Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners

twolegsjoe — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 05:30:41 GMT

Hi,

Went through a break-up from a very long term relationship (just shy of 10 years) last year, had no major issues with this at first, was working on myself, trying to get my mental and physical health all sorted, settling into a new state etc.

All seemed to be going great for a while - I finally felt like the meds I was taking were making a difference, my physical health issues were beginning to subside, was fitting out my new house and meeting a couple of friends in my new city. But my mental health is starting to slip, and I know it stems from my inability to make meaningful romantic encounters.

I've been trying to approach people at bars and clubs and very rare social gatherings that come my way, and have been using dating apps, none of which I seem to have any luck with. I know this is very broad, of course you can't see exactly how these things go down for me, but I felt the need to get some kind of input on this as I simply have no idea what my problem is.

Friends past and current, regardless of gender, say that I'm attractive, well dressed and groomed, confident, charming and funny, and don't seem to get why I wouldn't be able to get anywhere with potential partners.

On dating sites I match with hardly anybody - over the last 4 months of regular use, I think I've matches with maybe 4 people that have actually engaged in a conversation with me, and only one occasion that amounted to anything physical.

In real life, I've only had one sexual encounter that I enjoyed, and one other where I was chewed up and spat out very quickly. It's really beginning to wear me down and causing me to lose my confidence - it feels like I'm relapsing into my depression and undoing all of the work I've been putting in over the last year.

Only other things I haven't tried are speed-dating, which sounds incredibly depressing to be honest, and meeting people through clubs and extracurricular activities, which I find it very hard to believe is how people find short-term romantic encounters.

For full context, I have no idea for an immediate, fully-fledged relationship, I'm just trying to find intimacy like many other people do. If anybody has any potential insight, I'm all ears. If there are any further details that I can provide to better inform advice, I'm happy to provide that as well.

Re: Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners

blues23 — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 09:10:07 GMT

Hi twolegs

i haven’t had much luck with relationships either I do t have any pointers I’ve tried speed dating , online dating , meet ups , had a few encounters nothing serious one wanted serious I didn’t just because he was a Lot of work very demanding.i don’t really have any advice for you I think if it’s meant to be it will be it depends on what your looking for . Serious or just a fling or a hang out / no matter relationships are complex as is dating &finding a partner or even just someone to hang out with. Just know you’re not the only one who has this problem with finding/ maintaining relationships or even people to hang out with it’s hard . Just keep trying that’s all anyone can do & mostly don’t give up on yourself , yourself is your most important person is u & your wellbeing the rest will fall into place when it’s ready.

topic Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners in Relationship and family issues

Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners

Re: Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners