topic Hi there, Thank you so much for reaching out and trusting... in Relationship and family issues

im pretty sure my dad is cheating on my mum

pinkpanda — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 05:32:01 GMT

Hi everyone,

I'm 15 right now and I have reason to believe that my dad is cheating on my mum. It started maybe a year or two ago, where i had stumbled across a contact on his phone when trying to find my mums contact. It was just a contact with no messages, so I brushed it off for now.

A few days ago, I got his phone to look at something on youtube, when I saw that he had gotten a message. my curiosity had gotten the better of me, and i opened it to see a bunch of flirty messages and stuff my dad has been having with another woman.

I tried to brush it off, but it let off a few alarm bells in my head. Later that day, my dad has been getting phone calls, and he was using that flirty tone when talking, and was using terms of endearment that he doesn't really use with my mum.

I don't know what to do - do I tell my mum, or do I keep quiet in fear of making things worse? I'm scared that if i do tell then my mum wouldn't have enough money from her job to take care of my younger brother and I.

My dad has been doing all of this when my mum is at work, and it's a little upsetting because my mum is the nicest person ever, and she tries her best with my brother, dad and I.

Any advice for the situation in general? :((

Hi there, Thank you so much for reaching out and trusting...

Sophie_M — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 08:38:44 GMT

Hi there, Thank you so much for reaching out and trusting us with something so personal. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of confusion and worry on your own, and that’s a really heavy load, especially at your age.

What you’ve described would be upsetting for anyone, and it makes sense that you’re feeling torn about what to do next. It’s clear you care deeply about your family, and you’re trying to figure out the best way to protect everyone, including your mum and younger brother. That shows a lot of maturity and compassion.

You don’t have to figure this all out alone. If you haven’t already, you might consider speaking with a trusted adult, maybe a school counsellor, teacher, or family member, someone who can listen, help you think things through, and support you in a safe and respectful way. Sometimes just talking it out with someone who’s a little removed from the situation can help things feel a bit less overwhelming.

You’re also welcome to contact Kids Helpline, where you can speak to a counsellor confidentially, they’re available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800, or through webchat at https://kidshelpline.com.au. They’re really supportive and used to talking to young people about complex family stuff like this.

You’re not alone in feeling unsure. Many people in your shoes wouldn’t know exactly what to do either. But you don’t have to carry it alone, and support is available.

Take care of yourself, and thank you again for reaching out.

Warmly,
Sophie M

Re: im pretty sure my dad is cheating on my mum

indigo22 — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 08:40:23 GMT

Hi Pinkpanda,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

I can understand that you are concerned and not sure what to do, it is a delicate situation.

That said, there is also a possibility that you may be jumping to the wrong conclusion. I would not take this to your mother for 2 reasons, it is not your responsibility to intervene in their relationship and you could cause a rift that is irreparable without being sure that what you suspect is actually true.

Do you have a good relationship with your dad? If so, I would suggest having a quiet talk with him, just the two of you, about your concerns and see what he has to say. Remain calm and avoid accusations, just talk about it. There may be another explanation or you may be right to suspect. You won't know unless you talk about it with him. This would have one of two outcomes - he will be able to put your mind at rest or he will be aware that you suspect which will give him a wake up call.

If he is doing what you suspect, you must give him a chance to talk to your mum long before you intervene. I know it is difficult to decipher, from the little evidence you have, what might be happening

If you don't feel you can go to your dad with this, could you perhaps talk about this with your school counsellor?

Another option may be to talk to someone at the Kids Helpline so you are not bottling this up inside. You can of course also keep talking here and we will be here to support you, I just want you to be aware of your options.

Kids Helpline – available 24/7 – up to 25 years of age – 1800 55 1800

(they also have a webchat service if you prefer)

Take your time with this, think it through before making any move you may regret later. Above all take care of yourself,

Thinking of you with care,

indigo

Re: Hi there, Thank you so much for reaching out and trusting...

trying_my_best — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 11:43:10 GMT

Hi Pinkpanda

I could only imagine the stress that this is putting you through! I commend you for seeking help and advice! As the others said have you tried reaching out to a trusted adult? This information would be a heavy load on an adult let alone someone your age!

Other than trying to figure out the right thing to do, have you been helping yourself? Sometimes it is so easy to get caught in the drama of adult lives that you forget to take care of yourself! As the others said kids helpline is available 24/7 over the phone or in an online chat if you feel more comfortable! But I also find taking some time to myself by going for a short walk where I can allow myself to sit with my thoughts, observe them and find a way forward without stressing myself out too much is a great way to ponder big decisions.

Take care of yourself 🫶

Re: Hi there, Thank you so much for reaching out and trusting...

pinkpanda — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 02:10:53 GMT

Thank you, Sophie M.

I'm going back to school in a few days, so I will make sure to talk with a counsellor there and discuss what i can do, and how I can get it off my chest.

Re: im pretty sure my dad is cheating on my mum

pinkpanda — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 02:14:45 GMT

thank you for the reply, indigo22.

But yes, i fear that i am sure with my dads actions, because I have both overheard conversations from women who weren't my mother, and seen text messages when I was looking for something on his phone.

My parents aren't much 'talking it out' types of people, and I would doubt that he would say anything to my mum about his actions, because he is both quite prideful and arrogant.

But yes, I can talk to my dad about it, but it would most likely end up with him denying everything and yelling at me in return. I'm planning to talk with a school counsellor and really let go of everything that i have been holding back for a while.

Thanks for the replies, and have a great day 🙂

Re: Hi there, Thank you so much for reaching out and trusting...

pinkpanda — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 02:17:00 GMT

Hi trying_my_best!

Thanks for the reply, and I don't know if I HAVE a trusted adult to talk to. I could talk to my mums' sister (my aunt), but I fear that would complicate things.

Thanks for asking, but yes, I have been trying to help myself by writing and just spending more time with my brother.

Have an awesome day 🙂

Re: im pretty sure my dad is cheating on my mum

indigo22 — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 03:28:46 GMT

Hi pinkpanda,

I am glad to hear you plan to offload some of this with the school counsellor, I hope that you feel a little less weighed down by doing so.

As I have said previously, we will be here to support you whenever you want to talk and you can come back to this thread as often as you wish, even if it is just to vent.

Your wellbeing is our priority so keep reaching out when things get too difficult to manage.

indigo 💜

Re: Hi there, Thank you so much for reaching out and trusting...

audiology — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 02:07:29 GMT

Hey pinkpanda! FIrst of all, let me say this - major congrats on handling the entire situation with as much grace and tact as you have thus far - it shows a lot of maturity and strength and something you should be proud of. And quickly in response to your last post - defintiely don't discuss it with your mum's sister, you are 100% correct in speculating that may complicate things - it most definitely would!