tNot sure how to move forward

Guest_21694950 — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 05:21:48 GMT

im not sure how to move forward with my fiances family

at christmas some nasty things were said in a message and over the phone to my fiance after I was feeling left out and unsure of why there was a lot of whispering going on at family gatherings and gathered the courage to send a message to the family about it

we held family christmas at our house regardless of me being hurt and i was watching most of their kids during the day and was getting stressed , i found my fiances sister talking about me after i locked the kids out after chasing them all day and them even throwing balls near our tv. she said some hurtful things to me and i lost my temper and started yelling at her and for others to leave, everyone was very upset with me including my fiance to the point of him almost walking out on me

i was horrified by my own behaviour and when their was a family birthday the next day i made a point of apologising for my actions and owning up to what i had done

some people including my fiances brother didnt want to accept my apology

we are now 9 months down the track and some people are still whispering at family gatherings. We are due to get married next month and his brother and family have decided they are not coming and his sister that was saying nasty things in the kitchen has booked to go to NZ at the time claiming it was for a sick relative but their is a 30th at the same time she is attending. i am having a hens night this weekend which i organised as we are eloping and then celebrating with everyone and made sure his mum was invited and even she is being strange with me. There is a lot of family members that are fine with me but there is still a few that make me very uncomfortable as they exclude me or whisper about me

how can i move forward with them? i know what i did and apologised but it doesnt seem good enough 😞

Re: tNot sure how to move forward

smallwolf — Mon, 16 Sep 2024 11:48:40 GMT

Hello and welcome.

It sounds like you’ve been through a really challenging situation, and it's understandable to be feeling stuck. I would also say that you’ve taken a big step by apologizing and owning up to your part in what happened.

Sometimes moving forward involves accepting and recognising you’ve done all you can to make amends, and to then focus on the positive relationships with others who are supportive.

It could also help to have an honest conversation with the, about how you’re feeling in order to work out a way foward?

In the end... you can’t control their behavior, but you _can_ set boundaries and protect your own peace.

topic Re: tNot sure how to move forward in Relationship and family issues

tNot sure how to move forward

Re: tNot sure how to move forward