topic after some carers spport... guidance.... in Supporting family and friends

after some carers spport... guidance....

startingnew — Tue, 17 Oct 2017 05:10:28 GMT

hello everyone, im not really sure what im after. advice.. support...guidance.....
im a carer for my pop and has had to have a test done that was orginally thought a thyroid problem as hes had those in the past but since then have discovered a lump on his pancreas so hes jsut had one of those ct things where the dyes injected and now just awaiting results. and then he went to the drs today and now they want to do a lung biopsy. hes not too worried about it but im doing enough worrying for both of us and more.

ive really only been a carer for 2 yrs but nothing majorly like this before so some guidance would be great.

i was a helper for my nan, it wasnt paid and i was alot younger and didnt really know the meaning of being a carer as such until i started really looking after my pop.

any advice on how to cope would be much appreciated

after some carers spport... guidance....

startingnew — Tue, 17 Oct 2017 22:36:31 GMT

after some carers spport... guidance....

MsPurple — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 00:32:09 GMT

Hi SN. When I first opened up this thread I thought it was on career advice. Stupid dyslexia.

It is really admerable that you are helping your family members out by being a carer. I don't have too much experience in this area but I thought by posting it would pull this up to the top of the new threads. My mum is an RN at an aged care facility and she knows a lot of family members that have been carers for they family members before going into the facility. She said there is no right or wrong way to be a carer if you show love and support. If you are not trained you can only do the best you can. It sounds like you are doing a good job by taking him to appointments, having an understanding of his conditions and needs, and being a general support system for him.

I hope someone with more first hand experience posts here. But i just want to let you know you are doing a good job. You can only do the best you can.

after some carers spport... guidance....

gld — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 00:36:06 GMT

Hi startingnew,

I am here for you, even if you just want to chat about your day to day to take some of the load off for a while.

Gen

after some carers spport... guidance....

startingnew — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 03:07:39 GMT

Hey Ms P thats fine 🙂

im not trained no, so im only going off what i think is right but i dont even know if thats right or not.

HI Gen

thank you i really apprecitate it

ive booked him into a private hospital for next tuesday to get the lung biopsy done. hes told me that i dont have to wait there as itll be 2 hrs and will be fussed over by nurses etc but i dont want him to have to go it alone either

after some carers spport... guidance....

gld — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 03:50:41 GMT

Hi startingnew,

I feel your pop will be in the best of care while he is undergoing his tests.

Sitting and waiting for two hours does have the power to play on our minds. I have done that in the past and now i go and find things to do while i wait to fill in the time. Some things i have done have been catch up with friends for a coffee, gone for a massage, done my food shopping and sometimes gone to the movies.

Gen

after some carers spport... guidance....

startingnew — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 04:09:33 GMT

i kinda have the feeling he doesnt want me there tbh but id rather be close by just in case they need me. its in a city setting so maybe i can stay close by but pass the time abit and make sure my phone is louder than usual....

after some carers spport... guidance....

gld — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 05:10:30 GMT

Plenty is of shops, cafes and sometimes nice gardens you could walk around to relieve some stress.

after some carers spport... guidance....

startingnew — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 21:39:44 GMT

Thanks Gen

Im just so worried about him. I couldnt and havent learnt how to be a carer off anyone. Its been like learning on the job and i just want to do a good job and be a good carer

after some carers spport... guidance....

gld — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 22:50:03 GMT

By your posts you have the right stuff although it is just as important to learn to look after yourself along the way.

I am not too sure what sort of challenges you and your pop go through each day. A little while ago i worked at a day respite. It was awesome for family and the person they cared for as they got a day to do what they wanted to do as the cared for got social interaction with other people to break up their day to day. Maybe you and your pop could see what sort of things are out there for both of you to access.

Gen

after some carers spport... guidance....

startingnew — Thu, 19 Oct 2017 04:13:26 GMT

alot of my job is waiting around, cleaning, making meals and taking hime to the places he needs as well as monitoring medications and getting those for him and looking aftre his well being in general.

i havent got friends at all. but my pop goes out everyday with friends unless unwell that it for about 2 hrs and catches up with them.

im with carers/young carers australia so they can help but i dont really need respite. actually that give me an idea i could probably contact them and see what they say as well.

thank you for helping and supporting me. i really do appreciate it!

after some carers spport... guidance....

Sophie_M — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 00:09:08 GMT

Hi everyone, we're going to close this thread as this discussion is already happening elsewhere on the forum in startingnew's main thread:

Not coping after disclosure

Please help us keep things together on the forums by sticking to a single thread for support - if you have multiple threads going it's hard for others to keep up with your story, and it's also unfair on newer members who run the risk of having their threads overlooked in the traffic.