topic Husband speaking to other women online in Relationship and family issues

Husband speaking to other women online

Guest_39109902 — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 01:12:59 GMT

Hello,

I am married and have 2 kids and am pregnant with my 3rd right now. A few months back my husband brought up the conversation about our sex life and his doubts he has with me like him thinking that I dont want to have sex with him or thinking that I dont love him or even me cheating on him which none of the above is true. I just think I do have a lower sex drive than him and in general I've never had a high libido.

We have had many conversations about the sex topic but we keep going around in circles. Basically now he never initiates or is affectionate. I am trying to clear everything going on in my head and pay more attention to him and I feel like I am putting in the best effort to show my love to my husband but it seems like it is not enough for his standards. I dont usually have high standards in general and I am a simple person and for him to tell me my efforts with our sex life is basically non existent hurts me and I'm not sure what to do.

I also found out he has signed on to dating apps to talk with girls it seems like but because his 1st language isn't English he is talking to these girls in his native language because he set his location to his home town. I am not sure what they have been talking about but this hurts me tremendously and I was not expecting to find out that he'd be talking to other women.

I guess I'm asking for advice or support during this time as I dont have any friends here and it can be lonely not being able to vent or talk to someone about this stuff.

Re: Husband speaking to other women online

indigo22 — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 04:26:23 GMT

Hi,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

I can very much relate to what you are talking about. It is not uncommon for women to have a lower sex drive, also not uncommon for men to have a high sex drive. I had the same problem with my husband many many years ago, we are no longer married but there were many other factors involved, but the difference in libido was always an issue. He would say there was something wrong with me, unfortunately I came to think there was but I know now that there was nothing wrong with me at all.

This would be putting a lot of unnecessary stress on you with your pregnancy and I am sorry you are going through this. Do you have access to a counsellor? It would be helpful to be able to talk about your situation with someone professional. If you haven't looked into this possibility, a visit to your GP to arrange a mental health care plan would help you get started if this is something you think would help.

You will always be welcome to vent here and you will be supported and understood. You could also use the helplines to speak to a professional in real time when you are feeling the need. It is why they are there so please consider using them. If you need help with this, I can provide you with some helpline numbers.

You don't need to go through this alone, help is available and you have already taken the first step in reaching out, I am very glad you found your way to us.

indigo

Re: Husband speaking to other women online

Psychdiaries2 — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 05:29:46 GMT

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out here on the forums, you are always welcome here!

I can only imagine the stress on your shoulders right now, and am sorry to hear what a tough time you’re going through right now. I wanted to ask if this situation is something you want to confront your husband about? I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he is on dating apps in his native language. It seems like he is obviously hiding something and being secretive for a reason. I would suggest picking the right time to talk to him about it if you’re comfortable. For example, you could sit him down and explain what you have noticed on his phone and ask him why he is doing this.

I think honesty and loyalty are two of the most important traits to have in a person and relationship. You deserve to be shown this and treated right. I hope that you get the answers you need.

Keep reaching out here and even reach out to the phone number here on Beyond Blue to speak with a counsellor. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly! Sending love to you

Re: Husband speaking to other women online

Mozaik — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 12:30:01 GMT

Hello, I can see why this would be anxiety inducing, as it seems the relationship is unpredictable right now.

As a woman, if I was in your position, my fear right now would be the impact on the family, if he was to turn his back on it.

Open communication is always important in any relationship.

Women don't need as much sex as men. It's not biologically how we are wired.

Always remember, you must love yourself, before you love others. Don't let what others say impact your self esteem or how you see yourself, you know yourself better than others do, so NEVER let others opinions shape how you see yourself, regardless of who they are.

Remember: in a marriage, there are 2 people who live as one. You might be working together as a couple, but a couple consists of 2 people. There are barriers that need to be respected, and each individual, if they love each other, respects those barriers.

Love yourself, first and foremost, love yourself. Anyone who doesn't love you? Don't give them the time of day.

Someone can't be honest with you? You need to consider what is best for you...

But me personally? I don't have the time of day for dishonesty..