topic Re: Boyfriend catching up with ex in Relationship and family issues

Boyfriend catching up with ex

Von is lost — Wed, 22 Nov 2023 10:54:21 GMT

My boyfriend and I have just become official and we were randomly discussing what we had on for the week. He said he is catching up with a friend this week and only once I asked “do you know her from school or something?” was when he told me it was his ex. He then said if it’s weird to tell him and he wouldn’t meet up with her. I was fine with it at the time but can’t help ruminating on the fact. She is just passing through the town we live in and she lives elsewhere but I think they have hung out most of today and she might be staying over at his house tonight. Obviously I trust him but my mind is playing tricks on me. It’s really brought out my anxious attachment style. I don’t want this to bother me so if anyone has any tips that would be great to hear.

Re: Boyfriend catching up with ex

quirkywords — Wed, 22 Nov 2023 11:29:43 GMT

On thanks for your post.

I think it is funny he called his ex a friend and then only revealed who she was when you asked.

I jus t wanted to say hi and welcome and others will have more to say.
Be kind to yourself .

I think you are reacting in a healthy way.
will you call him tomorrow.

Re: Boyfriend catching up with ex

Von is lost — Thu, 23 Nov 2023 03:10:03 GMT

I am seeing him tonight for dinner and I’ve come up with a plan of what to say. I think It’ll be along the lines of:

I feel like you left out details about this visit by your ex and i’m not sure why. I think I need full transparency about situations like this to make me comfortable, is that okay?
And then maybe confirm if she stayed the night, and a bit of backstory about their situation.

Im just scared if I don’t say anything I’ll be delusional and/or creating more drama by bottling it in.

Re: Boyfriend catching up with ex

quirkywords — Thu, 23 Nov 2023 06:43:30 GMT

OSS

Voss I like your plan Let us know the evening goes.

i would find it hard to be calm but it is great you have a plan

Re: Boyfriend catching up with ex

spiralshapesun — Thu, 23 Nov 2023 12:25:26 GMT

That is really inconsiderate of your feelings tbh. He should have been honest with you. It’s also super suspicious that she’s staying the night? that’s not normal behaviour.