topic Depressed yet somehow being a good husband in Relationship and family issues

Depressed yet somehow being a good husband

al_ch — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 03:14:24 GMT

Hello there

So, this kind of started while my wife was pregnant. Couldn't sleep and lots of changes going on for both of us (new job, moving house and baby on the way). GP thought it would be a good idea to try and put me on medication so I've been on that for 2 years.

Fast forward 2 years and between baby having eating tantrums and wife over worrying about the smallest things, it doesn't feel like there is improvement.

I think I'm a good husband. I work full time and manage to be home every night. Fridge is always full, baby has everything baby could need and want, wife is somewhat spoiled I think. She does think I should do something for myself, but I just don't have the energy or the headspace for it. I'm not a big drinker, but once or twice a week in the evening I'll sit outside under the veranda, watch TV while drinking a few scotches. Somehow I feel guilty doing that too at the start, but then of course, the alcohol takes effect.

Is this everyday life for new fathers? Does it get better? She hints she wants another in a few years, but I can't go through this again!

Re: Depressed yet somehow being a good husband

quirkywords — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 05:14:36 GMT

al_ch welcome to the forums and thanks for your honest post that many can relate to.

Re: Depressed yet somehow being a good husband

quirkywords — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 05:25:05 GMT

al_ch thanks so much for your post with many will relate to. Welcome to the forum.

Having a baby does change many things for both parents. Sometimes mums are so busy with the physical changes and the exhaustion that they find it hard to see how their spouse is coping .

There really pages on beyond. Luke website about being a new dad. I know new fathers that bath their child or read books or do something that is a pleasure and not part of all the chores one has to do. I have known new dads in my family or have felt a similar way and yes guilt seems to come with parenthood certainly comes with motherhood. I have grand children and still feel guilty.

You are not alone and we are listening. feel tp post here at anytime.