topic Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts. in Relationship and family issues

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Thu, 20 Feb 2020 16:13:10 GMT

Hi people,

I’m interested in finding out how “others think” in this situation.

If you were in a long distance relationship and your partner sent you a handmade gift for Valentine’s Day, you get the parcel delivered on the day but you weren’t available to sign for it, Do you;

A - Pick it up the next business day?
B - Pick it up mid week?
C - Pick it up a week later
D - Don’t pick it up?

And why did you choose your answer?

Then... if it was the opposite way around, and it was you that sent your partner something, specifically handmade for them and they say they’re picking it up “this arvo” and don’t end up picking it up, how would it make you feel?

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

geoff — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 03:15:24 GMT

Hello LosingFaith, if I was able to have someone in a long distance relationship, which is never an easy one to have for various reasons, but they sent me a present and not able to sign for it's delivery, then I'd contact them and apologise.

The choice between the options you have listed would depend on the love you have for this person.

If you decide not to pick the present up then there is no love between you and this person.

Love goes both ways and sure if you want to see what they've sent you, it would be the next business day.

The opposite is if I sent a present to someone I love in a long distance r/l and they don't want to pick it up, then I'd be very upset, proof they don't want anything to do with me.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 04:19:21 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Thank you for your reply.

This is exactly how I’m thinking. If I was sent something from my love, and needed to pick it up from the post office, I’d be there straight away to pick it up.

I was the one whom sent the gift. I apologised to her saying that I’m sorry she wasn’t there to sign for it. She said “it’s nothing to go to the post office to pick it up.”

Anyhow, It has been a week today and my girlfriend still hasn’t picked up her parcel yet. It’s making me feel like my sending her this gift was a waste of my time and money. I couldn’t really afford to post it away, but I did because I love her. It was my Valentine’s Day gift to her and I’m heartbroken. 😔

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

TheBigBlue — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 04:47:31 GMT

It really depends on the situation.

My commute & office hours means I am not able to get to my local post office during the week. Leaving only Sat morning provided I am out of bed in time.

If it was a gift from a partner though, I would make an effort to collect it the first Sat I could.

But sometimes life can get in the way, even if it seems like a simple thing to go & collect a parcel. Perhaps your partner just caught up in some of those life moments too?

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 06:05:45 GMT

Hi, TheBigBlue,

Thank you for your reply.

I get that life can be busy. Although, she is not currently working, she recently arranged to spend a night in the city this week - just for the sake of it, telling me that she wished I was there. She’s often out and about and going to her regular sporting events etc. I just find it very upsetting.
I spent many hours putting her gift together and had it sent in time for Valentine’s Day, for her not to even bother picking it up.
I was actually going to bake some homemade cookies and put them in there for her aswell. I’m glad I didn’t, because they’d be no good.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

quirkywords — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 10:08:07 GMT

Losing faith,

Geoff and the bigblue, have given helpful reokues.

If someone is a disorganised and forgetful person as I can be, they just not get around to picking up parcel so reading too much into the delayed response may not be helpful.

I am sure she will like the present and appreciate the effort,

Quirky

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 13:04:19 GMT

Hi Quirky,

Thank you for your reply.

It’s hard not reading into things when it’s a long distance relationship. All types of things go through my head.
I do understand people do forget. It’s just upsetting.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

quirkywords — Sat, 22 Feb 2020 01:04:58 GMT

Losing faith

I have been in a couple of long distance relationships, one that worked for a while and one that didn't.

I feel your frustration and disappointment and hope it works out well for you.

You are kind person.

Quirky

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

geoff — Sat, 22 Feb 2020 02:50:22 GMT

Hello LosingFaith, I am truly sorry that she didn't pick it up, it was Valentine's Day present, that's a special day for a couple who love each other and has a particularly significant meaning, I would be very upset as well.

I don't understand why she says 'it’s nothing to go to the post office to pick it up' but still didn't and question marks I'd be asking.

It's a tough time at the moment and my heart would be broken.

Take care.

Geoff.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

Betternow — Sat, 22 Feb 2020 03:49:29 GMT

My answer would be A. That of course is assuming that I have the means and time to get to the post office. Many people work long hours and the PO is shut by the time they get home from work.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be significant for those in love but I think we also to question how relevant is it to ALL people. My own daughter for example, when I asked her how she plans to spend Valentines Day with her husband, she responded “Nada, we don’t go in for American crap”. Does your girlfriend place importance to Valentines Day?

Having said that though, I agree with Geoff that her tardiness would be very disappointing, no matter how she viewed Valentines Day.

By the way, did she send you a Valentines Day gift?

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 16:57:41 GMT

Long distance relationships are hard. Always wondering.

Thanks again Quirky.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 17:10:08 GMT

Hi Geoff,

I actually confronted her about it and she apologised and said she had been extremely busy, didn’t have time and she’d pick it up on the Monday that’s just gone. She also said that she had other parcels to be picked up too. She did eventually pick it up after 10 days. 😔

I also mentioned how hurt I was to her mum. Her mum even said it wasn’t a very nice thing to do and asked if I wanted her to confront her about it. I just said it was okay and that I had confronted her about it myself.

I am still a little upset that she waited so long.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 17:24:16 GMT

Hi Betternow,

Thank you for your reply.

Yeah, I realise people can be busy, but she’s not currently working. She managed to go and stay somewhere in a fancy place near by, go out to dinner with her mum, go to her regular sporting events etc. It would only take 2 mins out of her day to have picked it up. Like I said to Geoff, she finally picked it up after 10 days.

She celebrated valentines day last year, by having a red rose delivered to my home. I too sent her one.

This year she just said she was sorry she didn’t send me anything, but she has something in the making that she will be sending me, which hadn’t been finished and it will get to me in good time. I really didn’t feel like an important part of her life.
Even just a quick card in the mail would have been nice.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

geoff — Wed, 26 Feb 2020 18:39:44 GMT

Hello LosingFaith, I worry that 'what she is making and to be sent in good time' will actually happen or hoping you will forget all about it.

I do hope you receive at least a small token to show you some appreciation but I have my doubts I'm sorry to say.

If she was genuine a present would have been sent straight away.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Thu, 27 Feb 2020 19:38:37 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Recently I have been told that I have 30 days to vacate the property I’m renting. She tells me she wants to help. I think she expected me to move there with her. Which I told her one day I would. I just can’t at the moment.

As soon as I mentioned that I can’t move there just yet, (this is 9hours or so away.) She sent me a message saying goodbye and blocked me from all social media etc.

Only days before she was telling me I was “the one” and she would “never leave me stranded.”

Well, now I have my answer. 😢

I rang up to book myself into counselling due to everything that has happened. I’m a broken person now.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

Betternow — Thu, 27 Feb 2020 20:35:31 GMT

So sorry to hear the latest twist in your long distance relationship LosingFaith.

What I have learnt from your tale is that gut instincts are key when analysing a relationship situation. As I reread all the threads, you could see the ominous turn the story was taking.

I’m glad you haven't wasted any time and booked yourself in for some counselling. I‘m sure I speak for many others in wishing you all the best.

Long distance relationship - sending and reviving gifts.

LosingFaith — Fri, 28 Feb 2020 12:07:05 GMT

Hi betternow,

Thank you for your reply and for your kind words.

Yep, trust the gut.

Yeah, I need counselling after all that’s happened. I’m no good to anyone if I’m in this state.
I need to look after myself.

Thanks again.
xx