topic Recent separation and struggling in Relationship and family issues

Recent separation and struggling

B_bear — Fri, 24 May 2019 18:15:11 GMT

My wife of over ten years recently left. We always had a rocky relationship and I thought I would handle separation if it happened but I’m not. Currently going through lawyers re property dispute. I’m really struggling to let go, still being in love with her but even more so with the family dynamic we shared with our children. She has been somewhat difficult during this time and recently wrote a letter along with property settlement papers which contained some really hurtful comments. She wants contact and outings together for the children which i would love to do for the kids but it rips me up each time I have to see her. My emotional state is already at rock bottom and seeing her just causes more pain and confusion for me. Just not sure what to do from here. It’s been about five months since she moved out and I just feel like I keep going backwards.

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 03:49:06 GMT

Hi B Bear

im so sorry you are going through this. My husband of 12 years left today after many fights of him not wanting to be home he was finally honest and said he doesn’t love me. It broke heart. I still love him I did everything to make it work. And the worse part is I have no family support he was suppose to be my support.

Recent separation and struggling

B_bear — Sat, 25 May 2019 04:13:22 GMT

I feel for you too Labs4life and I’m sorry you are going through the same thing. Unfortunately it seems all to common. This is the hardest thing I’ve been through and I thought my resilience was towards the top of the game.My first week was certainly my lowest, so take care of yourself. Unfortunately it’s just been such a slow grind for me trying to overcome this. Hoping you will bounce back quicker. Thanks for the reply 👍

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 04:17:59 GMT

Thanks B bear. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I just want him to come back but I know he won’t. He was my first serious boyfriend turned husband. I left my family, I thought we would be together forever and we could get pass this. I don’t get how they can say I fell out of love maybe coz you didn’t try enough.

I hope I’ll be ok but right now I’m not.

Recent separation and struggling

B_bear — Sat, 25 May 2019 04:25:01 GMT

Labs4life have you got any friends you can lean on in the absence of family? If not then there are a number of services around if you advice or just a vent. Even a gp would be happy to lend and ear and might offer some good services. It’s the one thing I found has kept me from completely falling off the rails so far, talking it over.

Recent separation and struggling

Camellias — Sat, 25 May 2019 05:11:41 GMT

Dear B bear

Im so sorry your going through this, I truly can’t imagine how hard it is for you.

I myself am thankful there is places like here where we can reach out to one another and support each other in some way.

I think it’s really hard when children are involved too, I don’t have children of my own but I do love two like they are mine. Even though I am not their biological father.

Do you have friends or family to support you, visit you and spend time with you during this difficult time? The visitations must be hard going for you. Do you have someone to support you or to bring along when you see on the organised dates with her?

Do you have any hobbies or fun things to keep yourself busy?

You have made it through 5 months so far, that’s a huge achievement.

Kind thoughts

🌺

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 07:20:55 GMT

Thankfully I reached out to a friend and she has been around for me to vent and to take my mind off things. I’m not looking forward for tomorrow as I pick up my kids from their dad.

Recent separation and struggling

Camellias — Sat, 25 May 2019 07:58:51 GMT

Dear Labs4life

Nice to meet you. It must be so hard to endure what you are facing.

I’m very glad you have at least one friend you can vent too, that must make a small difference in your difficult situation.

I’m no expert but I have been supporting a lady with her visitation/hand overs for a awhile now, it’s not easy. I feel for the children involved as well as the genuine parent trying to be amicable. The situation I have been trying to be supportive in, has been dealing with a narc father who refuses to be amicable after years of separation. Using the kids to constantly berate her, even in front of the kids he shows no mercy.

Im unsure if it’s amicable for you, but I hope it is for your emotional well being and for the children’s too.

I wish you strength and hope that things become better.

On a positive note, does your username signal a passion for Labradors? I love dogs so I was just curious.

🌺

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 08:14:22 GMT

Yes it’s amicable as it can be. He doesn’t love and I’m over being treated like no one. I’m so angry and I’m trying so hard for it to not spread into it not being amicable.

Yes I love dogs and I have two Labradors, which they give me lots of love.

Recent separation and struggling

Camellias — Sat, 25 May 2019 08:30:48 GMT

Dear Labs4life,

Happy to hear its amicable and well done on the strength that you carry yourself through this ordeal. Remaining calm is hard when you have such strong feelings beneath the surface. Your doing the right thing by staying calm and being positive for the children. It also shows your willingness to facilitate for the sake of the children. It can’t be easy but your doing it.

Just do your best, it’s all you can do.

So thrilled you have two Labs to give you endless amounts of TLC that you deserve. Animals make for the best companions, they never judge us and love us unconditionally. I miss my dogs deeply. I love that we don’t have to speak & they understand still.

You are someone and you matter. Always remember that

🌺

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 08:52:07 GMT

Hi Camellias

thank you for the kinds words. My world has been shattered, all the future plans are gone. And I know one day he will be with someone else and just the thought of it is killing me inside.

I love my kids and I will always do my best to never bad mouth their dad and make it as easy on them as possible.

I’m just missing the companionship that I use to have with him. I’m going through all this and all I want is to cuddle him but I can’t.

I’m sorry your dogs have passed. Animals are the best.

Thanks for your kind words, at the moment I don’t feel like somebody worthy of love.

Recent separation and struggling

Camellias — Sat, 25 May 2019 12:43:54 GMT

Dear Labs4life,

I feel the same on many levels as you right now. Truly, your not alone in that sense. I know we are both alone, as in not having a partner beside us right now. But my friend you have two beautiful children to hold and carry through this world, who rely on you to be the better person, the strong hold. Your dogs also need you and love you regardless.

I offer kind words always of hope and friendship to anyone who maybe in need.

It’s so hard to work through and each day you try your best, I am sure you do your very best.

It kills me inside too that nothing I do is ever enough, I have feared from the first day I met her that another will come along be more financially stable, stronger, smarter, and more. I realised only recently that I can’t control that, if she falls for someone else then she didn’t really love me at all, I can’t control what other men do or say to her, I had to trust she would be faithful to me.

it hurts so deep, when your cast aside, everything aches, eating is a task, as is sleeping.

I know all I want to do is hold her, cuddle her and feel he hand clinging to mine. See the laughter in her eyes and her children’s eyes when I make them laugh, when we all sing in the car or eat together as a family - It’s like I have lived in an alternate universe and I’ve just woke up.

You are worthy of love, kindness and care. Someone to pick you up and say, it’s ok. Everything will be ok if you just hold on. It’s what I keep telling myself.

Are Labradors your favourite breed of dogs? Do you have any interests you would like to share or talk about?

i am currently watching John Wick on TV. I’ve been finding it hard to watch dvds and listen to music, as it reminds me of a family I have... lost 😞

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 13:49:58 GMT

Dear Camellias

I like John wick. And yes I can’t sleep either.

I grew up with German shepherds and I love lots of other breeds lol (i did work experience at a dog day care centre) but since having my Labradors I can say I have a soft spot for all labs now.

I’m studying animal studies which will be a pathway to being a vet nurse.

What about yourself what is your favourite breed?

Recent separation and struggling

Camellias — Sat, 25 May 2019 14:21:51 GMT

Dear Labs4life,

John Wick is so good, I hear there is a new JW movie coming out, part 3? Looks good.

Like you I love all breeds of dogs, but have a few favourites. I also grew up with German Shepherds(old style) I don’t think there is a breed of dog I don’t like. I love goldens, samoyeds, Dallies, also have soft spots for rescues (any breeds) I truly just find such pure love in dogs eyes. Despite the backlash they get, I think pitties are also gentle sweet family dogs. I’ve worked trained with dogs for a good 20years and believe dogs are a product of our environment/training. I use positive reinforcement with them, always.

What colour labs do you have? It’s ok if that’s too revealing for you, I realise all we write here is under the microscope.

I wish you the very beat of luck with your animal studies. I think this is a brilliant career of opportunity for you. I did veterinary nursing at TAFE 2 decades ago, worked in various vet hospitals for years. I didn’t work for me, too much reception work, not enough surgery..and I wanted to cuddle the animals too much lol.

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 14:33:30 GMT

Dear Camellias

yes there is John wick 3 I think it’s out in the movies now.

I have a golden and chocolate. Yeah my goal is to be a vet nurse for a few years then go study to be a veterinarian.

I’m like you also did work placement at rspca and the I loved all the dogs there. I agree pit bull have a bad rap but it’s not their fault it’s the owners.

Recent separation and struggling

Camellias — Sat, 25 May 2019 14:45:35 GMT

Dear Labs4life

Those are my favourite colour Labs too! I bet they bring you great joy.

I think it’s wonderful you have goal! To be a veterinarian, work hard, study hard and you will achieve it!

Almost 1am and I know I should be sleeping.. I just can’t understand why I’ve been cut out of her life..the exclusion is so devastating.

I’m looking at pictures of dogs in the snow to remain calm. Do you like the snow too or are you Summer person?

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 15:00:16 GMT

Dear Camellias

yes they give me great joy. Yes study hard I have to try and get a job to support my self and my kids.

Ive never been to the snow. But I don’t like the heat.

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 15:21:31 GMT

I should be sleeping too but I can’t as all I want to do is talk to my hubby I want a hug from him but I don’t as I know he doesn’t care anymore which is really hard to deal with.

Recent separation and struggling

Camellias — Sat, 25 May 2019 21:39:08 GMT

Good morning Labs4life

I understand how you feel. Sleep is very hard, like you all i want to do is hold her, cuddle her, like we always did. I can’t grasp why she doesn’t want to anymore, I go to sleep eventually having cried so much, wake up feeling like a statue.

i wake up feeling so sick. Does it feel like a nightmare to you too? It hurts knowing the world keeps turning and she has left me behind for better pastures.

I worry I will wake up and have nobody to talk to on here.

I love the snow. Cant stand summer or the heat.

I just realised amongst all my tears and fears, I have taken over someone’s else’s post here. I apologise B bear. That was not my intention.

I hope to see any of my friends here in my posts.

i fear everyone will stop speaking to me after a few days and I will be battling this alone.

Being ignored by her hurts so much.

Recent separation and struggling

Labs4life — Sat, 25 May 2019 23:35:46 GMT

Good morning Camellias

I feel the same way. It does feel like a nightmare. I’m so heartbroken I can’t stop crying this morning.

Thinking over what changed this year

I just want him, I feel betrayed. I feel so alone. I’m going to be alone forever as all my friends have a marriage and families.

i feel like a failure that I couldn’t make him happy and stay in love with me.

I’ll be here if you want you can make a new post were we can keep talking.