topic Re: Is it alright to say no to someone in Relationship and family issues

Is it alright to say no to someone

JacintaMarie — Sat, 03 Feb 2024 04:31:14 GMT

How are you? I'm trying to do a strategy about accepting my feelings.

OnThursdau & Friday, my job of doing the papers & mail bag someone told me they did it & I mentioned, that's okay, I can do it, then on the Friday, they annoyed what I said & just did the job.

I feel anal about getting annoyed, after all someone did something nice.

But I need to accept this negetive feeling in order to move on.

I think I'm more annoyed because I wasn't listened too, rather than then the job and to be fair, that's what the person is like, they have alot of info in their head.

Re: Is it alright to say no to someone

quirkywords — Sun, 04 Feb 2024 06:54:11 GMT

JacintaMarie

thanks for your post and I like the way you are sorting through your feelings.

I can relate because I volunteer and sometimes I am in middle of a task I can do easily and they just take over. I have said thanks for your offer of help but I am ok.
Do you feel better you have written down your thoughts.?

Re: Is it alright to say no to someone

sbella02 — Sun, 04 Feb 2024 09:47:33 GMT

JacintaMarie,

Thank you for reaching out, and welcome back to the forums.

I can definitely understand your frustration, I've been there a few times. While it is lovely that this person has taken it upon themselves to try and help out, you did mention to them that you were fine with doing the task yourself, and you're feeling annoyed because they didn't listen to your request. I can see that there's a conflict between how you're feeling and how you think you should be feeling, but your feelings are valid.

I think the way you're going about dissecting your feelings is good. You're allowing yourself to sit with how you're feeling, and trying to understand why you feel this way. You've recognised that you're more upset by the principle of not being heard or listened to than the fact that this person has completed your task instead of you.

The best you can do, I suppose, is thank the person but emphasise the fact that you'd prefer to do it yourself next time. Or you could even address with them that you felt unheard, despite the fact that you appreciate their actions. Either way, I think the way you're handling it is healthy.

Great to hear from you. Please feel free to continue chatting with us if you'd like, we're here to listen if you've got more you want to say or work through.

Take care, SB

Re: Is it alright to say no to someone

JacintaMarie — Sun, 04 Feb 2024 22:57:59 GMT

Yes I do feel better that I have written it down & when I hear them saying an excuse/reason I feel bad, I kinda wish they would just say okay, fine, but humans don't do that, we overthink & complicate things

Re: Is it alright to say no to someone

JacintaMarie — Sun, 04 Feb 2024 23:01:24 GMT

Thanks Sheila, I do feel conflict, I'm even going to work extra early today, so it's done & I don't have to say anything, which probably doesn't solve the issue