3 weeks working to have to clean the house as his wife did nothing.

She did, however, spend all his money.

He is now trying to re-build his life after three years (and doing an awesome job), but he is still becoming drunk.

I know that I cannot intervene personally, but, gosh, there are much better ways to live than getting drunk all the time!

I don't understand why he 'needs' to drink to excess, but I DO get that he is hurting!

I wish I could ease his pain (whatever it is) so he can actually live a wonderful life....

PS. I have progressive MS, so am not especially mobile.

Any suggestions are very welcome.

PPS. I like a glass or two of white wine, but I have never been drunk.

No idea what to do ....

Re: Bunny

Croix — Sat, 05 Aug 2023 15:03:00 GMT

Dear Bunny6~

Although he may have had bad fortune in other ways he is lucky to have a caring sister like you.

I guss wiht any means of coping that is relied upon, and sadly alcohol becomes an addition wiht its own problems, then trying to get a person to change is hard. While there is always talk of rehab centers the core problem is if the person does not want to change, or cannot see what can be done instead.

My own experience is that I could never give up an addictive behavior for my own sake, physical damage, cost and stigma simply did not give me enough motivation.

I did give up, but that was becuse of the grief it was causing my partner. It was that (plus anger) that made me stop. Not because I was nagged, quite the reverse, my partner said nothing, but I could see the misery I was causing.

I don't know if this helps, your bother's situation is different after such a disastrous marriage, however there is always hope

Croix