topic Helping a colleague in Supporting family and friends

Helping a colleague

Not_Batman — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 03:20:31 GMT

Trying to find some advise to help a colleague that is at a tipping point.

I have worked with this person for over a decade, And have had to put up with a lot from them. The constant negativity, always seeing the bad side of everything, treating people ok, but speaking to them in a pretty awful manner. No filter between thought and speech. Like the interpersonal skills are Not honed well.

there was a point where i absolutely disliked this person because of their attitude toward everything, and how they spoke to me and everyone else. Most people dont want to have to approach or go near them because they know how the interaction will be. Most of the workgroup doesn't want to work with the person because of the above said.

i have spoken to this person time and time again to give support. When i notice this person is in a particular bad mood, i reach out to try to calm the situation. Often this is well received as they know my intentions.

the only way to describe this person is bitter, and negative. But the person has some great qualities. The person is very thorough with their job tasks, and does a great job. But is their own worst enemy.

im just not sure what to do from here on. The person is no longer in my work group, and there is a hugely increasing Workload and technical change coming this year which i am certain they wont cope with very well at all.

none of it is in my control, but if there is anything that i can do to help the situation, i am all ears (well in this case eyes)

Not_Batman

Helping a colleague

white knight — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 07:29:18 GMT

Hi mate

Some comments said in therapy way back in 1987 stick with me e.g.

"Tony, why do you want to save the world"?

It came as a response to my efforts to run to anyone and everyone as soon as I sense I could help them only to get some rejection. Apparently I could not guess that some people don't want help or are not privacy to change.

In your case compassion and tolerance is remarkable for this work mate but...as you won't be working directly with him I'd let him be.

And remember, many people don't make the effort to get themselves to counseling knowing full well they have issues. I tend to help those that show eagerness to make change. That's keeps me busy enough.

TonyWK

Helping a colleague

Not_Batman — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 08:20:37 GMT

Hi Tony.

thanks for the comments. The person doesnt appear to show any initiative to seek help, and people only help them with work when boiling point is reached.

at one point i suggested at the very least join the BB forums, but It was not taken up.

As much as it pains me, i may take your advise and not go out of my way to “save the world”, but i will certainly help should they ask for it.

Not_Batman

Helping a colleague

quirkywords — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 09:17:35 GMT

Not bateman and everyone reading

Years ago I worked with someone who sounds similar to your colleague.
I did not want to save this person but to stop this person from calling me names and being critical of everything.

You have a good heart and a willingness to help.