topic Confused in Relationship and family issues

Confused

IIEK — Sat, 11 Apr 2026 21:00:41 GMT

I lost my husband January after 40 years. Since his funeral my stepdaughter hasn't spoken to me. She was there before he passed and his family helped me arrange the funeral. I have heard from the rest of the family except her. No explanations, nothing. I thought we were close. They all live interstate. I am gradually going through my husband's things and will pass on things I know he wanted them to gave. But the loneliness and missing my husband and the total cut off by his daughter is something that consume me.

I have tried reaching out but she doesn't respond and the rest of the family are pleading ignorance. If I had said or done something during that time I would rather hear about it. I know my head wasn't in a good place. ..but surely...just to be cut off like that?

Re: Confused

Ggrand — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 03:09:35 GMT

Hello Dear IIEK,

A warm and caring welcome to the forums….

Im so very sorry that you lost your husband…I can relate to the loneliness and missing your husband…my husband passed after 38 years of marriage…its been 14 years since his passing but I still him….

Sweetheart, I’m so sorry about how your step daughter is treating you, I’m wondering if it’s her way of grieving for the loss of her father….maybe she needs time away from memories that reminds her of her father….Its only been a few months and she is maybe hurting deep inside her heart…

Just my thoughts Dear IIEK,

Thinking of you with kindness and care…

Please talk here when you feel you need to, we are here to help support you the best we can….

Grandy..

Re: Confused

IIEK — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 09:45:57 GMT

Thank you Grandy, yes you probably are right...but it is just so painful on many levels. I was his carer and we did absolutely everything together. Just don't know how my life is going to look like.

Re: Confused

moody-_ahhhhh — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 11:32:29 GMT

@IIEK sending condolences to you, i hope u managed to seek further support in a way that suits u.

i think its cruel for them to cut you off rather than address the root of the problem, the least they could do is make it clear they remain on good terms with u.

Re: Confused

Ggrand — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 23:59:34 GMT

Dear IIEK,

It’s so painful to loose a loved one…I was a carer for my husband when he was diagnosed with cancer, unfortunately he passed away only a few months after his diagnosis…I really wasn’t prepared for that…No matter how sick a love one gets, even if we know and try to prepare ourself for their passing from this life it doesn’t matter because devastation always takes us into the deep soul feeling hurt….

My children also ignored and also blamed me…not for his death but for their upbringing (DV)…It took months for them to reconnect with me…Them thinking I was pleased he was gone…which I wasn’t and still not…even though he wasn’t a nice person I loved him deeply and so did my children…so much sadness and heartbreak happened for me with my children after he passed…I pushed them in a way for months, because I wanted and needed to hear their voices…nothing worked….then feeling defeated I sent them both a message saying how much I loved their father and them and if they ever need me I am always here for them….They did in their own time begin to contact me, very rarely at first until today I have a fairly good relationship with them…I don’t see them much as they live 8 hours drive away…they both work 6 days a week so I have come to accept that as enough…it hurts deeply because when their dad was alive, they were regular visitors…

It takes time for the hurt of loosing your husband to ease, but it does, even if it’s hard for you to believe that right now….they remain in our hearts forever…try hard lovely lady to only remember the good and beautiful times you both shared…

Thinking of you with care and kindness….and sending you gentle caring hug 🤗..

Grandy..

Re: Confused

audiology — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 00:35:43 GMT

Hi - just to add on top of the already stellar advice others hae provided - I'd like to remind you that her disappearance might have absolutely nothing to do with you and all reside 100% with her. I am sure she is going through her own journey with grief right now and it impacts everybody completely differently - she may still be at the point of associating you with the pain she's carrying for her dead father? I'd say you've done all that you can do for now and all that remains is be patient until she (hopefully) reaches out!

Re: Confused

IIEK — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 22:13:24 GMT

Thank you...

Yes...I know you are probably right.

The pain is too raw at the moment to think rationally.

Re: Confused

IIEK — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 22:14:28 GMT

I agree....another loss