topic My partner doesn't have long to live in Relationship and family issues

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 07:47:44 GMT

My partner has lung and heart disease,has been given days if not months to live we have a 23 year old son together and I have so many emotions going through my head I have angry outbursts at people and frustration is peaking off the chart

My partner doesn't have long to live

Sophie_M — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 08:16:26 GMT

Hi Homer,
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for reaching out here,

We're so sorry to hear about your partner's condition, we can't imagine the stress and fear you must be experiencing. Please know there is support available to you and your family. The Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEDT on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area.

Please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgmental space.

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 08:34:50 GMT

Ok thankyou its good knowing there are people out there to help

My partner doesn't have long to live

Petal22 — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 09:06:02 GMT

Hi Homer1071,

Im so sorry to hear about your partner.

It must be so difficult for you.

How is your partner coping at the moment?

Please know we are all a very caring supportive community and we are here to support you.

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 10:18:33 GMT

She is scared to go to sleep at night in case she doesn't wake up.She tells me all the time she doesn't want to die and I just don't have the answers for her.I go to work every day worried something will happen while I'm there but I need to work as I'm the main income.She doesn't want me to give up work because she knows how much I love working,but I'm willing to give up anything for her we have been together for 26 years and gone through what a couple would in a lifetime

My partner doesn't have long to live

Petal22 — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 10:39:07 GMT

Ohhhh Homer1071 I really feel for you and your partner.

I understand your partner being scared.

Is there anything meaningful you can do together before your partners time?

I understand how sad this is for both of you.

26 beautiful years together it must be so hard.

We are here for you

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 11:16:09 GMT

She has been through so much and beaten everything,she has had two heart attacks on the second one they found a blood clot she survived that .She survived two cases of neumonia one which they gave her 48 hours to live.We lost a child 21 years ago he was full term but still born she was bitten by a white top spider which decayed the back of her leg,she has DVT and diabetes and after all that I can't believe this is what it's come down to I feel like I'm losing my soul mate

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 11:18:20 GMT

We are just trying to spend as much time together at the moment and make the best of it

My partner doesn't have long to live

Petal22 — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 12:44:42 GMT

I’m really sorry Homer1071 your soul mate sounds like a wonderful person…

Feel free to reach out to us anytime

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 22:52:51 GMT

Not having a very good week this week I found out that my supervisors at work have said that I am very un reliable because I didn't turn up for work last Sunday because my partner has a fall going to the toilet and she hit her head on the toilet bowl as she fell.I had to take her to the hospital to get it checked in case of internal bleeding.My partner is my main priority at the moment and I am doing my best to keep everything going forward and the last thing I need is to be feeling inadequate.

My partner doesn't have long to live

Ggrand — Sun, 12 Dec 2021 01:00:52 GMT

Hello Dear Homer,

I am deeply sorry to hear about your partner...

I nursed my husband through brain and lung cancer 8 years ago and my heart really goes out to you...Ltd really hard watching watching your loved one slowly dying....His Oncologists said 12 weeks and that was all he had...

Homer..does your supervisors know what is happening to your beautiful partner?...If they do and they are treating you like they are...they are so un compassionate and unfair to you...If they don’t know...maybe you could tell them about your partner...or can your Dr. give you some weeks, months off to care for your partner...I am not sure but under a Drs. Certificate your company cannot fire you...and you will have that extra time to care and be with your partner...

I really hope Homer that your not feeling inadequate..you are doing the best you can under devastating circumstances...Looking after a loved on with terminal cancer is one of the hardest things that anyone can do..

My heartfelt thoughts and care dear Homer..

Please talk here anytime you need to...we are all for you to help you in anyway that we can...

A gentle caring hug caring lovely Homer..🦋🤗.

Grandy..

My partner doesn't have long to live

mmMekitty — Sun, 12 Dec 2021 02:39:59 GMT

Dear Homer,

There's no easy way through this, & my heart goes out to you. I'm glad you've reached out to us & would encourage you to write as often & as much as you need.

I notice you mention having a son, so I hope you & he are supporting each other through this extremely difficult time. But you don't mention any other people who could support you, too. Are there any good friends or close family you can call on?

I like Grandy's suggestion about work, & finding out if you can get some sort of leave to care for your partner. I don't know anything helpful in that area, but think, surely there is something. It in your circumstances it is simply too much to expect that you'll be able to not need to have time off, even at short notice?

warm regards,

mmMekitty

My partner doesn't have long to live

Petal22 — Sun, 12 Dec 2021 09:34:23 GMT

Hi Homer1071,

Im so sorry to hear of your wife’s fall….. that must have been difficult for you….

Im also sorry that your supervisor said what was said …….

Its totally understandable why you didn’t go to work last Sunday…

Is your supervisor aware what you and your wife are going through?

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 06:14:32 GMT

My production manager and my main supervisor knows what is going on ,I don't let a lot of people know what is going on because I haven't known many of them for very long.I can't take time off work as I am the main income earner and I am only part time.I don't have any savings as we live week to week,I tell myself that Thier opinions don't matter but it annoys me that they judge me like that.I lost my father about a year and a half ago,a few months ago my dog passed she was my son's best friend he idolized her.I got told a few weeks ago that my job will go in March 2023,so I now have the stress of finding another job.My head is going a million miles an hour I feel like I am losing everything that matters to me in my life and there is nothing I can do about it,I will stay as strong as I can though for my son's well being and I do have the support of a select few people that I know,but I don't talk much to others because everyone in this world has Thier own problems or issues to deal with.I appreciate everyone's replays and I will take everybody's advice on board because just talking like this is already helping in small ways.One step at a time

My partner doesn't have long to live

Tam1234 — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 10:16:15 GMT

I am sorry to hear you are going thru such a tough time. You are an amazing person to be supporting your partner and I bet she feels comforted knowing you are there for her. I love that you don’t care what the work people think and that you are taking one day at a time that is very smart to think like that in such difficult times. I relate to you as cared for my dad for 8 years he lived with me for past 6 months and passed 2/12. You are stronger than you realise, keep reaching out for support. Take care Homer1071

My partner doesn't have long to live

Petal22 — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 11:36:50 GMT

Hi Homer1071,

How sad that your manager and main supervisor know and one said you were un reliable I think that’s very un compassionate of them……. Please know it’s a reflection of themselves and not you……

Im sorry to hear of your Dads passing and your son’s dog.

I understand that things would be difficult for you at this time.

Im glad to hear that you have support from a select few and I also understand this time would be difficult for your son.

Please know we are here as a community to support you.

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Tue, 14 Dec 2021 11:35:26 GMT

It's hard to accept the reality that someone you have been with for so long is going to be taken from you without a choice either way,one way that made it a little bit more comforting for the both of us was discussing how I would deal with her passing after she is gone.I told her that I would look at it as it is her time to go and look after and care for our son who passed so that he can finally have one on one time with his mum and that eventually we will all be together as a family,she found that very comforting.Yes my son and I will be left behind but it puts my mind at ease to think that

My partner doesn't have long to live

mmMekitty — Wed, 15 Dec 2021 03:19:44 GMT

Hi Homer,

You & your son each having time to have these conversations with her is so very important, & I think, possibly the single best thing you can do.

All my best,

nnMekitty

My partner doesn't have long to live

Petal22 — Thu, 16 Dec 2021 13:18:59 GMT

Hi Homer,

I understand that it would be so difficult for you to have the reality that someone you love so deeply will be taken away…… it really would be difficult I feel for you, your partner and son….

Im glad you have both found comfort in the way that you are dealing with things after your partner has passed.

Thinking of you and we are here.

My partner doesn't have long to live

Homer1071 — Thu, 23 Dec 2021 08:58:51 GMT

Is it normal to feel frustrated and angry.My partner has noticed over the last couple of weeks that I have become angry and frustrated causing me to snap at her and my son ,I don't realise that I am doing it and I feel terrible afterwards knowing that sorry isn't enough