topic Re: Scared of leaving hospital to go home in Relationship and family issues

Scared of leaving hospital to go home

Expatboy — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 04:51:14 GMT

I am presently in hospital as I became suicidal and depressed. I am also Bipolar and have ADHD. At some point I will leave to go home and scared of how my wife may react when I’m home.

I am 71 and retired from a senior executive career about 10 years ago due to my illness. Since then I have done simple jobs to earn some money. My wife is 59 and has a very good job with a large MNC and earns a good income. We lived in Asia for over 20 years and returned 2 years ago. In Asia my illness was not covered my insurance and I had to draw down on my super substantially to cover my medical costs.

we returned to Australia two years ago and I agreed to get work that would go someway to cover our costs related to buying our new home and ongoing mortgage. I did get work but recently that dried up so I had to seek something else. I’ve had multiple rejections and so got more despondent with it all. It got to the stage I became suicidal and very depressed so much so that I was hospitalised and still here.

Since coning back to Australia my wife has regularly reminded me to not spend too much money. My wife is very focused on paying of our mortgage in half the time and adding to her super as we would have to eventually live of it.

My wife and I have nearly polar opposite personalities. I am more the romantic, a hugger and put my thoughts out in a not so considered manner. Whereas my wife is very much self constrained, considered, highly intelligent and needs to be self controlled. She really doesn’t see/want a physical connection. We have had seperate bedrooms for over 20 years. I would probably characterise our situation as roommates. However she is very caring about me and a great advocate when I am ill, most of the time.

So I have a lot of mixed feelings about going home and if continuing our marriage is the right for both of us. I am scared of having any conversation about this with her and the confrontation that would arise.

So has anyone else had a storyline this and how have you dealt with it or just some suggests.

Re: Scared of leaving hospital to go home

quirkywords — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 10:39:01 GMT

Gwoolste

welcome to the forum . Thanks for sharing your story. I am in mid 60s and was diagnosed with bipolar50 decades ago. I have not been diagnosed with ADHD as I haven’t mentioned it to health professionals but I do have many of the characteristics of ADHD.
I have had not much like with relations, I am on my 3rd one and it is stressful as partner is control,ing and does not understand mental health although I have been ok for many years.

it is hard to make changes at our age and for me changes affect my health.
You are not alone and I am listening and here to support you.

I hope you have support workers and family and friends to support you when you come home.

Re: Scared of leaving hospital to go home

Expatboy — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 12:58:42 GMT

Thank very much for your kind words and offer of support.
I have a session with my psychiatrist tomorrow and going to ask him for suggestions to get me past this point. Don’t get to see my psychologist till 12/08. I just want to get to the state where I have the courage and resilience to discuss this with my wife. At the moment I just feel like running in the opposite direction. Once again thanks for reaching out.