topic Re: Want some feedback please in Relationship and family issues

Want some feedback please

Mysterious987 — Tue, 30 May 2023 09:45:22 GMT

My father in my eyes is a grandiose narcissist, He is highly selfish, He is socially over powering, If something doesn't directly affect him then he doesn't want to know about the problem and it's up to us to solve it. His got misogyn and sexism aspects and many years ago in the older generations he committed violent assaults on homosexual men. He once told me I'm disabled when I'm a regular person, He can lower your intelligence and you develop this under confident mute social psychological effects where you lose confidence with communication or hearing yourself speak, and that also is affected by high school bullying I experienced ten years ago from a malignant narcissistic friend . He treats my mother as a stupid un employed useless house maid, He doesn't respect her and he bullies her. He sais my Centrelink pension is a allowance when it's not even given by a immediate family member. He treats anything under appearance wither your fashion or weight or wanting to have a appealing house as you being superficial & vain

Re: Want some feedback please

white knight — Wed, 31 May 2023 01:07:01 GMT

Hi, welcome

I have a few questions before I can fully answer your post if thats ok?

Are you still living in the family home? Age? Is your pension due to a condition that you need parental care, are you reliant on that?

TonyWK

Re: Want some feedback please

therising — Thu, 01 Jun 2023 00:14:45 GMT

Hi Mysterious987

While it can be challenging to think of someone as a largely self serving, over opinionated, degrading, unhelpful, domineering neglectful person, it's a whole other experience to feel them as being such a person. They really do have a feel to them. If we're sensitive enough they'll be really easy to sense.

Not sure if it will help but I'll throw it out there anyway: While we can basically get a feel for someone's nature, the challenge of feeling at some deeper level is worth the effort on occasion. For example, you can get a basic feel for a self righteous person but going deeper you can get a sense that they're closed minded. Just about every belief they have is fixed within a closed mind. It's like a safe in a way where you just can't access those beliefs and change them in any way. They can love their little impenetrable safe and be so proud of it, believing everything held within it is exactly right and everyone else has got life wrong. Now this is the part where it gets interesting...

If you dare to wonder out loud, that could sound like 'Do you ever wonder why you're so closed minded?'. Most self righteous people will insist that they're not closed minded and/or that you're rude or disrespectful for suggesting such a thing and you don't know what you're talking about. They'll actually fight with you on occasion to prove you're wrong. In other words they won't open their mind to the possibility that they are perhaps closed minded.

I think, sometimes when facing such a person it can be enough to simply recognise our self as open minded and be proud of that. Finding other open minded people definitely helps. Technically, that's a group of wonderful people (full of wonder) who inspire each other to think in a host of amazing ways. This way of life has a much better feel to it.

What a number of closed minded people have in common is...they're fully convinced their beliefs are their own but if you go back far enough into their history you'll find they were led to believe in a lot of what they do. On the other hand, more open minded people have a lot of original beliefs that they tend to share with each other.

I bet you're an open minded wonderful person, which could help explain why your dad triggers you so much 🙂

Re: Want some feedback please

Mysterious987 — Thu, 01 Jun 2023 05:52:35 GMT

I'm still living at home, and I'm medicated for a wrong diagnosis, I am still trying to develop my driving independence, no direction for the right suitable job's, no interest in studies either