topic Re: My narsist father won't leave me alone I do not know what to do in Relationship and family issues

My narsist father won't leave me alone I do not know what to do

ssSushiCat — Mon, 30 Sep 2024 04:25:48 GMT

To be honest I do not know what to do. Not sure if this is the right place to even post this, but I think I

need some advice.

About a year ago I used to live with my father. He was very emotionally abusive and I finally managed to get the fuck out at the beginning of this year. Living with him really affected my mental health and it's been taking a while to recover. (But honestly life had been great without him).

I thought I managed to cut him off completely. ( I literally have him blocked on everything I could possibly have). But for some reason he keeps trying to interfere with my life. (There was an incident a while back where he called my mother to ask her what I was doing (She didn't tell him anything and blocked him) and he also for some reason sent me a Happy New Year email which I deleted and blocked him on there.)
Yesterday was my birthday and he for some reason decided to send me a bouget of many pink flowers that was delivered to my door. Not only was this a terrible gift for me because 1. I do not like flowers and 2. I do not like pink. 3. Part of the gift were also many sweets that I also do not like/can't eat.

But also it just triggered something in me. Why did he do this? What was the plan here? Like he knows what I actually like and he knows what I don't like. (This man raised me for 18 years). So unless he has a very bad case of amnesia this was obviously not an attempt to give me a nice nice gift. What the hell does he want from me? Leave me alone.

To be honest am afraid that he will try to weasel his way back into my life. Show up at my door or uni or work. I don't want to see him, talk to him or receive presents from him.

I just want him to leave me alone and stop trying to interfere with my life!

I need some perspective what should I do here? Am I overthinking?

Re: My narsist father won't leave me alone I do not know what to do

Scared — Mon, 30 Sep 2024 08:59:40 GMT

We all on beyond blue have mental health issues. I think i can dare speak on their behalf even. If anybody is hurting your mental health give yourself permission to get as far away from them as possible. That goes for mothers fathers brothers sisters bad friends etc. Save yourself first. Then when your safe in your head then you can explore whether you can see them or not in the future. Either with counseling or without

No your not overthinking this your thinking full stop. Its not your job to fix your father either. Dont allow anyone to make you feel bad for protecting yourself. Protecting yourself is a responsible thing to do. Stay away from him get well and once your strong again when your ready you can think about your father. Well done for protecting your mental health

Re: My narsist father won't leave me alone I do not know what to do

ssSushiCat — Tue, 01 Oct 2024 12:25:01 GMT

I want to make a quick update here. After long consideration I have decided to unblock him and send him a message stating that i do not want any relationship with him and to not send me any gifts or try to contact me in anyway shape or form. And that if he tries anything I will report him to the police.

(I blocked him straight after I sent it to him)

Idk If this was the right move or not but I feel better and safer knowing that I did so. (Yes i mainly did it for me). It kinda feels like I finally "put the sick horse out of its misery".

Now that I've been very clear with him i feel that he has no real reason to justify trying return into my life. Even if he tries I now have very clear message stating that I do not want him there. And I belive this will give me more ground to report him to the police if I have to. And also gives him less chances to try to manipulate me or other people people around me. (Cause like I said I've been very clear and direct, you really have to try to twist it in any weird way)

I've been very clear about what I want and now everything he does can be classified as crazy person work.

To be honest I think I am in a pretty safe space physically and mentally. (Took me quite a while to get here) Although quite unfortunately unable to move, so he still knows were i live, oh well. But I am surrounded by many supportive people who have my back. Thank you to all my friends, you're the best.

To be honest, took a while to get here but i feel like things are getting better.

Honesty remembering that I am now an adult and he literally/legally has no power over me anymore he won't be able to contact me unless I let him.

So yeah...

Good ending I guess...

Re: My narsist father won't leave me alone I do not know what to do

Scared — Wed, 02 Oct 2024 07:33:46 GMT

You sounded perfect and I hope you dont need beyond blue anymore.
All the best to you