https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/problem-with-trust/m-p/578560#M51307 <P>Hi, welcome</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Trust is as you eluded to, essential. However it can be complex, it isnt just a case of educating her to trust anyone.&nbsp;</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>This means that couples counselling is needed because she might well have some insecurities that led her to feel insecure. It's finding the real reason for the triggering of mistrust.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>It is certainly unreasonable imo that you have to consider her every time you text someone. A calm trusting relationship does not have those expectations you mention. However, as a partner to someone that you love you need to explain to her that you believe the lack of trust is significant enough to warrant a counsellor to help you both. There is nothing material wise that will change that mistrust.&nbsp;</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Remember, the mistrust could also be fear, that her youth and inexperience or childhood reasons not to mention her love for you, could be feeding her insecurity.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Good luck</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>TonyWK</P> Thu, 16 Nov 2023 01:55:20 GMT white knight 2023-11-16T01:55:20Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/problem-with-trust/m-p/578549#M51306 <P>Hi I'm little over forty my girlfriend is over twenty.. I'm white she is black. Love her a lot..she is saying the same but we are having a problem. Whenever I don't tell her that I was talking with someone she is angry. Is checking my mobile (it never was a problem to me ) and when she finds sth like texting with someone I didn't tell her is angry. I work..sometimes im busy..and today..like few times before I did not tell her I send few messages to other person. (nothing specific it was just hi how are u, where are u nowadays ) don't know what to do.. How to help this relation. She feels as she wasn't giving me attention with is not true. But can't convinced her that it's not true. I work 8h a day.. I'm busy..some short answers to people who I was making friends with before we started dating mean nothing to me but not to her.&nbsp; &nbsp;I'm confused about it. What to do. I'm buying her presents she is happy&nbsp; but when we have issue she is saying it means nothing cuz I'm not sincere person and she is&nbsp; crossing our all our work on building relation. Heh what to do..&nbsp;</P> Wed, 15 Nov 2023 21:34:09 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/problem-with-trust/m-p/578549#M51306 Summer2022 2023-11-15T21:34:09Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/problem-with-trust/m-p/578560#M51307 <P>Hi, welcome</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Trust is as you eluded to, essential. However it can be complex, it isnt just a case of educating her to trust anyone.&nbsp;</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>This means that couples counselling is needed because she might well have some insecurities that led her to feel insecure. It's finding the real reason for the triggering of mistrust.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>It is certainly unreasonable imo that you have to consider her every time you text someone. A calm trusting relationship does not have those expectations you mention. However, as a partner to someone that you love you need to explain to her that you believe the lack of trust is significant enough to warrant a counsellor to help you both. There is nothing material wise that will change that mistrust.&nbsp;</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Remember, the mistrust could also be fear, that her youth and inexperience or childhood reasons not to mention her love for you, could be feeding her insecurity.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>Good luck</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>TonyWK</P> Thu, 16 Nov 2023 01:55:20 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/problem-with-trust/m-p/578560#M51307 white knight 2023-11-16T01:55:20Z