https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/my-partners-been-unfaithful-in-the-past-and-i-dont-know-where-to/m-p/591053#M53058 <P>I feel so lost. I have 2 beautiful children I adore. I first found out my partner had cheated in 2018 when I was 9 months pregnant with my first child. We separated in 2021 but it only lasted 6 months. We decided on a fresh start and build our dream house. We fell pregnant 12 months later and I found out I had an STI when my bloods were done. I was 12 weeks pregnant then and he said it must have been from when we separated. We are alone out here so I decided to stay and see how I felt once the baby was born and the house was built. My second child is now 18 months old I’m in my dream home and I feel so unhappy. I have no respect for my partner I actually hate him but I cant seem to bring myself to leave. He's ruined both my pregnancies for me and he shows me no love and support. He says that he does but I don't feel any the house is silent. But somehow I'm still here. Im not the loving partner I know I could be because he doesn't deserve it but I am hurting myself being this distant. I get frustrated with my children constantly and I think thats down to our relationship or maybe I blame them for still being here with their dad. How can you hate someone but not be able to leave them. I wont allow myself to make this work because he does’nt deserve my love and kindness but really Im just hurting myself in the process and turning into a person I don't recognise. We will here with no family I moved here for him nearly 10 years ago.&nbsp;</P> Fri, 10 May 2024 05:28:50 GMT Lostgal 2024-05-10T05:28:50Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/my-partners-been-unfaithful-in-the-past-and-i-dont-know-where-to/m-p/591053#M53058 <P>I feel so lost. I have 2 beautiful children I adore. I first found out my partner had cheated in 2018 when I was 9 months pregnant with my first child. We separated in 2021 but it only lasted 6 months. We decided on a fresh start and build our dream house. We fell pregnant 12 months later and I found out I had an STI when my bloods were done. I was 12 weeks pregnant then and he said it must have been from when we separated. We are alone out here so I decided to stay and see how I felt once the baby was born and the house was built. My second child is now 18 months old I’m in my dream home and I feel so unhappy. I have no respect for my partner I actually hate him but I cant seem to bring myself to leave. He's ruined both my pregnancies for me and he shows me no love and support. He says that he does but I don't feel any the house is silent. But somehow I'm still here. Im not the loving partner I know I could be because he doesn't deserve it but I am hurting myself being this distant. I get frustrated with my children constantly and I think thats down to our relationship or maybe I blame them for still being here with their dad. How can you hate someone but not be able to leave them. I wont allow myself to make this work because he does’nt deserve my love and kindness but really Im just hurting myself in the process and turning into a person I don't recognise. We will here with no family I moved here for him nearly 10 years ago.&nbsp;</P> Fri, 10 May 2024 05:28:50 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/my-partners-been-unfaithful-in-the-past-and-i-dont-know-where-to/m-p/591053#M53058 Lostgal 2024-05-10T05:28:50Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/my-partners-been-unfaithful-in-the-past-and-i-dont-know-where-to/m-p/591075#M53062 <P>Dear New Member~</P><P>I'm glad your children are OK, that for me would probably be the most important thing.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>It's totally understandable your reaction to his being unfaithful and the STI, Just when you need support the most when giving birth he is playing around.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>You do sound very unhappy and also less able to cope with your children at times, and that can be a reflection of your unhappiness. After all as I'm sure you realise they only see their father from a kid's viewpoint.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>I think you are quite wise to realise you are hurting yourself, though I've no idea if htat is becuse you have remained in the relationship, or out of a feeling he does not deserve your love. I guess it is made harder as you have no family close to lean on.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Many people do stay in a relationship despite huge problems, and it can be for a variety of reasons, practicality being one, not depriving kids of a two parent family being another.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>This may be one of those occasions where a third party can help and bring people closer. Have you considered family counceling? I'd suggest Relationships Australia (1300 364 277)</P><P>if they have an arrangement in your area. Counseling in no way minimizes the harm he has done but perhaps may make him realise he does value you and the family - after all you did get together again after your separation.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Do you think this is an option?</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>If I understood you correctly you moved away from your own family 10 years ago (sorry if I got htat wrong). Are you still in touch and can they be there for you ? If you are trying to deal with this in isolation it is very hard.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>If you would like to keep on discussing matters that would be very welcome, we are here for you</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Croix</P> Fri, 10 May 2024 14:53:10 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/my-partners-been-unfaithful-in-the-past-and-i-dont-know-where-to/m-p/591075#M53062 Croix 2024-05-10T14:53:10Z