topic I don't know whether to scream or cry in Relationship and family issues

I don't know whether to scream or cry

Jarel — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 11:45:38 GMT

So im due to go overseas alone in 7 days for a trip I have been looking forward to because everything at home has fallen apart. My sister is not talking to me and we live in the same house, says when I come but we are to look at selling. My mum has severe depression and on top of that Motor Neurons disease but refuses to seek help and has caused so much unneccesary stress and pain. She lies and manipulates but I cant let her go as she is my mum and she is sick but this has now gotten to stage where I am going to break.. I cannot do this shit anymore. What about me, my sanity! All I wanted to do was go have some fun forget about everything and now this

I don't know whether to scream or cry

_Silver_Lining_ — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 12:25:35 GMT

HI Jarel,

Sorry to hear what is going on in your life.

It sounds although perhaps you need to take the break you have planned for in order to come back refreshed - we cannot pour from an empty cup!

Self-care is super important.

Do you have any other family/friends around that could help support your Mum while you are away?

I don't know whether to scream or cry

therising — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 20:19:14 GMT

Hi Jarel

I feel for you so very much as you face some incredibly stressful and life altering challenges.

I think the holiday is just what you need and I say this for good reason:

For the last 8 years, I've enjoyed the same holiday destination at Easter but returning this year really challenged me for some reason. I came back feeling quite down. Some days later, I finally had an epiphany as to why I was feeling the way I was. I wasn't just returning home, I was re-turning to all the stuff that had been stressing me out, all the mundane aspects of life and all the bad habits I possessed.

I believe, every day we have the choice to turn toward what is best in the way of our evolution or we can re-turn toward what we are familiar with, no matter how stressful and destructive those familiar ways are. The conflict of re-turning to the familiar can be overwhelming at times. The conflict of 'this is how it is' and 'this is not what I want' can play out like a battle in our head, slowly wearing us down. A conflict in our body can also play out at the same time. The amount of stress this constant re-turning puts on our nervous system and other internal systems can have significant impact.

I know it may sound a bit simplistic but a holiday is not just about recreation (having fun), it's also about re-creation (reinventing our self through enjoyment). It's a chance to reconnect with our most authentic self (the adventurer, the strong and determined lone pioneer/explorer, the seeker of joy and fulfillment and so on). The truth is, it is the break or holiday that truly sees us re-turning to our self. When the holiday comes to an end, the greatest challenge involves staying connected to that self and not re-turning to the conflict relating to who we are not.

Use the holiday to rediscover who you are. Take notes if you need, to keep yourself reminded, for when you come back. You may even have a few revelations while you're away in regard to direction. Within reason, do not sway or budge from remaining committed to positive and constructive progress; when you come back from your holiday, make sure that every day you re-turn to the self that you found when you were away and watch as life around you begins to change. Expect resistance from the people in your life while they adapt to the most authentic you.

Have fun on your trip, enjoy the re-creation - a truly soulful experience.

Take care

I don't know whether to scream or cry

geoff — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 20:20:40 GMT

Hi Jarel, and a warm welcome to you.

For good health means, that you have to look after yourself, so whether you go or stay nothing is going to change at home but if you don't go then you are going to regret your decision.

If you have tried all you can to get your mum to the doctor and she refuses to seek any help, that's when you need time by yourself, to go away, you can make contact if you want to, but enjoy this planned trip.

Geoff.

I don't know whether to scream or cry

Jarel — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 10:58:40 GMT

Thanks so much for your reply. I know you are right, that to be healthy for anyone else I need to be healthy for myself first. I need to put myself first this one time and owe it to myself to make the most of this trip. I cannot tell you how much I have tried to support my mum to get the help she needs but I am not getting anywhere at this minute, and need a time out. I am going to enjoy the sunshine and the time away

I don't know whether to scream or cry

Jarel — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 11:01:50 GMT

Thank you for taking the time to write this. When I booked this trip it was to get out of my comfort zone, do something just me for me and rediscover who I am, but then all this other stuff got in the way. I need to keep reminding myself why I wanted to go away and how much I can enjoy myself if I just let myself live in the moment. I truly do hope I come back with a new perspective and feel recharged for whatever life throws my way,

I don't know whether to scream or cry

Jarel — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 11:08:06 GMT

Thank you for posting. I was having a really bad moment and anxiety got the better of me, but I know what you say is true. Im going to go and just be me, the rest will still be there for me to worry about when I get back

I don't know whether to scream or cry

geoff — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 13:57:58 GMT

Hi Jarel, thanks for getting back to us.

You enjoy your time away, there isn't anything for you to think about, except what excitement you are going to have the next day.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

I don't know whether to scream or cry

_Silver_Lining_ — Fri, 09 Aug 2019 01:03:10 GMT

Would love to hear how your trip goes 🙂