topic Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family lately in Relationship and family issues

Feeling like a stranger in my own family lately

Guest_10343 — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 12:24:37 GMT

Hi everyone,

I’ve been a lurker here for a while and finally felt brave enough to post. I’m struggling a bit with the dynamics in my family lately and wanted to see if anyone else has felt the same way.

We see each other fairly often, but I’ve noticed that our conversations never seem to go below the surface. Whenever I try to be vulnerable or mention that I’ve been having a tough time with my mental health, the room goes quiet or someone quickly changes the subject back to work or what’s on TV.

It leaves me feeling incredibly lonely, even when I'm sitting right there at the dinner table with them. I love them, but I feel like I’m only allowed to show the "happy" version of myself, and it’s becoming really exhausting to keep up the act.

Has anyone else navigated this kind of emotional distance with their parents or siblings? How do you deal with family members who are "good people" but just don't seem to have the tools to handle the heavy stuff? I’m trying to figure out if I should keep pushing for a deeper connection or if I just need to accept that they might never be the support system I'm looking for.

Thanks for listening. Sending strength to anyone else feeling a bit disconnected today.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family lately

therising — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 20:46:11 GMT

A very warm welcome to you and good on you for being brave enough to give yourself the freedom to express what you're thinking and how you're feeling.

What a fascinating collection of people family can be, hey. Lots of different factors tend to shape each member, such as nature, life experience, certain beliefs and a whole stack more. While some can absolutely come to life with a sense of wonder as to why we think or feel in the ways we do, others do not want to wonder about such things. While I know people from both camps, wonderful and not so wonderful, I've found some of the reasons for a lack of wonder can involve

being conditioned to not think or feel too much. So while they may have started off as wonder filled little thinkers and intense feelers, they're taught to stop such things to some degree
developing the wrong idea that feeling what's stressful, anxiety inducing, depressing etc points to a person being 'broken' in some way or them having something wrong with them. While having the ability to sense what's stressful, anxiety inducing, depressing etc doesn't make life easy, it still remains an ability as opposed to a fault. How would we know something depressing needs our attention if we didn't feel or sense the depressing elements of it?
not wanting to think about or feel things that are too challenging. So much easier not to feel what's challenging. If no one's thinks or talks about it, they don't have to feel it. People who tick this way tend to change the subject towards what they feel as easy, joyful, less challenging etc. I should add that sometimes people don't want to feel our pain or upset because they don't like to imagine we're in pain or upset. It upsets them. Again, it goes back to them feeling what works for them

I could go on with a great list of reasons as to why certain people don't want to think or feel in certain ways or even open their minds to wonder.

With the so-called 'Black sheep of the family' who feels more than others and who considers more than others or who wonders more than others, the 'odd one out' factor can often come down to the fact that they were never conditioned out of being a feeler or sensitive (someone who can sense so easily or deeply). They were never conditioned out of being considerate, while considering so much or wondering about so much. So while everyone around them has been somewhat conditioned out of developing such abilities, who's left to help that person master that which they were born to master and are being challenged to master?

Might sound strange but I've found a lack of constructive imagination to be another factor. If someone can't imagine the possible reasons for my sufferance at times, it's typically because 1)they don't want to imagine or 2)they're not a well practiced seer. I have to say both my adult kids are brilliant seers who can easily see (through their imagination) visions of why I can be suffering at times. While others can be led to see or visualise our struggles, with us giving them a little more info to work with, there remain those who refuse to see into a part of their mind where potential answers are waiting to be seen.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family lately

moody-_ahhhhh — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 22:43:51 GMT

i can resonate with your worries, its hard to make your family feel personable, particularly since we grew up in a culture where mental health is a taboo topic.

i feel i can only show my authentic self on forums like these, and their equivalent webchat services. my attitude to opening up to family and friends isnt good, i cant tell who believes in the stigma behind mental health and just assume everyone does because no one prefaces their opinion on it

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family lately

trying_my_best — Sat, 11 Apr 2026 03:14:16 GMT

Hi! I’m so happy to see you’ve posted!

I definitely understand where you’re coming from! I feel this way when I am around my grandparents, I feel I have to limit my self expression to what is acceptable to them (including my recent ADHD diagnosis) because if I don’t it will cause issues for my parents and potentially my siblings.

I think in your case, have you considered reaching out to your family and telling them how you feel? I know when I have done this I’ve been able to work towards positive steps to feel less like an outsider. If you are not ready to approach them yet have you considered reaching out to a counsellor? They may be able to help workshop you to bring up these feelings with your family. I know when I saw one regarding other things I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable enough to meantion to my family they were a great help at helping me build the confidence to do it!

Wishing you the best 🫶

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family lately

Bonnie B — Sat, 11 Apr 2026 06:44:50 GMT

Hi, I feel like that too with my biological family. My mother died last year in her 90s and I never really got to tell her how her and my dad and my sibling's treatment of me and my family, affected us. We were excommunicated from the family over 30 years ago and it was really only in the last few years that I have been able to re-establish a "sort of relationship" with my parents and siblings. It still hurts though, that really no one in the family realises the ramifications of their actions. I like to think that very very deep down they must realise what they have done to me and my family, but for so long I was a non-person, I didn't exist in their eyes, so they probably thought "out of sight, out of mind". Over the years we were not invited to any family functions, we were nothing to them but my mother would tell me that "she was praying for me". I never knew what she meant by that, but I think it made her feel better and got herself off the hook somehow.