Short temper after diagnosis

LSM — Fri, 11 Oct 2024 11:21:50 GMT

I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ADHD and possibly autism and am struggling with my temper I have always had a short fuse but now it’s even shorter (almost non existent)and it’s ruining my relationship with my husband and my kids (one is AuADHD) I am really struggling

Re: Short temper after diagnosis

therising — Sat, 12 Oct 2024 08:20:18 GMT

I feel for you so much as you experience so much overwhelming emotion that, I imagine, no one in your family can fully relate to. I can understand if you feel the need to scream it all out or maybe cry it all out, just to feel some sense of release or peace.

One of the most helpful definitions of 'emotion' I've ever heard is 'energy in motion or e-motion that can be felt'. Whether we define it as chemical energy (dopamine, serotonin, cortisol, oxytocin etc) or we describe such feelings naturally as excitement, happiness, stress, love etc, there's no denying such energies either way can be felt when they're at extremely high levels. When they're at extremely low levels, they can't be felt or experienced. For myself, I've come to ask certain questions at times such as 'What would I call this particular energy I'm feeling? What's increased the volume and/or frequency of it? How can I manage it (including managing to understand it better)?' and the list goes on. With autism and ADHD, volume and frequency can be major factors when it comes to emotion. In other words the amount of noise, stress, stimulants/triggers etc and how often the noise, stress, stimulants/triggers etc come about. For relatively insensitive people, they tend to not feel as much or feel things as easily. For people with heightened sensitivities, who are able to sense easily, certain factors in life can have a 'hell on earth' kind of feel to them.

Not sure whether you can relate but when you're feeling other people's emotions on top of your own, it can take things to a whole other level. For example, if you can sense the deeply depressing nature of a particular challenge in life and you can feel the disinterest of others, when it comes to them not doing what it takes to support you or raise you up and out of that depression, it can feel even more depressing or completely enraging at times. Kind of like 'Not only can I feel my deep sense of depressing sadness, my sense of hopelessness, my lack of vision when it comes to the way forward but I can also sense you not giving a sh**. What the hell is wrong with you😠?!'. I've found another trigger can be the phrase 'Just calm down'. I think a far more productive way to approach things would be through the words 'I'll help you work the anger out. Not just work out what it's about and what's triggering it but I'll help you work it out of your body. Let's breathe it out together or let's talk it out together or whatever works. No matter what, we're going to get it out of you so that you can experience what a sense of relief or peace feels like'. Personally, I much prefer the energy known as 'relief' or the one we call 'peace'. They feel so calm.☮️

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Short temper after diagnosis

Re: Short temper after diagnosis