topic Lonely in Relationship and family issues

Lonely

Cup_of_tea — Sun, 24 Nov 2019 04:59:01 GMT

I am new on here so not sure what to say just found these forums

I migrated from uk to Australia 11 years ago and are in a really unhappy marriage, I feel so lonely all my family are overseas and whilst I have friends they are not close friends

at the moment my career is really stressful I cope at work but when I get home I fall apart

currently completing a separation agreement to move out of my family home I need the separation amount to move out and buy somewhere for my daughter and I

feel like I can’t think of anything else at the moment

writing this down makes me feel like I am stupid for getting so stressed and I feel like I should get a grip but my mind is just going in circles

I think as all my friends an family are overseas I have no one to talk to and writing it down is like telling someone

kind of feel like I am going mad

Lonely

Truetomyself — Sun, 24 Nov 2019 06:15:20 GMT

Hi Cup of Tea,
I am so glad you reached out here.
I lived in th UK in Oxford for a year a band although I loved it, I went through some tough times and just wanted my friends and family.
I am sorry to hear about your marriage. I have never been married but I know having been a long term relationship and loosing that is heart breaking and honestly you do feel lost.
My therapist explained as the break up occurred back in Australia you go through the stages of grief as if you are going through a death.
You loose something and the struggle does not make you mad at all.
My mind went in circles for a long time. I had to find a new place, I also had a stressful career which now I have changed but at the time it felt everything was out of my control and who knew what would happen day to day.
All the feelings you are having are not the best I know, it is horrible.
You just feel lost , alone and you are just functioning.
I can share suggestions that helped me but I am no expert.
You have used a really good thing to write down what you are feeling. I use that a lot, especially if I have so many things buzzing in my head.
I am not sure if you have the ability to stay in contact with family via Skype etc. I know the time difference is not great but even being able to talk to one person may help.
Also I am not sure if you have any leave but maybe utilise some of that if you do to slow the busy head and mind and take some weight of yourself.
I am unsure what your manager or boss is like but sometimes they are understanding and you can talk to them.
If you feel that you need more support talk to your GP they may be able to help talk but also just see a counsellor whilst you go through this.
It is hard to see beyond what is going on now and there are a range of strategies like writing everything down, free mindfulness apps to give your mind a break or if you have time with your daughter, you can do things together to help distract each other. Even board games or going out to the beach etc.
Reach out to people you have at home, even an email. You have nothing to be ashamed of you just need help.
Also if there is even one person you think you could talk to, give it a go. You might be surprised who is willing to listen.
Every thing is one day at a time.
If you Google Relationships Australia they are a great organisation with counsellors available and focus on situations such as yours so you do not have to go through this alone.
Talking always and writing helps me,
I hope this helps a little for you.
Take Care and know you will get through this.

Lonely

Cup_of_tea — Sun, 24 Nov 2019 06:36:20 GMT

Thankyou so much a lot of what you said has helped

woyis so busy so can’t have time off plus it’s kind of a time where I don’t think about my situation still I will have a break at Xmas and try to get out in nature with my daughter- always helps

I really appreciate your message - thank you

I am one of those people who ends up listening to everyone else’s problems cause I have this happy front but yes I should try to open up a bit more myself

its me who is instigating ny separation we have not been intimate for over four years and slept in separate rooms for longer than that - Iknow we need to separate and life will be better - May be harder for a while but it will lead to a happier place

it’s just scary being so far away from anyone and only having myself to rely on but agghhh that’s what life think I am just having a bad day

Lonely

Truetomyself — Thu, 28 Nov 2019 03:19:55 GMT

You are more than welcome.
Well if it is a bad day, moment or week ensure you come back on and seek any help.
Everyone here can relate and help. 😊