topic I'm really angry at you, Depression in Supporting family and friends

I'm really angry at you, Depression

copingwithdepressedpartne — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 01:18:15 GMT

Dear depression,
I want my boyfriend back please.
He’s been gone for three months now and I’d like him back.
Occasionally over the last three months he has broken through you, depression, and has given me clarity, he’ll tell me he loves me and that everything will be okay, but most of the last three months has been him taken over by you, depression. I’m trying to be strong. I’m trying to wait until you go away, but I’ve had enough!!
People ask after my boyfriend and I say, 'he’s good,' but I just want to shout at them and yell, ‘This thing called depression is visiting and has taken him away from me and he’s not at all good!!’
The hardest thing, depression, is when you make him withdraw so much that he won’t talk to me, he won’t respond to calls or texts for days, it’s devastating and worries me so much.
When depression wasn’t visiting this was a man who told me lovely things, we spoke of moving in together and getting married, it was amazing. He knows me and I know him, we get each other. We have so much fun. We laugh at the silliest things until we cry. We have both never been in a relationship quite so good, quite so right.
You think, depression, that you can tell him things that he will believe, negative things, that nothing is right and nothing is good enough. Well, you’re not fooling me and soon you won’t be able to fool him anymore either.
Depression, you’ve made us both feel anxiety about our future. You have made my beautiful man behave differently, he talks slowly, he can’t make decisions and he gets terrible headaches when you’re around.
He is the love of my life and you cannot have him!! You really have gotten in the way of our relationship. We’ll fight you off eventually and, no, you cannot come back, not even for a visit.

I'm really angry at you, Depression

white knight — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 02:44:46 GMT

Hi, welcome

Well written. I cannot comment a lot except to refer you to a few threads that you can read- just read the first post of each thread if you like.

Use google

Beyondblue topic depression, the timing of motivation

Beyondblue topic who cares for the carer?

Beyondblue topic be radical

I hope all gets better, repost anytime.

TonyWK

I'm really angry at you, Depression

Happygoluckymiss — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 05:46:42 GMT

Hi there

your post moved me to tears - thank you. It was a wake up call to myself to fight mh and keep going for the ones I love.

You are truly a wonderful person. Thank you x I needed this today

take care

- happygoluckymiss

I'm really angry at you, Depression

copingwithdepressedpartne — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 06:09:53 GMT

Thanks TonyWK, I’ll look them up

I'm really angry at you, Depression

Purple_People_Eater — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 06:54:49 GMT

Hi @CopingWithDepressedPartner

Yes, it's not easy. You have written this very well, blaming depression, not your boyfriend.

I read a great book about depression in men years ago, and it really helped. I think it was 'I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression' by Terrence Real (don't be put off by the publication date, it has heaps of good reviews from people who have only read it recently.

If I've got the right book, the author (a psychotherapist with 20 years of experience at the time of writing the book) had depression in college, so he knows what it's like from the inside too.

Keep posting! And think about joining a mental health carer support group.

PPE

I'm really angry at you, Depression

copingwithdepressedpartne — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 07:08:44 GMT

Thanks PPE, that book looks good. The good thing about my partner is that he is getting help, he sees a psychiatrist and does talk about his illness (depression) quite openly. The bad thing is that it has got hold of him at the moment and it’s not going away, I am losing patience, hopefully it won’t be too much longer before he starts to improve. The waiting is the hardest bit.

I'm really angry at you, Depression

copingwithdepressedpartne — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 07:46:37 GMT

Also PPE, you mentioned joining a mental health carer support group, I’ve googled this and can’t seem to find anything, I’m based in Melbourne, can you or anyone else recommend anything?

I'm really angry at you, Depression

copingwithdepressedpartne — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 09:59:15 GMT

Good on you Happygoluckymiss, good luck with your journey

I'm really angry at you, Depression

Purple_People_Eater — Wed, 06 Feb 2019 04:36:50 GMT

Try here. Let me know if you get stuck.

https://www.carergateway.gov.au/find-a-service

PPE

I'm really angry at you, Depression

Purple_People_Eater — Wed, 06 Feb 2019 04:59:55 GMT

Actually, it's not easy to find them!

https://www.carergateway.gov.au/mental-illness

I have actually given the website feedback to say it's not good enough to find mental health carer groups.

Your best bet is probably to contact Carers Australia (or your particular State's version e.g. Carers NSW) or the Mind Carer Helpline (if this exists in your state). Let me know if you don't get anywhere and I'll try to find you something more targeted.

I'm really angry at you, Depression

copingwithdepressedpartne — Wed, 06 Feb 2019 06:33:56 GMT

Thanks PPE, I’ll let you know if I find out anything x